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Why do I find myself so ugly...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by bornthiswaybby, Dec 26, 2014.

  1. bornthiswaybby

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    I hate my face. It's disgusting and I would never feel attraction if I was another person. However, I'm often told that I'm attractive and cute and hot. I just can't understand why people say it because it isnt true. Why do I hate myself so much? It's tiring. :icon_sad:
     
  2. bingostring

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    in fact nobody is "disgusting"… It can be a sort of self-hatred, or low self esteem that is twisting things in your mind
    .. if people say you are cute and hot it is probably because you actually are!!
     
  3. HunGuy

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    I've been struggling with self-esteem issues for a long time, and part of it was finding myself ugly as f*ck. Well, I always knew I could change my body by losing weight and gaining muscle but my face... horrible. I knew I couldn't go for a plastic surgery, because I'd hate my face being cut up, but here's the interesting thing:

    My self-esteem has always been like a roller-coaster. When I am down, and I look in the mirror, I just want want to rip my face off. When I'm in a better mood, the mirror says I'm actually attractive at least a little bit.

    My view of my physical body is directly connected to my actual level of self-esteem, and maybe it's like that for you too. Other people see us differently than we see ourselves, and they see you as you are, not as you perceive yourself. They see things in you that you can't because of hang-ups or fears or whatever.
     
  4. banana1

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    I have the same feelings :/
    everyone is comparing himself/herself to others...
    When I talk to a good friend of mine I think "damn, he is attractive as fu**" and he says no, because he want to change this and that.

    Just keep in mind that nobody is perfect and there will always be something you want to change.

    There are some things you can change, I for example started to work on my weight... It's hard but now since 2 months past bye I just bought smaller jeans! I think I am still unattractive, but I am working on it :wink:
     
  5. Damien

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    When I was 18, I hated my appearance. Now, I find myself rather cute, actually. Anyway, remember that you can't control how others perceive you. If they find you attractive, then from their pov, you are attractive and that's it. You had better accept it and not argue the point. :slight_smile: The reality is that some folks will find us attractive, some will find us unattractive, and some will be more or less neutral...the exact numbers will vary, but generally this is true.

    I actually had to 'brainwash' myself, initially. A few years ago, I began saying 'I love myself' as I looked in the mirror, even though I hated myself. It was very hard at first, it felt so fake. But like a mantra, over time it had an effect. The thick layer of aversion to myself began to thaw and break apart, and eventually, I got to the point where now, when I look in the mirror, I focus on those characteristics I do like, the cute ones, and I 'forgive and accept' those I don't, the 'imperfections'. I've trained myself, to first stop hating, then to accept, and finally to even appreciate my own appearance. Oh I still have bad days, when I feel 'ugly', yes. I think most of us can relate to this...but they happen less and less. I hope you can somehow learn to focus more on your 'good points', and learn to 'forgive' yourself for the 'bad' even though, truly, there is nothing to forgive. But when there's self-hatred, it kind of feels like there is.
    Andy. (*hug*)
     
  6. ZestyLion

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    Studies show that most people find themselves uglier than they actually appear. I totally understand. I feel the same way. Just tell yourself that people do not feel the same way about you and that you are beautiful. This is a totally normal feeling, and it may take a while to fight it off!