So I'm out to a few friends and they're all really supportive but I still feel really alone as I've never had any LGBT friends myself. (I can only bare so many boy talks for so long without feeling like an outsider) So I thought to myself "There's no better place to meet gays than gay central" aka Toronto Pride (I know, I know, it's a long time from now) On one hand, the idea really excites me but on the other, it scares the heck outta me. I'm not really a social/outgoing/festive person and I usually hate things like this, so I don't know if this would be any different? I've struggled with anxiety all my life and for nearly half of my life, I've lived with selective mutism so this is seriously out of my comfort zone. I would go with my straight friends but I really feel like this should be something I do on my own, you know? Has anyone else here been to Toronto pride? What should I expect? I don't wanna look like a loner but I don't think I have the guts to initiate anything, so would I even have a good time?
Never been. If you will be mute while there you can go from an observer standpoint and watch. Part of making friends is mutually putting yourself out there. This involes talking. So if you likely wont talk or initiate you will basically be a people watching fly on the wall. For some people that is fun and for others it could be boring. If your straight fridnds are supportive ask one of them to go with you so you can have a shoulder to lean on ans somoen that knows you. Since it is far away you could start volunteering for something lbgt in your area and make friends way before pride and go with them. I suggest doimg this. Also you will likely have a good core group of positive volunteer friends to hang with versus drunk random party people types.
The only thing is that I live in a very conservative and small community, so I have no clue where I would meet other GSM folks. Literally, there is ONE GSA member at my school and she's straight. Otherwise, I've never heard of there being any kind of GSM event anywhere in my city. While my friends are supportive, they aren't exactly gungho to the prospect of going to a pride just because of the hectic nature of the event. Even if they were willing to come, it's still something I'd rather do without them. Everything tells me that it can't possibly go well, but at the same time I really wanna go just because it's my last year before university, I'll finally be 18 and I'll probably be out of the city after this school year. I just kinda want some reassurance, I guess. Because right now, I really have no clue where in pride to go or what to do while there. Like, is there a place for loners like me to socialize? How would I even go about meeting new people? (Mostly I'm intimidated because I'm so young and have the face of a 12yr old)
I've only been to a pride once and from that experience I don't think I'd go alone. There were some creeps. And due to my quiet nature, I generally don't like going to social events alone, because I'm not outgoing and don't meet people. I feel even more alone in a big crowd when I'm by myself. So I think it depends on your personality!
I think Pride is a wonderful event. I've been to them in several cities--although not Toronto unfortunately. I've been to at least one a year for over twenty years--never miss it. I actually went to my first Pride alone and it was wonderful, really opened my eyes to how encompassing and friendly and just fabulous the community is. I mainly just kind of watched and it still filled me with a sense of hope and joy that I could be part of all of it. I will say that I didn't actually meet anyone at the parade. The thing it did do was give me the courage to go to my first gay bar right after the Parade and there I did manage to talk to a couple people. Once people found out it was my first Pride everyone wanted to welcome me and know what I thought about the Parade. I seriously ended up getting introduced to just about everyone in a very large bar. I am actually still very good friends some twenty-odd-years later with several people I met that day. It really was the day that ushered me into the community. So for me going to Pride alone was wonderful! It really was sort of a turning point in my life. Quite possibly that experience is not typical. Part of what made it so wonderful for me was that I really did consciously decide after the parade that I was going to meet some of these amazing people. But, I will say, I honestly feel like it was the experience of the parade and the experience of feeling the community like that that gave me that courage. I've never seen anything like harassment at a Pride event so I wouldn't necessarily worry about that. The thing I will say is that unless you really take the bull by the horns and get out there and meet people you probably won't meet anyone you don't know--I'll just put that out there because I wouldn't want you to be disappointed. The other thing I will say is that when you watch a good Pride parade--and I feel pretty confident that Toronto's will be like this--you get this sense of the enormity and diversity and love and joy of the community (I seriously tear up at least a couple times every time and I've been to a lot of them) and that is wonderful if you feel like you are part of it, even just as an observer. And that really is how I felt and what gave me the courage to go to that bar after and talk with people. On the other hand I could see someone going and watching and not talking to anyone and feeling like there's this amazing thing out there--and they're not part of it. And I think that could be kind of terrible. So I guess I would suggest that you ask yourself which of those reactions you think you would have. I think you should do it, but I don't really know you. Give it some thought--it could be wonderful, but I think only you really know what the experience would be like for you.
