Is that you in the avatar? Who are these "people" anyway and does their opinion really count for shit?
Opinions on looks can vary highly from person to person. I personally do not particularly like you, but that is not related to your looks, and instead to what you are trying to achieve with this thread. It is important for you to like yourself, other peoples opinions of you are irrelevant, regardless of what they are. Consider that these people might be envious of you and therefore try to put you down.
There is a very interesting psychoanalytical theory by Jacques Lacan called The Gaze. The idea is a person looses some autonomy when they realize others can see them as a physical object. This is predominately studied in the context of feminist theory but I think it is also an issue in gay male society. It is based on an inequality that is created by a patriarchal order that institutionalizes the belief, over time, that a certain ordering of worthiness among individuals is "normal' in society. A profound desire to fit into that order in a positive way inspires the object - the one potentially seen as beautiful - to take on the role of seeing themselves through the eyes of the subject - the one looking at the beautiful object and thereby validating it. In essence, confirmation from the subject in the mind of the object that they are worthy of being gazed upon, reconnects the object with the original feeling of autonomy that was lost when they realized that they were an object. The feeling is fleeting, however, and has to be reinforced by repeated affirmation by the subject(s). Oh, and to answer your question, yes, you are a hottie. :icon_wink
Bingo. If that is you in your avatar, I'd say you have nothing to worry about. You look healthy and aren't hideous, so don't be so hard on yourself. To elaborate on some of what Rikudou said, it is very true that many folks will put you down, especially if they themselves have low self-esteem. It's easier to bring others down with you, than to pick yourself up, and especially to pull others up with you. So, why go through all that hard work and possible pain and frustration, when you can just bring people down with you, so that everybody suffers. It's totally asinine and immature, but that is what tends to happen. Also, speaking as a bully in recovery former bully, there is a certain power play move to targeting the attractive/happy/successful individuals. If you can break them, bring them down, then everybody else who feels less attractive, feels less happy, and feels less successful, are kept in their place, because, why not? If so and so cannot believe themselves attractive, why should they? If so and so cannot be happy, why should they? If so and so cannot be successful, why should they? What hope do they have? It's a petty and terrible tactic, but it is something that served me well, whenever I wanted to take control of a situation or flock of people. I've since learned not to do that, and I know the reasons why, but having walked that path, I can provide you with this little bit of insight. Don't allow yourself to feel anyway that you don't want to, because you will not only feel miserable, you will also be an extension of somebody else's life -- you'll be their puppet, basically. To bring it to a conclusion: You are the ultimate master of your life. You may not have the power to stop world hunger, but you can keep your chin up. You may not have the power to stop unnecessary bloodshed, but you can help another. You may not have the power to stop death from claiming others, but you can be an example to many. It's normal to have moments of doubt or bouts of pain, but these will do nothing if you don't learn why they cripple you, and you will gain nothing if you don't rise up. Love yourself, and soon others will start coming to you, because they'll want that very same love. That is how you surround yourself with good people, by being what the world needs and not what the world tries to mold you into.
