Can you really live your life on "it'll happrn when you least expect it"?

"Doing something about it" isn't a guarantee that you'll find 'it'. It just increases your odds.

I agree that the "it'll happen when you least expect it" phrase is completely unhelpful, but it is a fact and we just need to deal with it.

 

well as a single person who has been single for the longest time. i do believe it will happen when you least expect it.

i was ill and wasnt looking for a relationship and didnt really want one due to my illness but then i met a girl and fell in love and it was unexpected. i didnt want to fall in love with her cuz i was ill circumstances werent the best but it just happened.

so yeah. i believe in it.

think im the only one though.

 

I don't think it can or should be the guiding principle of anyone's life.
Because, in the end, that isn't the intent of the line.

The way I see it: it's mainly meant to give hope and encouragement. It means: "Don't see a lack of relationship as a failure", and "Don't make finding a relationship your sole overriding goal in life". And "As long as you're open for things to happen, there's a chance something will happen!"

However, it is very much NOT some kind of cryptic hint on how to find a partner. It isn't a magical formula or secret technique.
I have heard of people going out and then complaining: "I tried as hard as I could not to care and yet I'm still single!". Or even "I didn't go out at all, and played playstation all night. That's when I'd least expect a boyfriend to come along and still I failed to find one!"




In the end, your best bet is to keep putting yourself out there. Find things to do where you have fun (first and foremost), and where you meet like-minded people. That doesn't mean just gay bars or clubs or dating places. It means hobbies, activities, volunteer work, etc. etc.
Nothing wrong with keeping your eyes open or making a move if you find someone who could be date material.
And it's definitely OK to sometimes actively want a relationship.

But: just remind yourself that there is no deadline, and there is no failure. you may not come home with a relationship on any given night, but if you had fun and met more people along the way, you increased your odds Eventally odds have a way of catching up with you. Just make sure it never becomes a joyless search for a relationship no matter the cost.

 

I believe it is truth, but it doesn't mean you have to sit in your room and wait for it. You have to live your life fully, and I am sure you will discover that special person.

 

It's tough to say.

If you're legitimately not trying to find anyone and not even trying to feel around and test your options I really don't see how it could work that way.

 

I think if you are looking at the phrase as guidance rather than consolation than a much more productive version would be: "It'll happen when you least need it to." From both my own experience and what I have observed that comes closer to the truth of it--and unlike the other one it's something you can actually work towards. Sitting around and waiting for it might work, running around looking for it might work (although I think it's not nearly as effective as people think it is). On the other hand, if you build a fulfilling life full of joy and love on your own, wonderful people will fairly beat down your door to be part of it--why wouldn't they?