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Not sure where to post this...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by RushfordJr, Jan 4, 2015.

  1. RushfordJr

    Regular Member

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    Hi everyone, I'm not really sure where to post this but I'll make a post here since it might be more general; I'm not sure. I've had a look around this site and been here in the past to seek advice, so I thought I'd make an account and seek some myself.

    I'm 24 years old, my name is Ryan and I'm gay. I've been speaking to and dating a 23 year old lad for at least 4-5 months now. I'm strongly in love with this guy and I know he feels exactly the same. I cannot imagine my life without him right now and I'm going through an extremely hard time with this situation.

    He has undetectable HIV in his blood with good CD4 lvls and a extremely low viral count for the amount of virus in his blood, also taking his 1 a day medication. We have always been protected in sexual encounters from oral to anal sex, where we've both been receptive to each other. I know his entire situation of how he contracted and I know his complete record as to date and he also told me before we ever had sex.

    For the time being things were going GREAT and we've been spending each day together, falling deeper in love. We planned on telling my parents together, but due to a different circumstance they found out through a person who my boyfriend used to date and now they have went insane. They want me to stop seeing him, my mother is extremely worried about the whole situation and it's really taken it's toll on her just now.

    I don't feel I can ever get through to them about any of this, or how much I love him. It seems with any decision made someone is going to get hurt. I wish I could make them understand, she keeps saying feels like she will have lost her son and everything else on the agenda.

    Is there anyone who has been in a similar situation, or can offer any advice?

    Anything would be great.

    Ryan.

    <3
     
    #1 RushfordJr, Jan 4, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2015
  2. PatrickUK

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    Hi Ryan

    First of all, welcome to EmptyClosets. It's good to know that you have found the site useful in the past and have decided to join.

    It sounds like you have a great relationship that is really going places, so it's sad to hear about your parents objections. Whilst it's understandable that they should be worried, it's still bad that they are so against you seeing each other.

    You can both do your best to reassure your parents, but it might be better coming from a reliable and much trusted source like the Terrence Higgins Trust: Our charity | Terrence Higgins Trust

    The THT website is excellent and includes full and comprehensive information on HIV in the UK. The trust also has regional offices in Scotland. Maybe your parents would be more reassured if they could speak to Terrence Higgins Trust and receive answers to their questions and concerns. What do you think?

    It may help if you both speak to THT for support and guidance on dealing with family members first.

    Hope this helps.
     
  3. RushfordJr

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    Hi and thanks for the reply!

    We really are in such a good place besides all that is going on with my family. I love him so much and I know he feels the same, it's hard for us to be apart from each other. Tonight I probably won't see him because of the situation and it's killing me.

    The horrible thing is, he has never met my parents and this is when we had both planned to tell them together. Instead one of his ex-boyfriends that found out about his situation told a family member of mine which was then passed to my mother and father who have now made instant assumptions about him, which makes this so much more difficult.

    Thank you for the info so far, I will have a look at this right now. We're both trying to figure out a situation where he and I can meet my mother and try to explain our feelings to her and about his situation a bit more, I hope this info helps along the way!

    Thanks again and also for the warm welcome!
     
  4. EpicConfusion

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    Sorry to hear that :/ I think yoj should bring him to meet your parents and see how that goes. They might be able to see what a wonderful man he is and change their minds. It may go horribly, but at least you tried I suppose. Don't let him go just because they object. It sounds like you really love eachother and you have a good thing going.