So I just made this account here because I wanted help from people I don't know. I got married to the man of my dreams (no beyond my dreams) about 5 months ago. I never thought I would be married to a bi-sexual person, or military, or most of anything he is. But love is the most amazing thing right? When I met him it was like all my problems where erased. In a way it was because my family left me and I am far away from them. They are Jehovah Witnesses and they are mad that I am no longer apart of them. But that's not the problem. All this time I had no problems. Until now... My Husband lets me have freedom beyond what I ever wanted. I can be who ever I am. when I met him I was starting to conform to my family. I was growing out my hair and it got long. I was just trying to be happy even if that meant not being happy but just sucking up to everyone so they don't hurt me anymore. Well its been months now. And His Aunt has a split personality. While talking with her and listening to her story I remembered my old life. All those years of pain. It was so much the same. Then I remembered "him". I remembered Jaaku. Jaaku was the thing that kept me alive. He kept me from killing myself and kept me from doing anything else stupid. He was in my head. When I told my family about him they thought I was attention seeking and did not help me. I really needed mental help. But in a way Jaaku was my mental help. I self diagnosed this as a split personality. When he was out I would not remember anything of what happened. He came out when I could not handle things anymore. When I was out I could still hear his voice in my head helping me though the day. Well I ran away from home after high school. The cold mean streets was nicer and better than home. So Jaaku soon disappeared since I guess I did not need him any more. I did fight him away because I thought like a Jehovah Witness and thought it evil and thought that all my sexual desires straight or Gay was wrong. Then I witnessed my dad die feeling the same way because he could never heal. (My dads story is the same as mine except with drugs and decades of street life) Well after a year of being on the streets and no more Jaaku, I met the man of my dreams. Fast forward to last week when I was talking with his Aunt. I felt so bad for her But I also felt strange I wanted to tell someone about Jaaku. But I felt they would hate me for it even though they have yet to treat me bad ever! Then I get a short hair cut and feel so liberated. That long hair was like chains. And My husband went wild over that hair! But while we where having "fun time" together Jaaku came out for a moment. It was quick but for me it was scary. I don't know why he came out. It was like since I'm doing things he always wanted to do and things I also wanted to do That its like he had to steal a moment. Yet he has been dead to me for a year! And I later heard his voice for the first time in forever. all he said was "I'm still here for you". IT was creepy! I don't feel like I need him but I thought I would never hear or feel him again! I don't understand any of this BTW. But The bad part is I want to tell someone but i feel I can't. And I just don't understand that part of me and why did that have to come back?! Oh I forgot to mention my husband hates his Aunt Split personality stuff. He is scared from what they did to him and his mom when he was a kid. His Aunt hid the split personality for years and so I don't want to hide because I don't want to come off like her. But I don't want to say anything about Jaaku because I might sound like her. And I'm not like her and neither is Jaaku. I will see where this goes first but i just don't know why this urge to tell at least my husband about this came from. I told him no secrets. He told me about his past sex buddy. I told him about past lovers. But I forgot about this. I already over the last few months changed stories from my past so they would not know. What should I do?
