Hey guys, Chase here. I wanted to post something about my weekend... I still haven't told my Godmother about my gender indentity, or even the fact I am dating somebody (Who she'd hate). I went to see the Nutcracker with her Saturday and well... It was awkward, to say the least. I tried to have a pleasant conversation, 'til she started talking about how I should act more feminine... We watched the ballet from the balcony seats, and since I never saw a ballet before it was pretty cool for me! Still, the discomfort started to really sink in when she said how I'd make a good ballerina. Now, I know there are male ballerinas out there but even then it is just NOT something I'd ever do. I told her bluntly I could never do that and have no desire too, and then she accused me of being sexist, pointing out there were male and female ballerinas. (Remember she doesn't know I'm trans, but I think she might get a bit of an idea I "want" to be a guy). We kinda tried to ignore any more real conversation that evening, going to vespers and getting some rest. However, in the morning she had a long talk to her friend Jackie over a guy she knew named Andy. Andy had married a man and even though they were close she refused to go because she didn't want to she wouldn't feel comfortable seeing them kiss. After she finished her conversation, she turned to me and said she regretted not going, because she should not focus on other people's sins. At this moment I told her I don't think homosexuality is wrong, and she told me I shouldn't question the teachings of my church, and should talk to our priest about my non-acceptance of the belief homosexuality is a sin. After that she drove me to my friend Malik's birthday party, and had an awesome time meeting his family and just skating and chatting with him. After that, Nunou drove me back to church to watch the CHoir sing some Christmas Carols. On the way there she lectured me on the importance of women in the church and how genders didn't really matter because we were bodiless when we went to Heaven. I asked her why we only had male priests if that were the case. She then went on, saying we shouldn't question what's in the bible. FInally, to top this off, when I went home she talked about how all atheists go to Hell. This is where she crossed the line and I told her I don't believe if somebody lives a good life and just doesn't believe, that if they see God in Heaven and realize they were wrong about him not being real (Who knows if he is or isn't right?) then they still go to Heaven because they're good. She said I'm too "immature" to understand and then I angrily marched out of the car and into my house... :tears: I know this is a lot to read and reply to tonight, and I'm going to bed soon anyway, but please somebody tell me what to do! I am going to see my gender therapist Tuesday but what should I do? I have loved this person all my life and now they're killing me with these things I simply could never believe! :help:
I forgot to add. She also yelled at me and even slapped me once because I told her I didn't want to wear make-up. She thinks "women" should care about their apearances... She just loves pointing out I'm a "young lady"... If only she knew.
Wow. I wish I could help. Somehow I think that the arguments will only escalate. Anyone who tells you that you simply shouldn't question something is never going to budge. It might be good to have an "escape plan" of sorts. Is there anyone who might be able to let you stay a while if necessary? Not saying you need to leave your godmother, but like I said, it would be good to have a plan B just in case.
I don't live with her. I just spend most of my weekends with her and have since I was five. I don't want to stop seeing her, but the way she's acting... It's killing me. Especially since who I am dating is bisexual... She'd hate them.
That's terrible. I could never imagine having to put up with such behavior myself. But I really don't know what else I can do besides wishing you the best and hoping that your Godmother will become more accepting. I feel so sad for you! :'(
Yeah thanks... Again, I just want to know what to do from here on out. I am NOT leaving my lover, since I am head over heels for them and they feel the same way, so I might just have to stop going over there... I hate the idea but I guess it's time to be a man and do what has to be done.
My family knows and my mom even takes me to a gender therapist that helps me deal with who I am and figure out how to be more... me. However, telling her might cause more alot of stress in my current situation... I don't know if I should or not, because I know if I do she'll probably make me regret telling her. My church could kick me out if I refuse to "change." Like change is even an option! I am who I am... It hurts people have trouble seeing.
