Im frustrated with females. They seem to have it easier Ive been close friends with 2 guys since the 5th grade. Over a decade of friendship and hanging out after school. Our own inside jokes, similar interests, and enjoyment of each others company. The three musketeers, nearly brothers. I have feelings for one of them now and its tearing away at me. Fast forward to present day, the one I had feeling for rarely responds to my texts. He's busy with his girlfriend almost all the time. The other responds more, but he too has a girlfriend. Rationally I know its not her fault for getting into a relationship, but I can't help but feel like shes taking my place. She is now his best friend who gets to be near his entertaining personality constantly and she gets to enjoy the intimate side with him that I -never- got to or will ever get to experience. Girlfriends/females in general "stealing" away my friends had made me extremely bitter towards them as a whole. I think its made me misogynistic in some ways. I dislike femininity a lot, roll my eyes at the damsel in distress schtick, and get frustrated when guys seem to love that. I think I'm extremely jealous deep down. I dont know if I want to be a girl or should have been born a girl. When I was younger I was EXTREMELY flamboyant. I wanted to dress up in womens clothing. I'd roleplay as the 'girl' with my two friends if we needed one in a video game or something. Now they have girlfriends and all of their time and love is devoted to them. I feel replaced. I feel bitter towards girls even though I shouldn't for "stealing" my friends away. I'm not sure how I can get over being so bitter towards girls. I know its not their fault, but they just seem to have it so damn easy. They get special treatment just for being girls. They get free drinks at bars for being girls. They get approached and don't really have to be the best at socializing to get a boyfriend. They get the undying devotion and love for being girls. They don't have to "fight" for being the one hugged and cuddled, they just automatically are the ones that get held. They don't have to feel selfish for always being on the "receiving" end in intercourse, its just automatically given. Its pretty jaded of me to think of the gay community as this, but a lot seem to be fickle. Tops are rarer which means the competition for them is intense. You usually have to be young and slim for the majority to even consider you. A lot of guys in a committed relationship will usually bring in another guy at some point to spice it up. Or cheat. Obviously that doesn't ring true for EVERY gay guy, but it seems to be not very many are monogamous. Meanwhile, girls are the rare commodity in heterosexual relationships which means they get to be choosy. They can come in all shapes and sizes, there will be more of a chance of them getting a boyfriend than an out of shape gay bottom. Their boyfriends are so loving and caring that they (usually) stay faithful. The bond is strengthened even further when their boyfriend has to protect/provide for them, and strengthened even deeper than that when they have a child. A flirty female can use her looks to get things. A crying female can get a bunch of sympathy and hugs from guys. Just because they were born female, guys from around the world have instinct to protect them. Meanwhile I smile or look perceived the wrong way will get my ass kicked. If I cry I'm told to man up or to stop being such a gaywad. Theres no instinct to protect me, I'm supposed to be able to do that myself. Hearing about how tough one of my girl friends has it when it comes to finding a guy when she is an attractive girl who has guys throwing themselves at her (and genuinely good guys not just for sex either) I can feel the bitterness eating away at me. Gay guys, particularly feminine bottoms are a dime a dozen. Tops who are looking for monogamy are extremely rare, and snatched up by bottom almost immediately. I'm just so bitter towards females. Extremely misogynistic and jealous of them. I'm friendly in person, but I have resentment towards them nonetheless. Finishing off with the statement that I am not a violent person at all. I would never hit another living thing unless its a mosquito trying to attack me. Not sure what the point of this post was. I just wanted to rant I guess. Apologies if I offended anyone.
I emphasize with your jealousy. Lots of times when I'm out and about I feel a real envy toward people who were born female. It's kind of obnoxious when most of the people I see walking around look more like "me" than I do. I enjoyed being around one of my friends a whole lot more before he got a girlfriend. After he did, I felt he didn't have time for me anymore. And I definitely felt jealous, not in a sexual sense, but still jealous nonetheless. All the same, I think it's important that you accept your envy can blind you from a good deal of the harsh reality that comes with being born a woman, with a certain appearance. Not everyone wants that kind of attention. It doesn't always lead to cuddles. Remember that. Also, life is far from perfect for anyone, no matter how happy a given person may seem when you observe them. Most people you see face-to-face will want you to think that everything's going great for them, since lots of folks (man or woman) feel better about themselves when they figure others can look on them with some degree of jealousy.
