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OCD and SEXUAL themes

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Gamer007, Dec 31, 2014.

  1. Gamer007

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    Hello everyone I love this site read a lot of stuff on here but something has been itching me probably because my OCD... so felt a need to make a post.

    I just had to come on here and talk about this topic because i am diagnosed with anxiety disorder OCD suffer from this chronic illness and so does my brother and some others in my family (anxiety disorders run in families btw) because I noticed a lot of chat about ocd on this forum and it seems a lot of people are confused on the subject and giving false info that just furthers that rabbit hole to more torment and torture for the sufferer. the OCD sufferers that are coming here reaching for help to people that don't really understand the illness. So i thought i would shed some light so people could try and understand.

    First of all a little background on OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) is part of the family of severe anxiety disorders (like tourettes, hoarding, schizophrenia, agoraphobia, social anxiety and so on)OCD is also known as the severe chronic worry/doubting/guilt disease that the sufferers really have no control over its a lot like Diabetes but of the mind. the part of the brain (orbital prefrontal cortex ) that causes worry, panic, fear that everyone experiences even (the non-OCD person)is always turned up to hyperdrive and forces the mind to go to the darkest unthinkable parts of the mind that everyone (non-ocd person) has access too but don't bother to ruminate over something that makes them feel bad but the OCD mind will focus on the horror and terror every second of the day every day of the week and can last for months or even years if the sufferer doesn't not get help it can literately cripple the well-being of someone's life and can lead to suicidal thoughts because they think thats the only way out of the rabbit hole. there are OCD clinics all over the globe and medications and treatments out there.

    everyone, even the (non-OCD) person all have worries, fears, anxieties from time to time its all part of being human. but for the OCD person the way their brain is wired do to the illness those worries become a never ending rollarcoaster that just builds and builds in their heads until nothing feels safe anymore. It's almost like watching the scariest movie of your life on repeat but everytime it repeats it gets scarier and scarier, you just want to turn it off, but there is no off button.

    OCD can take on many themes for the suffer to constantly worry about and it can be onset by the simplest of things or caused by uncontrollable trauma that happened in the sufferer's life.. and just causes a downward spiral of pain.

    There are a lot of common manifestation themes amongst OCD sufferers that have been generally categorized but every person is different in their own case because not one
    person in the universe has had exactly the same life experiences... these categories and labels are not illnesses of their own just common manifestations of OCD and a lot of times sufferers have a mix of these at once or at different times

    Murderer/serial killer OCD: wow don't we all think about how horrible it would be to kill someone? but you have to actually think about it feel how horrible
    it would be right? well the OCD suffer feels serve anxiety when they imagine something like that and then the worry and doubt starts and all of a sudden they are
    afraid they are going to turn into the next serial killer.. could be simply triggered by something someone said... or a scary movie, or leaving a knife out on the table..
    This is the last thing in the world a chronic worrier would want to do but it is the one thing they can't get out of their head because they are wired to worry about
    such a thing. A lot of mothers to new born babies get this that suffer from severe anxiety.

    Checkers/cleaners/perfectionists: checkers and cleaners are the most popular ones because the media has played them out the most over and over in movies and on TV. these people are always constantly checking for certain that things are just right. person who has to checked locked doors constantly could have been triggered by a robbery, a person who has cleaning rituals maybe knows someone who has a disease or seen something that triggered them to clean but nothing ever feels clean enough.
    the perfectionist is always checking around to see that everything is in the right place one crooked picture frame on the wall could drive them bonkers..

    Time/numbers OCD: these people are constantly worried and dwelling on past and future events that should take place a certain way.. obsessed with how old they are and to old to do the things they want to do or to young to do the things they want. time never feels right ever.. they feel like their whole life is a waste of time and they failed at every important moment in through their lives.. never focusing on the NOW

    Death OCD: these people are constantly worried about dying or their family or friends dying.. always counting the days and how they are going to deal with it when it happens

    Social anxiety OCD: people are constantly thinking about how people look at them judge them.. feeling they are ugly not good enough for anyone always trying to please others.. constantly ruminating about past conversations in their head wondering why things were said the way they were.. constantly trying to read others minds and thinking everyone is out get them.

    Health OCD: these OCD people are constantly worried about their health, being they are sick, can't breathe, going blind, have STDs thinking they have every illness known to man.. always thinking they are fat and ugly and never as healthy as the next person...

    Rape OCD: a person who is constantly obsessed that they are going to get rapped or everyone thinks they are a rapist and thinking who around them is aggressive and potential rapists

    Relationship OCD: someone who is constantly obsessed they relationships are cheating on them, lying to them, using them, always checking the person's phone social network stalking, watching where they drive to where they eat on and on... or on the flip side person is obsessed that they are not 100% in love with the person they REALLY want to be in love with.. always ready way to much into conversations they have, watching body gesture how they eat sleep on and on...



