Hello, lately I have been battling depression. I feel like I'm going nowhere in life, I'm always scared, I cut, and I cry every day. As a matter of fact, I'm crying as I write this. I'm always sad, and I never want to do anything. It's so bad that I don't even want to do anything anymore, not even the things I'd normally love to do. My mom doesn't care, because she has depression and says nothing's wrong with me. I don't talk to anyone about this, because when I do, they either pity me or they just don't care. Nobody takes it seriously or tries to help. I have 1 friend, but we have not met in real life. I only really talk to him because he understands. But we don't know each other in real life, making it hard to help. And my mom is convinced that everyone on the internet is evil, making it even harder to see him. We "like-like" each other a lot. But this makes my depression worse - the fact that I will get in trouble if my mom finds out. Everyone says "it gets better". But I just can't see myself even having a future. I want to live, but this isn't living... Wake up at noon, sit around feeling sad, go to sleep at 4am, repeat...No friends, no family that cares. I'm not looking for anyone to say "Oh, I feel sorry for you", I just want some help. I need advice. I feel like I'm living an endless loop...Don't say it gets better, because it just doesn't for me. Thanks for your help...
I've been battling with depression for a while now as well, and even as I type this, I have the urge to cut. I'm glad you seem to still have a will to live. You are very strong for that. Is there any adult in your life that would be wiling to take you to a psychiatrist or even the hospital? Are you against going to either?
Actually, I want to see a psychiatrist. But my mom's schedule with her work and appointments is always full.
And she doesn't take you seriously enough to make time. You're really stuck on that front, huh? Is there anybody else in your life that might be willing to take you? Moving off that topic for a minute, how are you RIGHT now? Do you feel suicidal at all?
I don't feel suicidal. I'm too depressed to even think about death because it makes me feel worse. I don't have anyone else to take me to a therapist, counselor, or a psychiatrist.
Well, I'm glad you're not suicidal at least. The self harm is still troubling though. Does your mother know? If not, it may be worth a shot to see if she actually reacts to that.
She'll only be mad at me. She gets concerned with other people who self-harm, but one time I gave myself a bruise. She saw it and yelled at me...
depression is a serious medical condition. it is unfortunate that your mother doesn't take it as seriously as she should. can you go to a counselor at school and tell them what you're going through?
Yeah, talking about it does help a lot. And I go to a different kind of school that doesn't have counselors.
I'm sorry to hear that your school doesn't have any counselors. that's really unfortunate, because lots of kids need somebody to talk to about things. but it is what it is, and I am so glad that you found EC so that you have a place to come and vent, and other people who will listen to you, and who have been down similar paths.
I just feel bored. There's plenty of things to do, and I just don't want to do anything. I have to complete a project today but I always get stressed out... ---------- Post added 31st Dec 2014 at 10:25 AM ---------- Yeah, EC does help me a lot
Me and depression are like a married couple, if he gets out of line I just wack depression the the face... Muhahahaha! In all honesty, I have been trying to get in contact with the lgbt community in my area. They have counselor and psychologist at the lgbt center. I would advice you to go find yourself counselor and accept that people will make that pouty pity face when they talk to you about your problem. The almighty knows the many psychologist I have fooled and beaten simply because I think beyond depression. When it comes down to it I learn to remember that 80 years more of depression weights less than 80 years of fun innovation. - your atypical booksaurus, Erika
The important thing is to stay connected and keep talking/typing about your feelings, including the feelings of wanting to cut. Staying silent feeds the depression and despair. If the urge to cut is very strong try to explore the possibility of alternative coping mechanisms, like these: http://www.nshn.co.uk/upload/Distractions.pdf Remember, there is no shame in reaching out for support when you are not strong. If it helps to talk through this forum, keep at it. You're probably doing better than you think are.
