I recently came out to my mother 2 days ago. When i came out she told me that she will always love me but that i can be fixed/ that i am just going through a phase. I tried to tell her that i was not and that she is wrong but everything i send her to help prove my point she just says is wrong because she doesn't agree with it. Yesterday i checked my email and she sent me this Overcoming homosexuality - Conservapedia . I don't know what to do anymore i just can't take it. I was thinking of just telling her I've become straight and then just never tell her again til i move out? Any Advice?
This is a tricky situation. I've never been in one similar thankfully because my parents are very accepting. All I could think of is going to a counselor maybe? They could do a family counseling session and help both you and your mother through this and get her to accept who you are.
I do know one thing you shouldn't do is tell her that you became straight. Otherwise imagine later telling her that you lied. If she threatens to kick you out of the house or something on that level if you don't change, then that's different. Maybe you can ask her what would convince her that you're right. If she says "I would believe you if there was..." then show her whatever that is, if possible.
I don't think you should tell her you're straight. It doesn't sound like she's being awful about it. Is she? It's more that she thinks you have some ailment. She's wrong and sounds a bit like she's in denial but only you can tell for sure. If she continues to say she loves you and you can put up with/ignore her sending you this ridiculous material, maybe don't bring it up for a bit. Just give her some time. Be confident in who you are. You know she's wrong. Don't let that dictate you.
First of all, Congratulations in coming out it must have been difficult but you finally said it so be happy for that ! Second, I'm really sorry she sent you that article. She seems like a good person for what u described and u seem like u love her too, so try to give her some time to adjust to the recent information. It might be a little hard to do that but just give it some time and see how it goes. Once again congratulations and if you need someone to talk you can always talk with me, I'm a really good listener :smilewave
Okay, take a second....and think about this. It's been TWO days. Even though we all know there are way worse things in this world, for some people, being gay is horrible. If this was two years later, I'd say that she was being an evil little shit. Give her time to handle it. To me, she's just going through the grief stages. If she gets to a point where she's like, forcing you to go to therapy and she's harming your well-being, then you have an issue. But at the end of the day, she THINKS she is helping you - even though she's not. I know some of you will take offense to what I've said - I just think that we can't automatically jump down someone's throat for not thinking the way we do. We need to try and help these people, not bash them into the ground.
As someone that went through therapy to get rid of my same sex feelings I can tell you none of them work! They will just mess you up!:tantrum: Hopefully she will come round and accept you. Try sending her an e-mail with contact details of a support group for parents of LGBT kids. If she refuses to accept you the way you are, the only thing I would suggest to you is to go back into the closet (just to her) until you can live your own life. Get as much help and support as you can - from your local LGBT support group and from on-line communities. (&&&)
I understand that you want her acceptance, but I also want you to be safe. So, if you chose to do so, send her these links and shine some light on the whole, "ex-gay" world. The Lies and Dangers of Efforts to Change Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity | Resources | Human Rights Campaign Here is a history of "reparative therapy" and it's dangers. Index of /survey/results Here is the results of surveys given to LGBT people who experienced "ex-gay" tactics of any kind, including excessive prayer and "reparative therapy." Make sure she looks at questions 8, 9, and 11. And make sure she reads the written responses these people wrote, too. And please, keeping in mind that this is as a last, last, last resort, have a friend on call who you can run away to for protection. I and people close to me know extremely well how homophobic people with "the best intentions" can do horrible things, and that you always need a safe place with a roof over your head surrounded by people who love you for you, not for what you could be with "treatment".
