My mental state has been gradually getting worse and worse. My anxiety has become debilitating every time it hits and it's been hitting more frequently than ever. I used to just have mild social anxiety, but now I can't talk to anyone about anything unless it's just useless banter and I'm starting to get general anxiety too. Every time I'm stressed out I can barely motivate myself to move and all I can do is cry. I've been becoming increasingly more dysphoric, as well. For example, I used to be understanding when people misgendered me but now I just get pissed. My parents refer to me directly as a girl even though I've told them I'm trans and I'm too scared to tell them how much I hate that. I'm also getting a lot of chest and bottom dysphoria when before I only mostly felt dysphoric about my hips, voice, and height. And worst of all I'm suffering from horrible depression and I'm too afraid to tell anyone because no one will believe me because I've never been formally diagnosed. I'm procrastinating on everything and I can't focus on anything and I keep forgetting things. My classes aren't helping either. I have one teacher I can't stand listening to, another who doesn't properly teach anything (in a subject I'm already bad at anyway), one who does nothing but make us read multitudes of stories and novels about romance and Christianity (two things that don't apply to me), and an entire class full of extreme rightists who would be offended by my very existence if I were out. If anyone actually took the time to read that, then thank you. I just needed to get it all off of my chest.
Oh, dear, I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Though there's nothing really to be done about the situation than to wait and hope, I think working on that depression of yours could really help with both the anxiety and irritability. Have you tried doing home remedies for depression?
I have not, but thank you for the suggestion! I could try some out. Honestly any advice is really nice right now, so thank you so much.
I read through this three times, but I don't see anything about doctors or therapists. Did I miss something? Otherwise, I strongly suggest that you talk to you doctor about everything that you are going through, or ask your parents to help you find a counselor/therapist who specifically deals with teens with trans issues. I don't know where you live, but Psychology Today has a search engine for finding counselors. you can google it and probably find something. You're at a good point now in the sense that you are able to articulate what you are going through, and ask for help. But if you don't get some help in dealing with the heavy burdens that you are carrying, it could get a lot worse, and we really don't want to see that happen. there is no need for it.
Do you have any other trans friends? I also think seeking help from a doctor is a great idea! Hang in there it will get better! Keep talking about it! Sorry that you are having difficulty with this!
