Hey All, So this is something I have been wondering about for the past few days. About a month, I came out of the closet to myself and my mother and have since told my two siblings, my father, my roomate, and my ex-girlfriend who I had only broken up with shortly before. During this time, the idea of dating another guy sounded foreign to me in spite of my attraction to them. Now, however, I am beginning to warm up to the idea but I'm not even sure where to begin meeting people. I am not looking for some hook-up app as I don't really believe that's a practical way to meet someone who is interested in dating. I also have zero experience dating as a gay man and while I'm sure its not ALL that different from dating a woman, I'd be intimidated dating someone with significantly more experience than myself. I know its hard to generalize, so maybe you could let me know how you personally feel about it, but would you be reluctant to date a guy who has no experience dating another man and only has experience dating woman? Also if it's possible, maybe someone could help me out and tell me how I might go about dating? Oh, another small detail is that I don't really have any gay friends and the idea of going to a gay bar or gay club solo kind of scares me.
Hey, I can kind of understand what you are going through. I never dated women before but entering into a gay relationship can be very difficult without any experience or even gay friends as you have said. Let me first congratulate you for coming out of the closet which is a hard first step. This may sound ridiculous but bare with me. For someone just starting out I would study up on gay relationships. Studying something has always made me feel more comfortable and there's lots of information and statistics out there. I searched "How to enter into a gay relationship" "how to tell if a guy likes me for guys" and "How to stop being so shy around guys for gay men". I know it sounds stupid, but it really did help me to become comfortable around gay men when I first came out. Going about dating is a little bit harder... 10% of the population (roughly...) is gay (this includes lesbians) so its not so much about how many fish are in the sea as it is about how many fish are in the lake. A good first step to dating would be to first make some gay friends. Many gay people know other gay people so its like networking with them. It will help you to be comfortable around gay men as well. As far as gay clubs go I would advise caution for someone that's new, especially if you are not yet comfortable around other gay men. This is not true for all gay clubs but many of them are fast-paced and the men there feel that it's ok for physical contact. If you are comfortable around gay men it still might help to go with a group of friends as there are a lot of cliques at the bar. Believe me, going to a gay bar alone for the first time can be VERY intimidating and overwhelming. As far as gay dating goes you might want to consider gay dating sites. DATING SITES, not hook-up sites. There is a difference. I was a bit skeptical too but its worth a look. Do your homework and research the best gay dating sites for actually finding someone to date. As long as you are upfront about who you are, what you are looking for, and that you are new to day dating and wanting to take things kind of slow then you will scare away most of the ones looking for hook-ups. Hope this helps. I'm not the most experienced but if you have any other questions I can try to answer them or maybe someone else with more experience can on empty-closets.
my advice would be to go to a LGBT event or community gathering to get to know yourself more and also maybe find some friends that are also like yourself.and remember just relax be yourself and take it slow. you don't want to rush into things too quickly and not be prepared for it
