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Can I be bisexual?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Armymanis, Dec 4, 2014.

  1. Armymanis

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    So I am super confused. I love the color green and pink. I love fur and fuzzy things like fleece. When I wrap myself in a fuzzy blanket or fur I feel like a queen. I am a man by the way. I have dreams about having sex with a man, but I also watch lesbian porn. Both turn me on. However, I am afraid of aids so I have never explored this side of me in public. Should I get a dildo and try using it to see if I enjoy it? I have always dreamed about a man seducing me and I get super horny. I also dream of a woman seducing me but me not taking any actions towards the woman except for kissing and being her special boy.

    I am super confused. Someone please help. I have been watching a lot of seduction videos lately and have watched both gay and lesbian. I enjoy porn more then physical touch. I guess I am just afraid because of all the diseases and complications you get with dating someone physical.
     
  2. wolfy1

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    well first thing first, it sounds like your might have a porn addiction. and what your saying about your favorite colors and wrapping your self in a blanket does not mean anything toward your sexuality. those are just ones personality, and although stereotypicaly are seen to be gay, there any plenty of straight men who like those things. as for the dildo thing, again that wont tell you your sexuality. during anal sex a mans prostate is pleasured by the penis(or dildo) witch is why is feels good... but its not only gay or bi men who it feels good to. all men have a prostate and if you pleasure it then it will feel good, gay or straight. its just that most straight men don't discover it. so honestly if you tried it and liked it that doesn't mean you bi (or gay or straight) it just means you like your prostate being pleasured. there is not much here to go by since it sounds like you have a porn addiction, witch can lead you to desire anything to get you off. im not saying porn is bad, but like all things its best used in moderation.

    my advice is to try and stop watching porn and just look deep inside of yourself. look at your attractions, and desires. i think that's the only true way to tell of ones sexuality. but do this when your away from porn, because like i said i think it might be making things cloudy for you. just go with what ever feels right, weather that means your straight, bi, gay... if you still desire and are attracted to what you explained here then that fine too, you are who your are, and there's nothing wrong with that.

    as for STD's, its not hard to avoid them. just think safe sex. that means always ware a condom, talk about the subject of STD's before you have sex. just make sure your in a safe environment. if your real worried there are some medications that help prevent some STD's you can get from your doc. im not really sure what they are so just talk to your doc, and they should be able to explain it and help you figure that out if you so wish to try preventative medications.

    im sorry i could not really answer your question the way you probably wanted. just try what i said and that should give you a pretty good idea of what your sexuality is. and remember that sexuality is not always as straight forward as its made out to be. labels dont always explain ones sexuality that well.
     
  3. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    I agree with Wolfy. Skip all the porn and get to know more people, make friends, find people to share with, date, live life. And along the way, you'll figure it out.
     
  4. Adam1969

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    If you are careful it is statistically unlikely that you will get aids if you practice safe sex. You should do this with all individuals you are intimate with, male or female. For me when I watch men in porn I mostly fantasize about being with them. When I watch woman in porn I I mostly fantasize about being them. That is related to transgenderism by the way, or at least a transgender fantasy. Porn is fun but I do agree with the other members... carefully take your fantasies out into the world and see if you can find like minded others. Good luck! :thumbsup:
     
  5. Armymanis

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    Thanks. I will just stick with porn. I like doing that then being with an actual human being. I was with my ex girlfriend and whenever we had sex it was way to stressful every single time. She always had specific rules that I had to follow like no ejaculating inside her which would cause her to get pregnant. I also had to buy her pills after each session even if she was on birth control. I also didn't get to do anything that I wanted to do. We always did what she wanted to do. I never learned how to make moves or anything like that because she always made the move in order to please herself.

    My counselor and many others say my ex girlfriend abused me so this is why I cannot trust human beings anymore and I go straight to porn. I am just looking for someone to understand my situation and not think this is fake. This really did happen and now I cannot enjoy any human contact for the rest of my life.

