I'll spare you the long story concerning my crush and I (for those who want to read it can be found here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/general-support-advice/157458-do-i-dare-pursue.html) I just want to know if I should tell him that I like him now or leave it until the end of school. I know what I'm going to say already. Here's the 'first draft': "Hey... I know this may sound strange. I know you may be confused to as why I am telling you this but I feel as that if I never get this off my chest then I'll just regret not telling you. To put it simply, I like you... This isn't some declaration of love or anything, I just think that you're a nice guy (Cute too by the way haha) who I wouldn't mind being friends, or more, with. Yet however, you're straight and I'm gay. It could never work. I didn't see the point in just messaging you one day saying "Hey" and trying to build a friendship that would tear me apart. I mean, we're in year 11 now. Everyone has their own group of friends; it's kind of hard to try and talk to someone who you know isn't accessible. If I suddenly tried to strike a conversation with you it'd be awkward for both of us. Furthermore, since the start of comprehensive I've built up the image of me being the 'quiet one' of the class/year group. That's not me. Not many people know me for who I am. I hate being quiet, I hate feeling left out but this school has made me feel like being myself was a bad thing. But anyway... to get back to the point. I've had a HUGE crush on you for a couple of months now. I just feel like it is unfair not telling you. You deserve to know and I deserve to be able to move on with my life. Wondering about what would've happened if I told you would've been a terrible mistake so here it is. I'm not asking for a relationship of any sort, not even a friendship. I just wanted you to know. I'm sorry that you had to be the one the gay kid had a crush on but that's just life sometimes. Full of unexpected turns. I don't really have anything else to say now so bye I guess? (I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell people about this... I'm kinda embarrassed haha)." I just want the members of EC's honest opinion on this. I'd greatly appreciated any advice on if this is suitable( what it says, does it get the point across e.t.c.) and if so, when should I send him this message; now or when we leave school in the summer. Thank you!
Hey Love! I love what you wrote, but I personally think it's better to keep it for yourself. It might be good to know if he is straight AND an ally because boys at your age can be really nasty sometimes, and I just don't want to see you hurt. It really is beautifully written and gets your point across, but you might want to condense the note since he is straight and might not be as mature as you might think. If you really feel the only way to move past him is to let him know via note, then I would say something more along the lines of "Hey, I just need to let you know this to get it off my chest, so here it goes. I have a crush on you. It's just a crush, and I think you know the difference between having a little crush on someone and feeling enamored with that person, and it's not the latter. It's kind of the first time I've felt this way about another guy, so I think it would be nice to at least talk to you, but I understand if you'd instead need some space. At the minimum, could you please respect my wishes and not let anyone know about this since I feel a little embarrassed? Thank you!" I just feel like the note I wrote is still you and answering some questions you might want to know. Because obviously the best outcome is for him to come to you and say he has feelings for you, too, and you guys go somewhere and start making out. However, it still leaves him room to respect that if he really is only straight, then he doesn't have to approach you and you can just move on from him. Right? Well, good luck! Much peace, love, and respect!
Thank you so very much! I've decided to leave it for a while to see if my feelings fade for him but If not then I'll definitely say what you've suggested! (*hug*)