    Sexuality OCD:
    these people have it the worst i would say, because if all else goes wrong in the world at least you still have your sex right? wrong..
    constantly worried about sexuality and this could manifest in so many directions, simpler worries could be sexual health, a male afraid he doesn't
    have enough sensitivity in his penis or to small or not climaxing enough or not lasting long enough in bed to make sure their partner is satisfied. Scared they are not
    attractive enough to the person they want to be sexual with, scared of saying the wrong things. scared of not giving off the signals they want or afraid to give the wrong
    signals.. always feeling the person they want to be with wants nothing to do with them.

    Sexuality OCD can get really really severe from a mother ocd suffer who is washing her new born baby and finger slips on private parts and then flight/fight worry thought "OMG i must be a pedophile!!" so now when that mother walks by any school, playground or daycare she is going to get this rush of anxiety of guilt for something she never deserves feeling like she is a pedophile.. and as OCD goes she is constantly going to check to make sure she is not...


    sexual OCD can be wide open too there has been cases of sexualy OCD of animals. a boy who looked a a dog's anus and triggered that he wants to have sex with animals.. when in fact he is not its the doubt/guilt/shame of the illness..


    Now that you are more informed what HELL these people with anxiety disorders/ocd go through, you will understand more next time someone posts. I noticed a LOT of people on this forum bashing any OCD posts from the get-go when someone is talking about "HOCD" and automatically saying "its false, something the religious crazies made up, your in denial and closet case".. this is so so so far from the truth. OCD/anxiety disorders are real and depending on the person experiences it can manifest twist and nag at the person.. The ocd person that didn't get triggered in a sexuality ocd is already in denial and filled with unnecessary guilt/shame about everything important in their life that has nothing to do with sexuality, it could be friends, success, job...but when their sexuality gets in the mix that is the first thing people want to say is "denial" "closeted" and it can really kill and OCDer and send them further down the rabbit whole and its so bullshit especially when these people are thinking suicide is the only way out of the nightmare. if that were true every person that had a thought about killing someone is is denial of being a full on serial killer, every OCD person who is in fear they are a loser they are in denial and actually are a loser. Every OCD person that fears they are going blind are in denial and are going blind. what about the guy who is sexually attracted to women has social anxiety feeling he is not good enough, ugly, and all these bad things because of severe OCD which he is none of those bad things does that make him "gay" because he can't get women? what if one of his friends told him teasing "your gay" and then that manifests in OCD and depression running through his head unwantingly but it set off that fight/flight repsonce and OCD missfires the brain of alertness now he doubts his wanted sexuality and thinks he is what he doesn't want because of OCD.. lot of you would say "ohhh sounds like a closet case to me, he is in denial" its all bullshit.. or how about a guy in prison who got rapped or sexually assaulted is now plagued of fears of being raped for weeks and can't get the episode out of his head because its so unwanted OCD now every man he passes on the street triggers the OCD unwanted sexual feeling anxiety.."but no he is just a closet case, must been in denial his whole life until prison"

    I do understand that there are some people that question their sexuality, hell im bi i think i would know.. and i know these people feel anxiety about their feelings.. be it good feelings or bad feelings all feeling make us feel anxious sometimes, fear or pleasure can cause anxiety.. I know when i see someone I'm attracted to do to social anxiety my fear fight/flight kicks in first thought is "oh how am i going to impress this person" i feel fear...or also the same feeling i get omg this annoying person won't stop talking to me they freak me out.. it causes anxiety too.. fear.. so there are different levels of how feelings make us feel for the good or the bad.. but in all i think the individual person has a right to feel what they want and an individual with ocd who is flooded with doubt and guilt as it is.. is told all these made up labels for why the feel.. like "denial" "repressed" "closeted" it is just torture for them because they believe things that make them feel bad vs things that make them feel good and improve the well being of their lifes.. so try to remember that next time..

    Let me ask any gay man who is %100 percent gay full of confidence and can't imagine being with a woman it disgusts them.. Picture a 1000 pound 60 y/o woman who hasn't taken a batch in months sitting her V right on your face and u tied to the floor.. think about it feel it let is soak in.. think of every catastrophe ever with imagine your life being with her forever. and being cursed with the thoughts for eternity you would think demons are out to get you. Empty your brain of all the things that make you feel happy because you don't have room for them anymore.. let those bad thought build build and build think about it every time you see a fat woman on the street.. your getting the unwanted sexual thoughts right? your feeling anxiety and the anxiety is sexual... you must be denial about your sexuality and you are actually a closeted straight.... thats the same bullshit advice i seen given a lot of times on the subject. if you want to know what it is to feel the rain of OCD that is like the tip of the iceburg... depending on the current theme of OCD you are imagining the worst case scenario that causes you danger because the cortex fight/flight thinking..



