A chance at happiness again

It has been a while since my last update. Sorry about that. Between working and trying to have a social life I’ve been so busy it’s not even funny. I’m moving on with life after the death of my partner, Dan, the recent holidays were rough but I got through them.

So… I’ve been dating quite a bit since then. I still feel a little guilty, but I keep telling myself that life goes on and Dan would not want me to wallow forever. Doing so won’t bring him back. I feel a little embarrassed about saying this but I resorted to online dating. It was a little weird at first, but the people online were not nearly as creepy as I thought they would be. You just have to make sure to vet them before you meet them; otherwise you’ll end up going out on a date with someone that just wants to hook-up. I also make sure to take all the proper precautions, letting people know where I will be, not doing anything risky, etc. Since my last update I have been on a date with four different people. In one night I went on two dates with different people! (Which I suspect will be the high point of my dating career)
The dates kind of went like this:

• Date one was with a very nice man named Tom. We went out to a nice restaurant, but I was so nervous that I kept making a fool of myself. I couldn’t stop blushing. Then we walked around a little but decided that it didn’t feel right. There weren’t any sparks. He was very sweet about it.

• Date two was with a guy named Sean. The date was odd and both of us kind of knew that it wasn’t for us.

• Date three was with a guy named Brett. I went over to his house and we watched Catching Fire and cuddled. Things were a little heated between us. Before I knew it, it was 2 am. He invited me to spend the night there and I accepted. We cuddled in bed. We had another date after that, again at his place, and we cuddled some more and, again I am embarrassed to say this, fooled around a little but there was no sex of any kind. Things were moving a little too fast and eventually he said we were better off as friends.

• Date four went well. His name is Spencer. He’s tall, strong, loyal, and funny. (Just how I like them) The only problem is that we live two hours away from each other. He’s very sweet and we cuddled and watched the golden girls. He invited me to spend the night so I did. Again, I’m a little embarrassed to say, but we fooled around a little, no sex, and cuddled some more. We even flirted on Christmas Day via text and phone, he’s big on flirting. Now we’re dating and I’m very happy.

I am a little shocked at my behavior, jumping into bed with men and all. It’s not like we did anything wrong, but I still surprised myself. It’s a strange thing when you surprise yourself, I didn’t know that I was capable of that. I’ve always prided myself on being level-headed and a little hard-hearted but here I am.

I’ve since shut down my online dating profile because I feel very happy. I’m hoping that things go well with Spencer. He’s an extremely sweet guy that balances me out well. Maybe it’s time for a little happiness in my life again.

 

Yeah, things between us are going pretty well. There's definitely chemistry between us. Sometimes he can be a little too silly, but we both accept that neither of us are perfect and that we should go slow. What more is needed.