It has been almost 2 years that i'm struggling my everyday life... I am depressed, sad, can't think of nothing. I don't wanna eat, sleep, study, I can't rest my own self. A part of my thinking is from my past, what I've been thru a lot of stuff, during my childhood and teen ages, and I can't stop thinking about it... I've left a lot of stuff behind because I thought i'd be happy. I wish I could make that right but I can't. Almost 2 years ago, I left everything I loved behind, because I thought i'd be happy, I thought i'd find a life, but I was wrong... I began to study on another country with my mother, but this is just a piece of all movings that happened in my life When I started my life all over again, I had the hope, I had the motivation to proceed everyday and I still thought it was worth. I might have :***: up a bit my life in here, and I still don't know why I did what I did, but one thing I know, is that Denmark is not a country for me I got to go on a new class (College)as it was, It continues to be a big struggle for me. I came from an open country with friendly people, people that really "give a value" to you, let's say a different society. I can't adopt my self in here, I don't have motivation and spirit anymore to continue living. And being in a country you don't want to is really :bang: my friendships in here are the only reason why I haven't left everything behind, cause don't want to leave friends behind again But this is just some of the problems I have in my head.... but I can't solve none of them, I'm too weak for this again Thus when you discover a real friendship, a real friend that you consider as someone special, but you end up in love with that person... it's really a pain in the heart. Having all this problems in my head and then feeling love and stuff, all of this I just want to scream STOP. I just can't believe I feel love with my best friend, one of the only person's who talk with me, one of the only that gives value to me... plus the thing is, he is str8 according to his saying but i doubt... so this is gr8..... -.- Guys... I really need help... I'm too confused, I don't know what to do... I can't express what I think, what I feel, I can't share my pain... i'm afraid I've been in a Psychologist, Psychiatrist and they couldn't help... I've talk with people I trust about my past, into getting help and they couldn't help.... but the relief of all, is that I admitted to my best friend who I am, and gladly we still strong friends. I risked our friendship, and It ended good, cause I'd never have enough strength to loose one I don't know what to do..... guys I know this might be hard to understand, but I don't see another way to express it
Maybe you need a bit more time to get a feeling for what rings right for you... sometimes we know deep inside... sometimes it might take a bit more time... a possibility would be some kind of list, with pros and cons... I would imagine denmark is a country where it might take some time to get to know people... but if you know them, they might be more comitted... you might talk about all of this with your counselor...
I'm really pleased you stopped to create this thread Migz. You have been an EC member since April, but this is only your second posting on the forum, according to your profile. It's such a shame that you have been struggling with these depressed feelings when we'd have gladly offered support and a listening ear. I found these comments interesting Migz because you did actually manage to share some of the pain in your posting and you did mention a number of issues that may be responsible for bringing you down to this dark place. Maybe it just feels so overwhelming and messy that you can't get a handle on your feelings, right now? Even so, amid the confusion, you have identified some things that may be relevant -- you just need an outlet, so you can explore and try to understand it all better. It seems like there are many unresolved issues from your past - from childhood, and it's so important that you get to grips with whatever these issues are. Childhood experience can be influence our path much later in life, so if things were wrong during those years it can stunt our emotional development much later. I notice you have seen a psychaitrist and a psychologist and it didn't help, but I'm wondering if they were appropriate to your needs Migz. Sometimes, it's important to seek out a therapist with expertise in certain areas if we are to make any progress. For example, not all therapists are suitably qualified in dealing with issues relating to childhood abuse. I have no idea if that was an issue for you, but don't settle on one therapist. If you are not making progress, try someone else who has the skills and expertise to help you. If the relationship with your therapist is not right, or they don't have enough experience, you will not see a way forward. You have a good friend/s and that counts for a lot when you are depressed. Friends are important in helping us through the dark days of depression, so stay connected and lean on them when your motivation is low. I'd also encourage you to come back here and tell us more, when you need an outlet. Although we are not therapists, we can offer a safe and precious place to offload. You've already done it a little bit, so why not try some more. Don't be an accomplice to your depression Migz - talk about it and keep talking.
