The amount of walls my parents build so that they DON'T have to take responsibilities is ridiculous, and someone needs to tell them the damn truth soon. Here's some : Mum: "I've had a horrible childhood" "I'm stressed" "You give me no respect" Dad : "My heritage made me the person I am" "This isn't how people in Nigeria act" "You make me do this" Call me cold, but I think the moment you give excuses for your actions, that's the moment you stop caring about the people affected by them. My sister has just been told some things that my older brother ( the one who I'm not aloud to speak to) had said, there was some crying from my sister ( the one who asked me if I can keep a secret) and my older sister ( The person I'm closest to in my family) said that Mum and Dad said they think Naomi's depressed. Not only would they be wrong, they're in no position to be telling anyone about their mental health.My sister said that my Mother did not need to tell her what was said, and my Mum told her to shut the fuck up. I also figured out the only reason my parents think I'm bratty and disrespectful is because I don't think like they do, and I'm not afraid to tell them the truth. Charelle also said not once have my parents in the last decade sat down, thought about their kids and thought ( was this my fault?" How can I tell them this?
Maybe you can't ZenMusic. If your parents are content to find excuses to absolve themselves of responsibility, anything you say will be ignored or used to confirm their opinion that you are bratty and disrespectful. Sometimes we have to accept that people will not listen to reason and just maintain a dignified silence. It's not easy, especially when we consider something unjust or plain wrong, but is there really any mileage in commenting further? Keeping quiet does not, in any way, demonstrate agreement or acceptance of intolerant ideas, but it does protect you for further hostility. I know it's a struggle for you and very depressing at times, but sometimes we need to decide which battles are worth fighting and which aren't.
I agree The chances are they won't listen, they are in denial about how they are behaving and its effects. You could keep fighting but what kind of effect will that have on you and your health in the long term? If ignoring them helps you get on top of your stress what is more important?
I suppose. I'm just sick of their kids always getting the blame everytime they can't work something out.
It's often easier to blame others than it is to look at ourselves. Unfortunately, your parents don't seem willing or able to ask themselves why they are at odds with all of their children.
I've been in the same situation (parental wise) where my Father would never face up and accept what he's done in the past. Like yourself to get on top of the stress, I would just ignore him. Shortly after he was kicked out of the house my Mother and I lived in, I just chose to blank him out of my life and deal with him that way. In the end, he eventually did see that he was wrong in many ways, and although he hasn't apologized as much as he should have, steps are being made. Hope this helped at least a lil.
My Dad relayed what happened yesterday with Naomi, and said their only problem is that Naomi did not tell them she was moving out into Charelle's home and that she had been packing bags, and that Mum was becoming more and more frustrated with Naomi's inability to do Chores around the house. My Dad thinks because she failed her exams at University and was promptly kicked out, which is why she locked herself in her room for 80% of the day. But the real reason seems to be to protect herself from my parent's poisonous influence. My Dad seems to think Naomi was crying at what my Mum said about my older brother after Charelle had this conversation with my Mother in confidence. Not only do I not believe this because my Dad has no proof of this, and regardless of how my mother acquired the information, she is the one who said that Nigel hated Naomi and it was completely uneccessary. My father then "said" to Naomi ( I used speech marks because I asked if these were his exact words and Naomi's exact reaction, and he could not answer the former, which was suspicious.) That he doesn't think moving out is the right thing to do right now, and that this is when she called the police as she felt threatened. Once again, he went on to lay blame at my siblings' feet. He said that Naomi and Charelle had been planning this for a while, as there were packed bags waiting in her room. I don't think he went on to describe Charelle's part in this, however.
