Bisexual and Having the Woman in My Life Accept It?

Hi. I wanted to share a little about me. Maybe introduce myself by describing who I am and my experiences and get some advice from others who have been or are in a similar situation.

I'm in my early 40's. I became aware of my bisexuality in my early 30's. I'm closeted. Only an ex-girlfriend of mine knows. My interest in men isn't romantic at all. It's purely sexual and limited at that. About 10 years ago while between relationships I decided to find some avenue to satisfy my curiosity. Being closeted I didn't have many options nor knew anyone who was bisexual or even gay for that matter. I checked out a dating site for gay men in my home town and began talking with a guy a few years younger than me. I explained my situation which was (and, in fact, still is). I'm interested in women romantically and sexually but have what amounts to more than a curiosity to have a sexual experience with a man. He was understanding and willing. It was a chance. It all felt like such a risk at the time. I was scared but excited. We continued talking for a few weeks until one night after a few drinks I asked him to come over. I was really nervous but excited. He came in the house. It was good that I had a few drinks because it was about all that kept me from shaking. After sharing a brief introduction I somehow became very forward. He was patient with me and allowed me to experience it the way I wanted to experience it. I was actually doing what I had in my mind for quite awhile and the taboo of it heightened the experience. I'll never forget it. Words can't describe how I felt. It was amazing and everything I thought it would be. I had experienced having a guy in my mouth (sorry to be crude). We moved from the couch to my bedroom. About a 1/2 hour later the experience was over and he left. We continue to get together maybe once a month. Sometimes more. I became more comfortable over time and experienced more but have found that my sexual interest in men is pretty much just oral. If there's a spectrum I'd say I'm a 4 or a 5 on a scale of 10 I guess. I don't know. I've learned though that I'm generally turned off by the smell of a man. It's something that reinforced that there was no interest beyond sex for me. Anyway, It's been close to 10 years and thankfully he still remains a sexual constant in my life. I haven't been with any other guy but I'm starting to have an interest in experiencing someone else.

Right now I'm single but want to start dating women again. However I think I'll always want to be able to have a guy I can get together with every so often. I want the next woman I have a relationship with to know from the get go. I want the woman who will be a part of my life to accept it without hesitation and better yet to encourage it. I've been discouraged though. The few that I've connected with who I've let know up front have quickly dropped interest in me. One hasn't and she's contemplating accepting it. It's not something she anticipated nor was looking for but in her words she wants to be with me.

So I guess my question is are there women out there who are OK with it and if so where are they? My thinking was that I'd be better off pursuing a woman who is also bisexual and who has the same idea of a long term relationship where she can maintain a sexual relationship with a woman in her life. I'm not sure how to find someone like that or how I could even attempt to go about it given that I want to remain closeted. If anyone has any advice I'm all ears