I feel disappointed in myself for not being able to leave my parents yet

I can understand feeling like a failure. I'm turning 26 soon and living with my dad. My part-time job doesn't pay well enough for me live on my own. I'm trying to find full time work so I can move out and be who I am but it isn't working out so well. Then I find out a family member my age is having another kid with his wife. It makes me feel worthless that his life is on track, or at least seems to be, and I'm at home like I'm still a kid myself. The only thing I can think to do is keep trying. But no matter how often I keep pushing that :***: rock called life up the hill it just rolls back down again.

 

Stocking you're not a failure. Think about it you're whole life your mother has done all these bad things to you, she loves to fight cause thats all she can do. She's made your like 1000 times harder. She puts herself before you which is uncalled for and she's failed as a mom. Im so sorry shes making u watch her stuff. And im also sorry u can't leave due to the weather. I hope u can get out of that hell hole soon. Im so sorry stocking (*hug*) oh and im 100% sure it wont take you 8 years to find a new job .

 

Ansoloutley stocking dont let your mother get to you and hold your head up high (*hug*)

 

Your mother is a failure as a parent.

It might be difficult to do, but when you start to feel like she's dragging you down you have to remind yourself that it's not you that's the problem. I know it's hard to fight it because when someone is like that they can start to twist your view of yourself, it's almost like brainwashing in a way. The only way to fight it is to get into the habit of reassuring yourself, remind yourself that the things your mother says are due to the way her mind works and are not a reflection of who you really are. Bide your time until you can get away from there and start living. It's frustrating that you've had a set-back, but the bad weather won't last forever, it'll be difficult for the time being but keep looking ahead, won't be long now. (*hug*)

 

You're NOT a failure, stocking! You're good to others, your valuable insights have helped many people here on the forum and seriously, your posts made me laugh many many times. :lol: That's more than your mom's done in her whole life. I know it's hard not to get affected by all that poison she's full of but don't let her get to you. There's only one thing important right now and it's you get out of that place, out of her reach. You can do it. (*hug*)

 

Hey Stocking, you're not a failure, you don't control the weather! I know it's hard not to let a parent's harsh words get to you, but soon you will be out of there. Your mom is in heavy denial, among other things, about you moving out. Try to remember the way she behaves is far more about *her* than it is about *you.*

As for having to stay at the house to watch their stuff... are you all packed up yet? If not, this is optimum packing time!

 

Your mother is a real piece of work, I'm sorry you have had to deal with her for so long, Stocking. I think you're going to feel a whole lot better once you move out and get away from her hateful comments and behavior. No mother should treat her child the way she treats you. Once you move out you'll not only be away from her but you'll be building up your own independence, which I think will help build your confidence up, too. Hang in there!

 

Stocking everything these awesome people are saying is 100% true you're not a failure your mother is. You're one of the nicest people on EC and you're always kind to others and I hope things get much easier for u very soon. (*hug*)

 

You have to take care of yourself and save money before moving and even at 26 you need to make sure you can find a stable job that can pay the bills. I can understand feeling like a failure but you have to crawl before you walk. Take little steps like first finding a job and just explain to them that you want to make your own money since obviously they don't get the moving out idea. Once you find a job save as much as possible for when you move because you're going to need help as well as rent groceries furniture etc.

 

You're not a failure Stocking, your mother is. A person like her honestly has no right to call herself a mother or be called a mother by anyone else. Don't blame yourself for the situation you are in. You are doing the best you can, and that is all you can do. You can't let the things she says or the things she tells her friends and others, get to you. Anyone who knows you, will obviously realize that she is lying, and people who side with her are not worth your time. Trying to be rational and explaining the truth to ignorant people will only be a waste of your time, and despite all the terrible things she does to you and that you are faced with, there are still good and understanding people who love and care about you. She tries to belittle you and to get you to feel sorry for her, but you shouldn't. She's a bully and a very poisonous person, but she is weak on the inside, just like all bullies are. They lie, cheat, scare, threaten, manipulate, and even harm people to get them to do what they want. I can't tell you what to do, but she doesn't deserve your help. For every inch you give her, she will take a mile. I was in a situation much like yours before, only a bit worse than what you are going through now, not that what you are going through is any walk in the park or by any means not terrible and hellish. I understand how difficult things can be though, and the world can seem like it's closing in on you. You can't give up though, and you can't fall for her lies or the lies of anyone else. This isn't your fault, and you are not a failure. Just keep your eyes on the prize, and do what you can, when you can. Once you leave, I strongly suggest cutting off all contact with her, because people like that will only drag you down into your own personal hell. You are smart though, and strong as well. I know that you can get through this and anything else that comes your way. You just have to stay strong and never give up. In the end, even if it's hard to believe sometimes, it will be worth it. Good luck, Stocking. (*hug*)

 

You are a boss...Your only a failure if you just want to live off of others and have no desire to support yourself and start your own life..you sound like you just want to help your parents don't worry you will find your way

 

Well good luck moving is scary but now that u moved once u settle in it'll get better.

 

It takes some longer than others from my understanding. You weren't a failure.

But good luck on your own!