Hello everyone! I'm new to this site and I hope to find some help. I'm 28 years old, straight/curious man. I had been confused about my sexuality for a while and I used to think that I was bisexual. But I thought these were just fantasies, so I used to forget about it. I had some problems with my girlfriend and we broke up in April, so I seriously started to consider the idea of trying with a dude. I met a married gay man online. He was 36 and since his partner was in another city we started to talk on the phone. I got drunk and decided to meet at his place to know each other. I regret that shit. I was so drunk and we drank more wine. Next thing I know, this man was sucking me off at the balcony. Then, he asked me to suck him, but I didn't because the idea of a cock in my mouth is repulsive. Then, we were making out in bed and, I let him fuck me; that happened 3 weeks ago. He used a condom and lube. Next day, my anus was loose and sore. I got sort of sick for a couple of days. I'm sure it's not a STD because we used protection but having a dick up the ass messed my mind. I didn't like it and remember my mind going to other place while he was doing it. Then, it was fucking horrible, because it took like 2 weeks for my anus and sphincter to go back to normal- but not totally. This is the thing: I wanted to experiment this and I did; I regret it but it's done. I just want to learn, forget this shit and move on. But my sphincter feels different when I remember what I did, it relaxes and opens a little... and when I feel this weird sensation I feel disgusted and angry. I immediately contract my anus muscles and it closes. I may be the only one who feels this way but it is driving me crazy. My question is: will my sphincter and anus go back to normal? how long it takes? How can I stop the involuntary reflexes when these memories come to my mind? Thanks!
Unless he was massive and was using unreasonable force, you should be fine in short order. Since its the first time you have ever had that done to you, and your overly stressed about it, it seems worse than it probably actually is. You can pick up some antiseptic lotion at a drugstore and apply it for a few days. Don't let the experience get you down. You had a curiosity, you acted upon it, its a life experience, something you can check the box on, and move on if it did not work for you. If you still have thoughts of being with a guy, then maybe your more of a top than a bottom. In that case, you may want to focus on guys your own age, as guys older whom are in open relationships looking to hook up are probably more often than not tops themselves.
Unless he was just overly forceful it sounds like a lot of it is psychological. I've never heard of long term affects, in fact, anal sex doesn't stretch your rear. The loose anus thing on a gay man is a myth. At least this is proof that you can't choose to be gay.
@OnTheHighway: The discomfort is totally gone. I feel that I figured things out, but I've been feeling anxious around my guy friends. I guess it will take time to make my mind up and go back to normal. @NotSureWhatIam: I feel that anal sex stretches the anus. Next day, when I awoke, I felt my ass sore and weird, so I checked it in the mirror... Damn! the opening of the anal ring was different and the orifice was half the size of a penny. Besides, I was not able to hold my farts for 3 or 4 days. There was a change because my farts didn't make any sound. But I guess you are right, it is more psychological.
It sounds like this man was way too rough with you and took advantage of your drunken state. I'm sorry to hear that, I really am. Any gay man knows to be gentle the first time.
Yeah, that motherfuck3r took advantage of the situation, but I can't blame him for this. I'm responsible for putting myself in the situation. I feel better now, because I wanted to experiment a while ago but I was afraid of doing it. I'm glad I did, because I know myself better now. I know what I like and what I don't
