1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Any advice?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by SakoyaLT, Dec 19, 2014.

  1. SakoyaLT

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2014
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I'm just gonna dive in.... I have an amazing boyfriend who I really do love but for as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be with a girl. I've fallen for girls before but never acted on it out of a combination of fear and self loathing....
    I think it's becoming such a big issue because this is my longest relationship. We don't sleep together and I hate the thought of any sexual contact with him.. I find myself relying on fantasies in my head.. The thought of losing him terrifies me though because, and this may sound selfish, he's helped me through so much in the past and I really rely on him.. I'd be lost without him but at the same time, I really need to break free. I'm the kind of person though that can't even break up with someone they don't have any feelings for because they're too scared of change.

    Anyway, I'll shush now. Merry Christmas everyone :slight_smile:
     
  2. Sam I Am

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California, USA
    It's just like tearing off a band-aid ... if tearing-off a band-aid was something that made you feel lonely for months.

    It sounds like you know it's time to move on, but don't want to lose what you currently have. There's so much more waiting for you out there in the world, including plenty of cute girls to date. You have to be the one to step forward. It's scary and it sucks, but trust me, it's worth it. There is so much growth inside of you ready to burst free as soon as you give it a chance.

    You can do it!
     
  3. SakoyaLT

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2014
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Thank you, this helped :slight_smile:
     
  4. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets! :slight_smile:

    As scary as it is to speak with him, try to speak with him about having come to understand your attractions and feelings and that you can no longer resist the pull. It would be good to be open with him as much as you can.

    Speaking with him, you will allow the both of you to move on, and to find someone with whom it can work out. Being honest with him, shows actually how much you care about him, and that you do want the best for him.

    Being fair and truthful with him, you might actually not lose him all together. It would be worthwhile to say to him that you would like to keep him as a friend as he does mean to you a lot, and has helped you to get to this point. It is possible though that he might need a bit of time to come to terms with it all, and while he is putting things back together for himself.