I met a guy on a hookup site (don't judge) the other day and it turns out that not only was he smoking hot but he seemed to be a great guy and we seemed to click. I invited him back over tonight. He was actually talking like he was looking for something more than just sex. Well, we did our thing and were laying there talking and I asked him what he was expecting out of this. I would have been okay if he said just sex, but the way he was talking made me question if he was actually looking for more. His reply? He said that he was nervous because I met him on (hookup site) and then said that he was afraid that I would soon ask him if he wanted to do a threesome and he doesn't do them. Either that or that I would cheat on him while he was at work. I bluntly asked him "so you think that just because we originally met on (hookup site) that I won't be able to keep my d!@k in my pants?". And he bluntly said that he knows I can't because of the way we met. Now I freely admit to liking casual sex, but where the hell does this guy get off assuming that just because I met him on a hookup site that I would automatically cheat on him? The truth is I am actually trying to find someone interested in a relationship. Yea I was on a hookup site, but that's because i hadn't got laid in 3 months and frankly I'm single and i have physical needs. Sorry about the rant but him just instantly assuming i would cheat on him just pissed me off and I'm fuming at the moment.
He's looking for love in the wrong places, I think he should stop using the hook up site. And go to a dating site Some people think that people who use hook up sites or apps don't want relationships and are just into casual sex.
OK--maybe I missed something. Did he somehow meet you on a hookup site that he was not on himself?:lol:
:roflmao: hahahahahahahahhahahaha!!!! I love it. very funny, and makes a great point! Redneck, you ain't getting judged by me! I've used those sites for the same reason that you did. some guys indicate that they are looking for LTRs, and some guys are explicit that they don't want that, just NSA. I don't see why two guys can't meet there and then take the relationship to a different level if they click. It's not like he's going to find some gay virgin who has never been with a man and who will be always totally faithful to him like a blushing bride. but people can meet there, and then choose to be exclusive, and honor that commitment. It does happen. but maybe he's just not interested. that doesn't justify him being an ass with you, but if it's not happening, maybe things didn't click for him as much as it appeared.
As OGS and Wildside have indicated, it takes two to tango (or be on a hookup site in this case). Never used hookup sites (my single periods sort of predate them), but virtually all of my relationships (including the one to the man who is now my husband) started out as hookups. So, yeah. This guys sounds like he either has been hurt before (the whole threesome thing seems very specific) and has trust issues, or possibly has trust issues on general principles. Possibly with a side order of not having a lot of experience with gay men and having a lot of preconceptions or biases, including confirmation bias (setting himself up for the very situations he (supposedly) wants to avoid. I'm sure it's irritating, but don't let it get you down and certainly don't let yourself be bothered by making use of a hookup site (assuming you are bothered by that in some fashion). Todd
I would be extremely put off. How does he get off judging you when he was the one doing the exact same thing? I know it was already said but this is the crux of the matter and immediately invalidates his one half-legitimate reason for that misgiving. That guy clearly is not quite right.
I would not let that bother me. There are so many things someone can be insecure about, it's just another one he happened to add to his list.
Update: He contacted me just before I got off work this morning wanting to spend the day together because he actually had a day off (works two jobs) and actually agreed (I know, I know, but did I mention he is smoking hot?). He showed up a little after i got home and showered and I probably should have had him leave wayyy before he did (after he left i overslept and was late to work screwing myself out of holiday pay). After spending the day with him I think Todd is on the right track.
Sorry about the double post I was interrupted earlier. As I was saying I think Todd was on the right track. I can tell he is struggling with liking guys (he's not out) one minute he is talking like he hopes we will be more than fuck buddies. He says stuff like he wants me to work out with him or that we should go eat at _____ restaurant sometime. The next minute he spotted my necklace and questioned me why I would wear pride jewelry. I'm not sure if he was cheated on before or if he's playing stereotypes.
