Again, eventually I will let you all know everything thats happened, but today everything hurt again A Facebook friend wrote this to my wall, "I'm just gonna say that even though I'm not an active part of Alexis' life, nor do I know her in real life, I fully support her in every decision of her life. Let your parents bash me. I don't care. I won't back down" So my mom then writes this in response "As HIS parents, we haven't bashed anyone, including Caleb. That is HIS name, by the way, he is not nor will ever be Alexis. I don't appreciate being accused of anything when I havent even heard of you before this. It's funny how those who cry for tolerance are the most judgmental, intolerant people I have ever met." This is why I keep bleach ready for when I need to drink it.
Hi there! Don't drink bleach and please don't try to harm yourself. You have a friend who unconditionally supports you. That counts. Even though your mom's response hurts and it doesn't allow you to fully express yourself, there will come a day, where you will be able to move out, and live your life. You already know that you are a pretty strong person. Try to build on that. In many ways, living your life, the way it is meant to be, that is your goal. If you need to, write it out in a journal. On top of the page write: "My Goal: To live my live as me." Then start working on the smaller goals that will help you to achieve the larger goal. It's going to take some work, and efforts on your part, but you know what? At the end of the day, and once you reach your goal, you are going to tell yourself that you have fought for what you believed in, and have achieved it. (*hug*) Is there a possibility for you to move out, and to un-friend your mom from your friends' list?
That's one supportive friend right there. I'm sure you have others that will be there for you and support you no matter what happens. As for your parents-they're the kind of people you don't need in your life. Are you still dependent on them, or are you self-sufficient? Because you are under no obligation to keep in contact with them.
The pain that others can inflict on us, especially those that we are taught by our society are meant to be there for us from the beginning, and on "our side", -- our family -- can be horrible and drive you to dark places of self-loathing and suffering. I hope you don't harm yourself, and know that regardless of it all, you must be a strong person to be coping with all of this and that you deserve love and compassion, if not from your parents then from yourself. It sounds like you have a very supportive friend, and even if they haven't met you, like the posters here haven't met you in person, and I haven't, we do care and we do hope only good things for you in your journey through life.
It's getting even worse. Friends are telling me she's right, I am male nothing changes that. And hundreds of other texts like that. Police came by and did nothing like usual. I need the pain to stop for at least one second. ---------- Post added 13th Dec 2014 at 12:32 PM ---------- I literally can't move. My whole body just wants to shut down. But I can't die no matter how hard I try
If things are that bad, seriously just leave. There must be hostels for abuse victims? You must have a friend you can stay with? Even if it's just for a few days to teach your parents a lesson. They can either lose you for good or they have got to start accepting you, no matter how hard it's going to be for them. They probably need therapy to help them come to terms with it.
Hi there! Can you not move out of your house, and live on your own? As anonym mentioned, hostels could be an option. Do you have a friend with whom you can stay with?
No. I live with my grandpa but its the house right net to my parents. They make sure I dont own any female clothes. THey raid the drawers to check every day. And I have no friends. Ive never had one.
Hostels and shelters are still an option. Look around and see what you can find in the area - or if you need to, out of the area. How much money do you have? Do you work? If so, do you work for a chain? The downside of retail is that it isn't great, but the upside is that many chain stores can and will transfer your employment to another location should you need to move. And I think you might need to move - even if you're traveling light and staying in a shelter or a hostel for a while. Surely, you have friends. The ones that defend you - Alexis, not Caleb - could you make arrangements with them? Maybe you could stay with one of them for a bit while you strive for independance? I'm not saying to run away with internet aquaintances, but if your supportive friends are online friends, they don't have to be taken out of the equation. If they're willing to help you get out of your situation, it might be worth it to take that chance. But use your judgement, really get to know them first. Video chat, make phone calls, don't be risky. One thing that is NOT an option is hurting yourself, or putting yourself in danger. So put the bleach back in the laundry room where it belongs, please. You won't be stuck forever, Alexis, especially if you fight back against your bonds. Find your resources and utilize them. Your family will learn to accept you, or else they'll learn to live without you.
Here's what my mom wrote. And she lied, she loves Caleb, not me. She wrote this to my best friend. "This is in response to her question: "I would still love him. That wouldn't change. Ever. I can't honestly tell you what our relationship would be like. I haven't thought about it too much at this point. It's so complicated because on one hand I do not agree with it because it goes against my personal beliefs but I cannot tell him how to live. He is an adult and must make his own decisions. There are many people I know that I don't agree with their lifestyle or decisions, but that is not mine to judge. I am simply to live out what I believe to be true. I guess it's just a little harder because he is my child, but as I said, he has to decide for himself." And that is the truth. The biggest problem is that we have small children and this is confusing to them. You are always welcome here, but I just don't know how to explain this to them, that although we don't agree and believe this to go against what the Bible teaches, we still want you in our lives. That is why we asked you not to wear make up or women's clothes around them. What you do away from here is your own business. You need to be understanding of us. This goes against all of our beliefs and morals. My question for you is this: Should I compromise what I believe just to make you feel better? I know you know what I am talking about. If you ever want to talk about these things from a spiritual perspective, I would love too but again, in person." My friend told me she thought she would accept me. She completely lied to me. I feel a million times worse now.
No offense, but, your mom can go blow like 50 dicks. She's more worried about her beliefs than your health and happiness?? Is there even a more conditional love than that? I mean it isn't like this is even a spiritual issue, for one thing. So how are you to "talk about these things from a spiritual perspective"? This is your well-being she's sweeping under the carpet. And it's not her place to judge, but it is her place to wield this power over you, to tell you what you can and can't do around her and your family? That sounds pretty judgemental to me. That really upset me. I seriously hope things get better for you soon. :icon_sad: (*hug*)
