1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How to be brave and finally seek help?..

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by MyLittleWorld, Jan 14, 2015.

  1. MyLittleWorld

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    1,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brno, Czech Republic
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm afraid I might have bipolar disorder, and I know I need to see a psychiatrist, but I am scared. Because of my symptoms I have problems with my attendance at school, I lose friends, I can't study, I can't sleep even when I am terribly tired, I have self-harm problems, and tons of other stuff that won't let me live my life.

    Now, I want to see a doctor, but as I said, I am terrified. I don't want to be in the hospital, because I have to go to school... and like my parents said, if I wind up in a mental hospital, I can say bye bye to my future, no university, no college, because no one would want me with such 'back story'. I hate this mental health stigma, but unfortunately... I am suffering silently, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin my life, but I have to get medication to get better, because it's getting worse...

    I really need some advice about it? I am totally lost...
     
  2. bingostring

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Messages:
    2,083
    Likes Received:
    113
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hold on.. There's no saying anyone will put you in hospital. What you might get is some really useful support and maybe medication.

    So it might just give you the help you need to carry on and get through school ok.. And sort out the sleep issues too

    If it's 'inevitable' then why not talk to your doctor sooner rather than later?
     
    #2 bingostring, Jan 14, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2015
  3. MyLittleWorld

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    1,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brno, Czech Republic
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, that's the problem, I've been told that hospital is the only way. At least that's what my parents told me, and they ignore my stuggles and close their eyes and believe I'm ok.

    And, I am afraid that they will offer me a psychologist, and they never helped me.
     
  4. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2014
    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indianapolis, IN
    Gender:
    Male
    Unless you are a danger to yourself or others, there's no reason you should be going to a mental health facility (in the US.)

    As far as psychologists and therapy are concerned, sometimes it takes a while, different types of therapy, medication, adjusting the medication, and a whole lot of talking and self-discovery. And a whole lot of painful honesty.

    The stigma of having been through mental health counseling shouldn't concern you. You will be able to deal with that, far easier once through the process. And living a good, healthy life should be your only concern at this point.

    In 30 years, the only time a question has come up about therapy, and mental institutions, was about getting a background check and bonded. People don't look at me odd when the subject comes up.
     
  5. Dryad

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2013
    Messages:
    772
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Firstly, hold on, don't panic, one thing at a time.

    Why is it so inevitable to go to a hospital, when there are separate doctors' offices?
    And, even if you go to the hospital, why is this so bad? You'll just walk in a doctor's office, as you do when you have any other physical problem, and explain the situation. Well, ok, it might be more stressful because you'll have to have a more "personal" conversation about your feelings and thoughts, but the fact that it will be in a hospital makes no difference.

    If you go to the hospital, nobody's saying that you will stay inside. Nowadays people can most of the times be treated with meds and therapy while living at their place. Stop thinking of it like we are in 1800 and you're gonna live in an asylum. Plus, medical history is confidential. In my country many guys pretend to have psychological conditions just to avoid obligatory military service, as they know they'll have no issue getting hired or studying later on because of that. Many successful people have bipolar and related disorders, for example Stephen Fry or Catherine Jeta-Jones.
     
  6. MyLittleWorld

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    1,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brno, Czech Republic
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm afraid they won't believe me, or will think I am just some pill seeking junkie...

    I know it might be stupid to think like that, but I live in such place that mental health is a mystery. Here, I might be seen as crazy person who really needs to be in the hospital all the time , because I am useless.
     
  7. bingostring

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Messages:
    2,083
    Likes Received:
    113
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi As Kindy14 said

    "Unless you are a danger to yourself or others, there's no reason you should be going to a mental health facility"

    If it is just depression related there is every chance things can be done for you just from a few doctors visits and perhaps a referral to a psychologist/psychiatrist. All very normal and straightforward and handled completely confidentially… you have nothing to lose and there is no point continuing suffering as you described in your original post (*hug*)

    They have to listen to you now .. and believe you - you are 18 after all and an adult !!
     
