First, let me say, having crushes on straight guys sucks bad! As I posted about Thursday, I have been dealing with the crush that hasn't gone away and after years, I'm just now putting aside my shame and starting to talk about it. In short, I formed a serious crush on a guy who is most likely straight during my freshman year of college. Then I built a fantasy up in my head that I started to use as a crutch to avoid dating and feel less lonely. One of the biggest obstacles in letting it go has been struggling with idea of fate. I have the heart of a romantic and the mind of a skeptic, so there has always been a battle in my head between the idea that all things happen for a reason on one side, and fate is simply a construction of the mind on the other. What do you guys think? Is crushing on a guy fate or just biological?
No more a delusion than the idea of free will; either is as likely as the other. But altering your behavior to fit with your perception of fate is probably a bad idea. "I won't put my seat belt on this time, because I'm not fated to die in a car accident." "I won't get that vaccine because I am destined for something else." etc. The same goes for your belief. Don't be so quick to let what you expect will happen put a damper on what you want to happen.
I really like how you answered this. It's just a question the human mind cannot know a definite answer to. That makes acting very difficult, though. Do I call my situation an obsession based in an unmet psychological need or do I consider it an action of fate that I allowed to slip through my fingers? That's my dilemma to ponder I suppose.
No such thing as fate, existence is totally pointless. Which means it is up to each of us to decide what we want to do and what point we want our lives to have and then work to make that happen. Todd
I find it entertaining how most chose to argue the idea of whether faith is real or a figment of the imagination, created by our brain to explain what we do not understand. Instead of actually providing solid advice on how one can avoid getting into such situations in the first place. Everything happens for a reason, and that reason has more to do, not with faith, but with the circumstances that led to the actual occurrence of said situation. If you could see how a situation is going to play out, then you effectively have control over your own faith/destiny.
What a clever answer. I'm not a believer in the traditional idea of 'fate', but I do believe in happy coincidences! Looking back and wondering what might have been, or not have been, if you took different paths in life can still be an uplifting, even if you're not a believer in destiny.
I can't say for sure. There is a little thing in science called chaos theory, where every previous interaction influences the next in a different way so a pattern is impossible to predict. Either we are reacting precisely by the rules and perceive our fated reactions as self-initiated decisions, or we do have a spark of divinity in us that lets us be our own guides. I do tend towards believing in free will for reasons I can't totally explain. It's more a feeling of religion than a conclusion from evidence.
