Hey guys. In 2014, around July my father was made redundant for the second time in a year. I decided to be a little less of a burden for them, I was looking around for forums and sites for LGBT+ people, and then I found EC. It's been about 6 months, and to this day he still hasn't got a job. Life's pretty shit at the moment, my mum (I'm fairly certain) is depressed, my sister suffers from severe anxiety. I had to deal with a whole year of consistent sexual harassment through school, along with bullying. I feel as though I've been nothing but a burden for them. I feel like I've worried them too much with my gender stuff along with my depression, having to pay for my school taxes, having to take me to psych appointments every wednesday, having to take me to the gender diversity clinic, my birthday expenses along with christmas and having to spend extra money just to feed me. I haven't been able to get a job either, not even just to help out. I feel so useless. I don't know what to do anymore, I hate seeing my mum cry. I hate being a burden. I just want it all to stop, I'm so fucking sick of it. It feels like my family pulled the short straw in life. It doesn't look like this year will be any better.
Im sorry that you feel this way, i have felt like this also with my family but you are never/can never be a burden on people that love you, just remember that, if you ever wanna talk im here for you dude
hmmm, i can understand your feelings but you are not directly responsible for your family's troubles dude and you shouldnt feel guilty over it, sometimes people have to realize that things are out of their control, have your parents thought of a loan from relatives or unfortunately, the state?
We've had our grandparents offer us money. My parents are too proud to accept anything from relatives... But my dad has been having tonnes of problems with an organisation for the DOLE. It's almost as if the world doesn't want us to have a bit of help.
You shouldnt feel like a burden *hugs* for any true friends or family, there wouldn't be anything more important to them then the ones they love. I get where you're coming from though, honestly my current situation is pretty similar. I'd say the best thing you can do for now is just, to take life one day at a time, and keep an eye out for new opprotunities and ways to help out, but, dont worry about it too much at the same time. You cant help it if nothing's available, so don't be so hard on yourself about something that's not your fault at all with everything else you're going through, the last thing you need is to feel useless or responsible for this. Just, try your best to keep a positive, but realistic outlook on things, and if that doesnt work out, you've always got us, to share your feelings with or vent or anything else. Remember, alot can change in a year, and just because things aren't great at the moment, that doesn't mean they'll always be that way
Thanks Kageshiro, just reading this now and it made me tear up. I've been trying a whole lot and taking a whole lot of energy out of myself just to be less bitter towards life. I don't really know how to respond other than just saying thanks. I seriously appreciate it. (*hug*)
Aww (*hug*) well, remember you dont always have to deal with it all on your own, you'll always have others who are there to help out, recharge your energy when it's exhausted and provide a shoulder to lean on if you need and etc ^_^
Hey, you are not your parents keepers. Do not take the burdens of the family all on your own shoulders. They had you, and kept you, and it's their responsibility to take care of you. My adopted son came from a truly broken home, mother on crack, father in jail. You are having tough times, and it's a test of your mettle how you approach things. Be there for your mom and dad, comfort, really talk to her about the problems your family is facing. Do as much as you can around the house to reduce expenses, and help out. If you are into graphic design, or programming there are a lot of freelance sites out there to find quick jobs. Stop thinking of yourself as a burden. And don't think you can solve your families problems by getting yourself out of the picture. If anything I'd talk to your grandparents into slipping you the help you need on the side maybe? That would probably upset your parents a great deal. You sound like you are a sweet kid, don't let these troubles burden you to the point you are depressed. This to shall pass.
Thanks kindy14. It's the second time this has happened and I'm really starting to lose it. I've been pushing myself on and on just to keep functioning properly for the past 6 months. I've got school soon too, I don't know if I can really handle being there at all. Thanks for the advice on quick jobs too, surprisingly graphic design is the only option I'm actually interested in. I'm doing a whole lot better than when this happened last time, I was suicidal as all hell, but this was when I was at my worst. I wasn't turning up to school at all, but now I'm just dealing with it. I have lessened my burden just by doing that, but sometimes I feel like it's not enough.
Don't give up hope, you are a really cute, and I'd hate to see the world without you in it. Couple things that might help from other threads I contributed to today. The biggest thing I've healed within myself is that nasty voice in my head yelling at me that I'm a failure. That voice was my inner critic, and I was listening and believing everything it said. Only now do I find out that the "inner critic" isn't really me, it's a subconscious part of me that I can control and tell to F off https://www.creativelive.com/design << FREE Teach yo'self: A guide to online graphic design education << FREE Just be dedicated to your passion, learn as much as you can, and do as much design as you can. You have a journey of a thousand miles that you are on. One step at a time is how you move forward. Never give up hope. If I as a 50 year old can completely take my life apart and start over, you are capable of so much more looking forward.