  8. ANewDawn

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2014
    Messages:
    311
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Florida
    Just to reiterate what everyone else has said, you have no reason to believe you'll be hospitalized unless you look your doctor in the eye and tell him you're going to kill yourself. Your parents are probably just telling you that to scare you out of getting treatment. Or they could genuinely be ignorant and believe there's a stigma. But we're in 2015 - at least 1/5 of the adult population in this country takes some sort of psychiatric medicine and most of them have gone to college and have jobs. And people see psychologists for all kinds of reasons, no one in this century will judge you for it. As for finding a therapist, it can take a few tries but there's nothing better than having someone you can be completely honest with. And a psychiatrist treats people with mental disorders for a living - they will definitely know you're telling the truth and be able to help you. When I told my parents I needed to see a therapist they agreed right away bec they knew I was self harming. I told my friends I was scared of the stigma and most of them responded that they'd seen a therapist at some point in there lives too. I was lucky to find the right therapist pretty easily wherever I was living at the time and I cannot imagine I would still be alive if I never spoke to anyone. And I've been on medication for yrs and have never been discriminated or judged because of it. So be brave and take care of yourself bec regardless of how anyone else feels you are the one who has to live your life every day.(*hug*)
     
  9. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2014
    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indianapolis, IN
    Gender:
    Male
    If you have no history of seeking medication, they wont think that.

    And psychiatrist is there to draw out the truth from within you. They ought to be non-judgmental, and accept what you say about how you feel at face value.

    And if it's not to prying, what country/state do you live in?
     
  10. MyLittleWorld

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    1,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brno, Czech Republic
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I live in one of the Baltic States in Europe. Most people here are narrow-minded and we don't have (at least my small town) education about mental health problems, we are told to just 'get over it' or 'snap out of it'.
     
  11. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

    Joined:
    May 10, 2014
    Messages:
    2,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    кєηтυ¢ку
    You shouldn't have to worry about being hospitalized. Unless you are clearly a threat to others or yourself. Besides, if you seek out help instead of being forced, it looks good in the eyes of the mental health field. It shows you are being responsible, and wanting to do something productive about your well being. If you get put into a hospital for that, well, that's just plain fucked up.

    Also, you aren't the only one suffering. Silently or aloud. Let's get that out there. There are thousands of people, at least, who are also undergoing their own mental health journeys. Again, you aren't the only one. I'd include myself in this, even though I have only been given one "official" diagnosis, which was ADD/ADHD (even the mental health field can't settle on one [ADD] or the other [ADHD]). However, I suspect I may have remnants of Bipolar-something-or-another, possibly even suffer from a degree of Psychopathy, due to past observations and experiences. But I'm here to tell you, you can overcome this, with a desire to seek/get/receive help, and the will to continue moving forward.

    It is when you cave to your dilemmas that you are admitting, life has gotten the better of you -- and that is wrong. It's your life, not anybody else's, and you only get one shot, so why waste any of it in doubt or fear? It can be overwhelming, yes, but if you truly do want to look into any kind of aid, do so. Your parents are obviously not being very, well, parent-like, and that's a shame. They have such a lovely and intelligent daughter who they'd rather let linger in misery, as opposed to helping her become so much more.

    I've learned in life, if others won't help you, you have to do it yourself. Otherwise, you'll only remain where you are. You have to make the decision to live for yourself, and in this situation that means tending to yourself. I'd say, go for it, at least check it out and see what there is to be had. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll have the confidence of knowing you tried, and maybe you can learn what to weed or filter out about yourself. Even if it does work out, well, then maybe you'll receive the treatment you need and can, finally, be the wonderful individual that you are -- and that I see.

    When you begin to 'get better', you can begin planning to reach that next step. Which is a degree of independence, which education and some hard work can achieve for you, and you should be able to do, if you're 'better'. Besides, you're too damn clever to just sit and waste away; and you know this, despite how you may feel at times. Hell, I dare say you're more aware to the depravity of situations than, perhaps, even I -- so don't let such abilities, one of many, go to waste!

