Hi, this is my first post. So, bear with me. I recently met a man, and we share 3 really good dates together. He just got out of a long relationship and is approching this carefully -which I can appreciate. My problem is the following: everytime I meet a new man that I like, I find it very difficult to control my nerves and to control my brain. I overthink everything. If he stops texting as he usually does, I worry. Etc. etc. Also, I tend to think way too far ahead as well. Thinking about things that are not even close to being the reality. Is there any advice out there? What can I do to be comfortable. I really like this guy, and he knows this. And, it seems he likes me too. Thanks.
Hi welcome to EC !! The fact that you have some aspects of yourself that you think are not desirable - does not mean he feels the same, or that he even notices. And if you have all those things going on in your head then you can just "notice them" and start to train yourself to take things one day at a time. Not to overthink, and not to catastrophes. One. day. at. a. time.!
That seems to be the consensus, bingostring. One day at a time. Of course, easier said than done. Thanks.
Hi, and welcome And I can understand the over thinking and fear of judgement/ fear of being unloveable. But you have to remember that you(we all) can and tend to have warped perceptions of ourselves, and in turn warped perspectives of what others think of us. My advice for you would be to try journaling a bit, I find it immensely useful. Start with worrying about him not responding to your text and keep asking yourself "why?" Why do you worry if he stops texting you? and then why that, ect, ect. It takes a lot of time to work through your problems in this way, and you have to be patient and willing to be open with yourself about past hurts and willing to move on from them. But its possible, and sometimes even just realizing the root of a problem can be greatly beneficial. Best of luck, and I hope things work out for you two!