    I have OCD sexuality was never a major theme for me i have always been bi... but until my brother got sexually assaulted and got plagued with unwanted sexual thoughts when i know in FACT he is not at all gay. i started reading all these stories about sexuality OCD.. i started getting it myself.. you think "how could he have sexuality ocd he is already bi" well like i said OCD can twist in rage in any shape and form, sexuality became huge severe worry constantly on the mind waaaay more than the non-ocder, i was scared i looked at a child's hair a certain way and got bombarded with thoughts of pedophile stores i read or seen in movies and the anxiety started to make me worry "what if i turned out like that" .. OCD sexuality lached on to animals... older people.. my eyes happened to land on a 80's woman's ass far away for a split
    second and thought "oh no i looked at her ass i didn't try to look but my eyes landed there" thats all it took for OCD to latch.. for the next 4 days i laid in bed feeling completely horrible feeling and not wanting old fat lady's ass from far away in a sunday schoool dress. it manifested into so many other ways.. I just didn't feel myself every second of the day was spent on stupid rumination worrying about stuff that shouldn't matter to my life just waiting for it all to be over, just hoping i can wake up and this nightmare would end. every morning was just a bolt of anxiety and voices of guilt, blame worry would pound at me this is no way to live for anyone... it is the heaviest hardest MIND FUCK disease out there many just want to end it all once it builds up to a degree. i can still continue my story of OCD if you are interested...

    thanks for reading
     
  2. Oh hai

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    I have checker/cleaner/ perfectonist OCD all rolled into one, and serious social anxiety OCD.
     
  3. Jax12

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    I have social anxiety OCD, and I completly agree that people should stop bashing others for using the OCD term. It's a real thing but some how not many people want to believe that it applies to people in this forum.
     
  4. Gamer007

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    hey thank you for taking the time to read, I just wanted to shed some light on how REAL severe anxiety disorders are. and yes it does apply to some people in this forum..
     
    #4 Gamer007, Jan 1, 2015
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  5. waitwhat

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    Agreed. I have social anxiety OCD, or social anxiety disorder as my doc calls it, and it is not some fake ass thing that I made up. I hate when people tell me I'm just shy and to get over it.
     
  6. black-cat

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    I'm currently in the process of trying to get a diagnosis, of what seems to be OCD. Out of this selection I'm in the cleaning one, normally washing myself, though sometimes my possessions too.

    I used to have Social Anxiety, but I seem to have recovered from that all in all, thankfully.
     
  7. joshy the queen

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    Relationship OCD and a little of rape OCD (because of all the shit i hear about raping a femme guy easier than a woman i keep looking at aggresive people and cant help being too scared alone)
     
  8. Tardis221B

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    Yep. OCD is no fun, I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I'm going to try to go to therapy once I get back from study abroad.

    Its thankfully quieted down after 7 long months, but I was paranoid that I was attracted to men for a long, long time (probably even before I realized I was a lesbian) . . .

    Its no fun, especially when you are gay and have been told you like men your entire life, when in fact you don't. That really messes with your head. Becoming paranoid that you have romantic feelings for guys because your anxiety is mistaken for attraction. . . and when you start getting paranoid that you have feelings for your best friend who is a guy . . . yeah, that's not fun.

    Not to mention the anxiety makes it near impossible to develop your natural feelings for women . . . or whom ever you are naturally attracted to.

    I definitely posted on here too often looking for reassurance, that was not a good thing to do. I was just feeding the OCD monster.
     
    #8 Tardis221B, Jan 7, 2015
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  9. Tayb24

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    Thank you for this post. I've seen some of the "Oh you're just in denial" stuff going around for OCD people on here too. I don't blame them, I mean, how are they supposed to know what OCD is like. I have OCD that revolves around me thinking I'm a pedophile, which is my most prevalent theme because it disgusts me more than anything.

    I've also had themes making me think that I wasn't transgender, or that I didn't actually like the person I had a crush on. OCD is fucking terrible, and it sucks. A lot. I'm glad there are other sufferers on here though.

    Something I think that should be made clear though, is that different themes aren't different diseases. We are all suffering from the same chemical imbalance, and the doubt is the real issue, not the theme.

    When someone comes to this site thinking they are gay but admits to having OCD and that it could just be OCD. For the love of god, believe them. Telling them they are in denial is the worst possible thing you could do for them.
     
  10. ocdbrazil

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    I'm a male OCD sufferer, currently in treatment. I would be very thankful if someone could describe me, in details, your attraction to other men. I refer myself to those men above the certain threshold of men you consider attractive or desirable. When you see him, what do you feel? What do you want to do with him? How do you proceed, should you be a single, for instance? Please make your explanation as detailed as possible!