    Finally, when you start to move ahead in your life, you'll find good people along the way. This is when you can finally say, "Wow, so this is what life is all about...", and you'll start to feel more confident, more involved, and more productive. You'll realize, all the hardships and roadblocks you face now, were all trials to overcome, to give you that insight and strength, so that you may provide it unto others who, so desperately, need somebody like you.

    Don't let indifferent or ignorant people detour you from your potential, because you can take one look at them and see, for yourself, what your life will be, if you allow such to happen. The world has enough of this, there is no need for anymore.

    (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

    Now, go be awesome~!
     
    #11 Kaiser, Jan 15, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2015
  12. Lazuri

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    2,710
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    I have a friend who went to mental hospital once or twice. She was unstable and lashed out at everyone and hurt herself.

    Here's the kicker though; she was one of the patients of least concern in there. That just proves that it has to be really bad for you to end up there.

    And my friend is fine now. She has a son and another son on the way and she's worked as a teacher and nobody said "you can't teach these kids because you went to a mental hospital."

    And like somebody else mentioned, doctors will only suspect you of being a lying junkie if you frequently turn up, go through treatment until you get pills and then just break contact only to show up again when you run out of pills. Those are the signs of a junkie, not a person who's looking for help.
     
  13. MyLittleWorld

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    1,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brno, Czech Republic
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I scheduled my appointment with psychiatrist online, I will be seeing him on 02.03. I REALLY hope I will not chicken out...

    Thank you all for help and support. (*hug*)(*hug*)
     
  14. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2014
    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indianapolis, IN
    Gender:
    Male
    Good for you, I hope everything works out for you, I'm sure it will.

    I was wondering about your location, we tend to forget the progress we've made, and how stuck some places are in the world.

    You will be better off seeking help, then trying to do this on your own, or worse, end up harming yourself and HAVING to be put in the hospital.

    Stay strong, and remember you have a bunch of people here online that can help you, or at least empathize with you.
     
  15. MyLittleWorld

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    1,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brno, Czech Republic
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thank you. :slight_smile: I appreciate that.
     
  16. Ghosting

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2014
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    By the way... you ARE being brave.

    Bipolar disorder can be frightening and sometimes, it's easier to try and hide than to confront.

    But you're confronting despite your fears and that's being brave.

    I've been there before with a bipolar type II diagnosis and though the diagnosis eventually got changed, getting help throughout that time period was critical and I am glad that I did it and yes, I was terrified and I went through it alone and had similar fears.

    You're not crazy or bad and definitely not a criminal just because you have bipolar disorder; please remember this no matter how it goes. What people may try to judge you to be is not necessarily any kind of truth.

    All the best to you and thank you for looking out for yourself and loving yourself and recognizing that you need help.
     
  17. Dryad

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2013
    Messages:
    772
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That's awesome news! I'm really happy for you, despite not knowing you in person.
    I hope everything goes fine. :slight_smile:
     
  18. Erzulie

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2014
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    0
    Really glad that you are seeking help. Sometimes that first step is the hardest. It is really good that you are recognizing the issues you are having and asking for help rather than suppressing or denying them until they put you in rock bottom. It takes a lot of courage for that. I know you have already made your appointment, but a suggestion is to have a doctor who is a female as well. Sometimes it is easier to be comfortable talking with someone of the same gender. If it doesn't matter to you than totally disregard it. That was an issue for a friend of mine when she first started seeking help so I thought I'd share that in case it might be for you. I really hope everything goes well for you!
     
  19. MyLittleWorld

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    1,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brno, Czech Republic
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    She is a female, I hope it will help, thanks. :slight_smile: by the way, my appointment was rescheduled for this Wednesday, so it's whole week earlier. I'm scared as hell...
     
  20. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2014
    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indianapolis, IN
    Gender:
    Male
    Don't be scared. You should talk right up front about boundaries, and what she is allowed to tell others, and who.

    As long as you are comfortable about those boundaries, you should just be honest with everything.