    I did have a man suck on my penis and the only thing I didn't like is when he bite me. Other then that Kissing and being given a blow job was enjoyable. My ex girlfriend made giving a blowjob horrible because whenever she did it, she told me not to cum at all inside her mouth. So I just learned to never cum. Oh by the way I never cummed inside the guys mouth because I would hear my ex girlfriend in my head saying no cumming. I know crazy but thats how it is now. I only cum when I watch porn because I know it won't harm anyone.

    I am super confused as I think I am screwed up for life now with human interaction. Everyone else is normal and they won't give someone like me a chance male or female. When I tell other guys about it they arn't really understanding and think I am weird. When I tell females about it same thing. Kind of sucks, but I have already had that journey happen so I guess its onto other things and just use porn.

    ---------- Post added 5th Dec 2014 at 11:01 AM ----------

    The worst of it is my mom and everyone in my family want me to have a normal relationship with whoever I want, but for this very reason above I cannot. I really enjoy being single even though some days I feel like a part of me is missing. I just drink a lot to sooth the pain away. I tried weed before and that doesn't help because I got way addicted to that and couldn't function. When I drink at least I can still be functional and get work. I am 25 by the way.
     
  6. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    I'm really sorry to hear how your girlfriend treated you. It sounds like she was a total control freak and just used you with no concern about you or your feelings. I can't even imagine how that made you feel. Maybe the porn lets you have some sense of control, i don't know. But I hope that with therapy you're able to eventually work through these issues, and eventually find someone you can trust who will be as concerned about your needs as much as you are about theirs. And, while you probably already know this, lots of us gay guys are dying for our partner to cum in our mouth, and feel a little cheated sometimes when it doesn't happen. at least that's how this gay guy feels. but I understand that you are still going through a tough time, and it is hard to evict her from your head. I wish you luck working through this. and I suggest that continuing to share on EC can be a lot of help as well.
     
  7. Damien

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    Using porn, if one is single and unattached, is not only normal nowadays, but I would argue, perfectly understandable, and it's only fit to be called an 'addiction' if it consumes an inordinate amount of one's time and energy, to the point where it has a negative impact upon other, important aspects of one's life. From what I can see, the op does not appear to have a porn addiction, just another normal single person like millions of others, making use of online imagery.
     
  8. Damien

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    One way to deal with the risk of diseases, is to get to know someone well enough that, before having sex, you both get tested, together maybe so it is 'equal', for any of these std's. I agree that casual sex is risky in this regard, but then you don't have to have casual sex; you can get to know someone and build up a level of trust first, before jumping into the sack together. Just one other thing, I think that once you do find someone special, you will find, as I have, that no matter how many venuses or adonises you look at online, well pc screens are lifeless and cold, you know? They don't hug you or whisper lovely things in your ear...and as for physical touch, well if it's with someone you trust, it can be so very nurturing, not to mention arousing...In my case, I would drop my use of porn immediately, once I made a real-life connection with someone special. Personally I see porn as a temporary measure, a way to assuage the emptiness and sexual frustration of not having a real partner to be with. Real human contact is, imo, incomparably more satisfying than even the most beautiful of imagery.
     
    #8 Damien, Dec 5, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2014
  9. Armymanis

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    right now beer is the only one who loves me. I am getting drunk right now as we speak because I don't know who I am. I am not sure if I love men or woman. I am just really confused and want to be alone. I have contemplated suicide before and have tried to do it in middle school. I can't do it now as I have deemed just to suffer through this life with my dog. Who is the only person who will ever love me and will always love me. No matter how fucked up I get or no matter what i decide. My dog will be there for my always. That is why I am alive today. I hate who I am sometimes but don't we all? I mean if society doesn't love us then only our dogs do. Fuck life except for our dogs who are keeping us alive.
     
  10. Wildside

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    I ask only because I care: do you get drunk often?
     
  11. Armymanis

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    About three times a week broski! Beer gives me a warm feeling and makes all the problems go away :grin:

    ---------- Post added 5th Dec 2014 at 10:02 PM ----------

    I am drunk as I am typing this too you but loving life :grin:
     
  12. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    Whatever works. I can't condemn you and don't, because that worked for me for many years when I couldn't deal with the truth about my sexuality. And when it stopped working, then I got some help. Good luck. (&&&)