I've been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend, and I just haven't been able to get it up when I'm with him. We haven't had sex yet, and don't plan to for a little bit, but we make out (with a lot of touching involved). Today, we even showered together. He was hard, but I was completely flaccid... (this is the first time we've seen each other fully naked, and the first time that I've ever been naked in front of someone in a romantic way). I don't know why I can't seem to get an erection (although I sometimes am semi-erect when making out). Could it be because I'm 21, and this is really my first time actually making out with someone, and exploring bodies with someone? I have NEVER done any of this up until this point (even the kissing, and touching... This is my 3rd time with him, but those were the only times I've ever done that kind of stuff). I know I'm still getting comfortable with all of this, and I know a part of this is probably to do with being shy/performance nerves. I also seem to have body confidence issues (I'm not comfortable in the skin I'm in to be honest). But I was so embarrassed when I was flaccid, and my boyfriend was hard. I don't want him to feel like I don't like him... Should I maybe talk to him about it next time?
It's probably your nerves getting the better of you. The more you worry about it, the least likely it is to happen. It's a pretty common occurrence, specially among first-timers. Next time you are with your boyfriend try to relax, forget about your dick and just enjoy the moment. When you push those worries away from your head and manage to be at ease in the moment, you'll see it will happen naturally.
My diagnosis is pure performance anxiety. It sounds like that's the big problem here. And to solve it, you need to communicate, take all that pressure off you.
I Dont think you are doing anything wrong sometimes it doesnt happen the first time dont let it worry you relax and it will happen am sure .
I think you're right. I'm just scared that even after talking it through, it won't immediately solve the problem... ---------- Post added 17th Jan 2015 at 01:24 PM ---------- LOL, hypersexuality? I think you mean the opposite of that...
I agree with everyone else that it is almost certainly due to nerves and body confidence issues. Try to relax.
BAHAHA! Nah, he's a virgin (like me). Maybe he's suffering from a case of repressed sexuality? I think I am as well, but that the repression of my sexuality has hindered my performance ability.
Hopefully, when it gets to a time when you decide to go through the deed, everything will work out fine. Meanwhile, conserve your energy on scrubbing each other's backs in the shower.
I don't know anything about dicks but I definitely would be honest with your boyfriend. If you think he might be hurt by your body's lack of response, explain to him that you're just really nervous but still are into him.
