I have no idea where to even begin to look for a guy or how to even tell if a guy is gay or bi because "the gaydar" doesn't exist and I find myself looking at guys at my college but never acting on anything or even speaking to them because in the end I always dismiss the person as straight and it'd be a waste of time. The only answer I can think of is a club but that's not really me and I want to look into this side of me and give dating a guy a chance but I really have no idea where to begin. any tips or advice about what to do .
well, I agree with you that clubbing is not a really good way to go, especially still being in college. but looking for social opportunities is a good idea. see if your college has a Gay and Straight alliance, or a LGBT Club, or some other student organization to support LGBT students. sometimes they go out and do good works, and they usually do social things. there may also be some gay meet up sort of activities in your city, but anything at the college would be most likely to connect you with people your age. and if none of the above exist, you can be the one to start something. arrange for a place to meet, and advertise on Face Book, twitter, some flyers that there will be an LGBT coffee and get-to-know-you for all interested students. If you're not all that out, and that makes you nervous, then that's where making it a gay-straight alliance takes off some of the pressure. good luck!
I'd try going to lgbt friendly event. Like maybe a meeting or a pride event.Get to know him well and if you both seem like a match go for it!
Assume everyone is gay and be flirty by default. It will make your life much easier, when you remove the whole aspect of having to worry about someone's sexuality. Dating sites are fun and all for meeting new people, but I would give up on the idea of actually finding someone that can actually be a boyfriend. Bars, clubs, etc... are not a place to look for a serious relationship. LGBT venues are an unfamiliar concept to me so I can't say anything about them. You know what they say, finding a boyfriend when you least expect it, and all that...
If you aren't comfortable with the idea of approaching guys who might be straight you're going to have to find gay venues of some sort. If you're in university there are probably some clubs, meetups etc that are specifically LGBT. If you are of age I wouldn't rule out bars and clubs until you try it. I remember hating bars and clubs until I went to a gay one. My first trip to a gay bar was after Pride and I met tons of wonderful people, many of whom I am still friends with over twenty years later--at least you will know that most of the people there are LGBT. I can't really speak to the apps or the dating sites, never tried it, never really saw the need. As far as dismissing bars and clubs as a way to find a serious relationship, I actually know lots of people who met their partners in bars or clubs. I met my partner of 17 years in a gay bar. Just get out there somewhere where you can meet other LGBT people even just as friends and eventually it snowballs--maybe you won't meet somebody to date, maybe you'll just meet the person who introduces you to someone to date...
I guess my problem is since i'm straight acting, inexperienced and not fully out it adds to my anxiety and makes that transition for me to show interest that much more difficult. It would probably be better if I befriend them as I would a normal straight friend and see how things play out. as far as clubs go the major gay club in my city is actually combined with my cities most popular club which makes things complicated because i'm not fully out and people hit on the wrong orientation all the time. GSA would be a very good starting point and have a better chance of people near my age. online is something i'm considering to has anyone had good or bad experiences with it?
wear a rainbow wristband, and that will help make sure that the right people are hitting on you! :icon_wink
That's a pretty good idea I never thought of that before. do you think a pink purple blue wristband would have the same affect or do you think its not as a good of a give away because I already like those colors nobody would question it and they happen to be the bisexual flag colors
well, it's probably not as obvious as the rainbow, which everyone is pretty familiar with. but if someone is really looking, they might. but my guess is that nobody will notice. if you want to meet women, well just the fact that you're male will make them think you want them. but if you want to meet men, the rainbow wristband will be a better bet. you can find them on amazon, or other places on line
Yeah unfortunately your'e probably right if I want to be direct the rainbow wristband would work nearly everywhere whereas the Bisexual bracelet will only tip people off in certain environments and situations like in a GSA meeting and even then its suttle but could raise curiosity for what it represents. it is a tough decision because since I am bi even though I am leaning more towards guys you never know what will happen and I don't want to close my possibilities in case a girl comes along and she ends up being someone I want to date and sees the bracelet and thinks "oh hes gay hes not interested"
Speaking from experience, I've had bad luck in the gay bars. If you don't mind people hitting on you and feeling you up then consider it. Last time I went I was talking to a guy and three sentences in he asked me if I was a top or bottom then if I wanted to go back to his place. Hmmmm.... wonder what he had in mind.... I have had great success with online dating. It can seem a little desperate, but what I learned is if you know what you're looking for and if you find someone that is patient it can really help to meet people. The rainbow band is also a good idea, but as you said, if you are bisexual then you are inviting the men and dissuading the women.
