Needing advice!

Hi guys,

I guess I'm just hoping for a little advice/guidance/opinion.This is going to be pretty long, but please hang in with me. I've never had feelings for a person like this before, and I really need some guidance from you guys!

Im a college student, and I have always known that I am at least bi- and it has never been something that has bothered me, I have always been waiting to be in a relationship with an actual woman before I confirm it either way. I met a girl last year, during my freshman year of college, and our chemistry was stronger than I've ever felt before with anyone else. She comes from a very conservative background, so I knew I needed to keep my distance to avoid being hurt. But before I knew it, and after only a couple months of knowing her, we were extremely close. She knows everything about me, I know everything about her. We were really great for one another I felt, and I started to think she had feelings for me too. After a night of drinking, she would always call me and ask me to DD or get her drunk food and would make sure no one knew about it and we would sit in the parking lot and talk for a couple of hours and then I would take her back home. As far as she knew I was straight, though. I noticed she started acting more distant when she was sober. I went on Spring Break with her and her friends, we were all good friends at this point, and a guy she was "seeing" was also there. Again, this girl that I was crazy about and knew I loved was either hot or cold with me, depending on if someone was around/listening to us or not. On our way back to college from Spring Break, I noticed she was texting the guy she was seeing at this moment and I briefly looked to see what it said, and it said something like, "I just see how Claire looks at you, and I want to know if you feel the same." Where she replied, "I don't care about anyone else other than you.". This kind of hurt to see, but I was happy that these feelings were finally being recognized. As soon as I saw that conversation, I noticed she became cold to me and never really changed back since, unless she was drunk. One night in May I had enough of it all, she had called me to DD her, and when I dropped her and her friends off at a house party, I had a breakdown. She noticed before she got out of the car, and started hugging me and saying I was her best friend, which let me know that she still had feelings for me. And then began smelling my hair, and kissing on my neck, not in a friendly way, but in a romantic way. She told me she would stop acting so cold to me, even when I said nothing about how she was acting or even that my breakdown had anything to do with her, and that we would talk later when she was sober. I tried the next day, and I couldn't get anything out of her. That night, I was very intoxicated and said some things and she was sober and told me what she said when she was hugging me wasn't true. And then we tried to have a sober talk about it, and she was communicating well with me, but i still knew she was holding back, not telling me everything. I tried one last time, the weekend before freshman year of college was over, we all went out together, and everyone was being very distant to me, with hailey just looking down the whole time trying not to acknowledge what was happening. I left. Her friend and I were fighting and she asked me if I was gay, I looked at Hailey, the girl i liked and didn't say a word. Not wanting to expose her too if happened to be true. I tried getting over her all summer, she was still with this guy, and I had no idea how to reach out to her. About mid-summer, I suggested getting together sometime, not even mentioning what happened in april/may. She was all for it, no hesitation, but the weekend i suggested she had to work, but said we could try the weekend after that. She acted much warmer to me than she had in awhile so i wasn't worried. Eventually it just kept being put off, until school started again. I started asking her, and she would be cold again, saying "now is not a good time" or "I'm really busy right now". In October, I had enough. I was comfortable enough in my own skin to just finally own up to my feelings for her. And I could see she was done with the guy she had been seeing. On Halloween night, I was as persistent as ever, and I knew her well enough to know what buttons to push. So i decided to bring up everything i had just told you. That she knew everything about me and i knew everything about her, and that i was sorry for getting mad that one night, and that i appreciate her for everything she done for me and i know she appreciates what I've done for her whether or not she wants to ignore it, and that she might fool everyone else but she isn't fooling me. She said fuck you and that she has no idea what i am talking about. So i told her that if she meant to use me just tell me and that it wouldn't hurt my feelings but i know she wasn't trying to use me but if she doesn't want to acknowledge that is her own deal and i told her i would still always be there for her even if she does hate. After that she said i was being an asshole right then and i hoped i knew that. Even know though I wasn't saying anything mean. She said I was starting to sound like a lesbian so I said well if i am then you are too. She said she would never use me again don't worry about it. Eventually the conversation ended and I apologized to her the next morning, never receiving a response. All of this had been driving me crazy for so long, i let a few days pass and then I noticed she deleted me off all social media. I finally got the courage to just tell her everything while i knew we would both be sober. I told her i meant everything i said Halloween night and that it wasn't okay for her to call me all of those names that night because i did nothing mean to her nor had i ever. I told her if she wanted to pretend those things in the past never happened and wanted to cut me out of everything possible, then that was fine, and that i had no idea what i did so wrong that could have made her hate me. I ended it with I just needed to get that off my chest and what's done is done. She didn't reply until later that night, and i could tell she had started drinking before replying. She said " so you're telling me you are a lesbian...?" I told her i wasn't a lesbian but definitely bi. She said she wasn't that way but respected that i was. I hadn't talked to her a month, didn't even try in any way possible, and I was starting to try to move on, and had been seeing a couple of other people, they still didn't compare to her, but it was something to keep my mind off of things. A few days ago, I got a text from her out of the blue. She said she knew we hadn't talked for awhile and that she felt like a bitch for asking, but she needed a favor. I of course helped her out, she came over to my house and we had a good conversation, we didn't bring up anything of the negative stuff. She told me she was moving back home. And my heart instantly sank. I didn't know if she was trying to reach back out to me because she knew we had left so much in the air and she was now leaving, or if she truly was just using me. Her hometown isn't far from mine, so it's not like Ill never see her again. Even that night, she texted me and we had a fun conversation just like before, and she has been texting me ever since. I really am more confused than ever, words can't describe how much this person means to me, but I also don't want to move three steps back and realize she is using me or just doesn't realize how deep my feelings are for her. Or that she does have these feelings, and since she won't be around the people that judged me anymore, that maybe it's time she can finally open up to me.

I know this was a very long drawn out story. But I really need an outside look, I would confide in my friends, but I don't want them to feel like they just need to say the nice things that make me feel better. I was making real progress on moving on, and I don't want to go back on not speaking terms with her, but I also don't want to end up taking a chance again and being hurt. What do you think? Do you think now that I admitted that I am bi, and am attracted to her, and now that she's moving away, that she can feel comfortable saying these feelings? Should I let her bring it up if so? Or should I say something again? Or do you think she knows that I have these feelings for her and that I have always been there for her and was just hoping that I still would be for this favor? And now is just sucking up hoping for the next favors to come.

My gut says she has these feelings for me, but I guess I need your perception. Thanks for hanging in there with me.