Jeeze, it's been a while since I've been on! Haha. Anywho, I just wanted to talk about how sucky the dating scene is where I live. There is a small population of gay guys at my school, but they're not at all my type. Flamboyant twinkish guys(nothing against them! Just not my type). So I look to see if there are any good looking guys I could get to know, but I wouldn't if I saw them flirting with a girl or had a girlfriend, which all of them do. Now my highschool has 3000 students, so you'd think there'd be somebody! Nope. All the masculine-bigger-than-me-but-not-fat guys, seem to be straight. It's not like I can go out and socialize often either, as I can't drive yet. I just feel so lonely as most of my friends have someone and are out doing other things while I lay in my bed, like I am now, bored and lonely. I just wish I had an opportunity to be in a relationship for once, so that I have someone I can connect with. It's selfish and naive sounding, I know, but I just can't help it. It's just saddening to me. I see some gay guys together at school and think, "there's hope for me one day", but I think I have to wait until college, which seems way too far away... A whole two years, then I can finally be myself. It's just saddening to me.
Hey join the club Yeah I'm not expecting anything to materialize any time soon. Even in college I feel like I'd be apprehensive to be in a relationship. I suppose I avoided long term relationships with girls in high school for a reason. Guys are just impossible. Trust me you aren't alone there, any gay guys I know are weird and flamboyant or they are too hot to get haha. Imagine being the kinda nerdy type and not having any athletic skill or "hot" looks to speak of. That's fuuuun. I suppose I'm content with just being out there even if a lot of people don't really know. I mean generally most people think I'm straight unless I outright tell them. It's this weird thing where if you don't look the part, no one even knows. Just being myself isn't really enough here. It's almost like I feel as if I have to change even though I've always been this way- a normal kind nerdy looking, social but normalish acting guy that is actually really freaking gay XD. But yeah, strap in buddy because you're in for one boring hell of a ride. And don't feel like it's being selfish or naive, you are only trying to be a happier person. No one can blame you for that. I feel much the same way. I almost don't want to tell people when I go to college next year, but at the same time I feel kind of lonely. I don't even know where to start when it comes to dating guys, even if I feel like going places with girls is easy. (Ironic I know, some of my straight friends don't know how to act around girls)
