I look all around me, my friends from my childhood all in relationships, moved away from home, settling down with happy lives of their own in decent careers and even starting families. Then there is me. 26 years of age, still living at home, in debt management, a dead-end job with uncertain security, no friends except a few who live in other cities many, many miles away or who I can no longer see due to them being in different countries. I am also currently deeply in-love with a straight guy with whom nothing could ever, ever happen and I just cannot seem to be able to deal with this or get over him. It is only adding to my already long list of reasons why my life is a living hell. I lead a meaningless life, one probably just not worth living. I have nothing or nobody in my life (except maybe from the world's most wonderful parents) and I am very miserable and am only getting older. I find it impossible to move on in life, I am a boring, sad, lonely pervert who leads a very depraved lifestyle of cruising in public places and going to gay saunas. I fear that the more time goes on the worse it will get, and the more and more unwanted I shall become to people. I will most likely never love and be loved back in that very special way, given I am a sad and lonely, uninteresting creep with crap job and still living at home and in debt. Who could love someone like that? Even if I am currently not all that bad looking? I will most likely never be able to live the life that I want, to just be like everyone else. To make things worse I am bisexual with a preference for guys, something I am not happy with in all honesty. I would love to know my situation is not unique, but I know it is....isn't it? At times I really feel like a complete and utter failure who should just end it all. The sooner, the better.
You're not the only one. I'm 26. I'm trans, pre-t and surgery. I still live with my parents. I don't have any friends. I'm currently unemployed. I'm in massive debt from tuition fees. My family don't speak to me. I'm currently alone in my room while my mum, sister, brother and his girlfriend are sat downstairs laughing and making plans for Christmas. I have no one to spend time with and nothing to look forward to really but for some reason I just keep going.
I live home too, I have no friends here anymore mainly since they're awful people, and I have no job. My only friends I have are far away in their own homes, mainly because meeting them in the Army was a factor. I don't have much to do with my life either, but it shouldn't be that way. Try to find something that interests you and that you love to do, Like reading or enjoying your time at the sauna. Attempt to be friendly with someone there. Or take up a hobby and go out for walks every now and then. Opportunities can pop up in town. You can look for things to go to like a small club meeting announced in a newspaper or website. It may help, I hope. I still need to do something social too.
