It is so cool to have so many opportunities to have thrown in my directions once I became open with my sexual orientation to people. (!) However, I'm thinking the opportunities that are presenting themselves aren't the ones I want. I had a random couple ask me to be a part of their threesome and I was all for it until the actual moment arised and then let them know I couldn't do it via phone (I wasn't in a room with them or anything). :eusa_doh: Then, literally the same day, while I went on a snowboarding trip with my friends and a good friend of mine and her boyfriend said they'd love for me to join them (in sex) , but I still couldn't do it. It's so weird because I really, really thought I have a crush on this girl. A group of us (6 people) were all drunk and naked in the jacuzzi, and the girl I have a crush on was next me the whole time. Her boyfriend kept trying to get me to grab her boobs or just on her, but it made me feel uncomfortable because of how forceful it was and she yelled at him to stop pressuring me. I eventually got out of the jacuzzi to take a shower. While in the shower, my friend and her boyfriend came in and saw me there. I said sorry for invading their space but I really needed to take a shower (in their private bathroom while the other one was preoccupied). They were okay with it, and the girl I have a crush on came in naked and was staring at me like she was ready to make a move. For some reason I couldn't do anything to her and I like turned around to face the wall and covered my face. All throughout the night she would say stuff like I could join her with her guy, wouldn't mind if I licked her, and kept touching me, but I couldn't bring myself to be with them. :dry: My fantasy would be to be with a girl that I know for sure wants to do stuff with me without needing encouragement from a man and isn't already a friend I've known for some time. I would love to do stuff with a girl when it's like just us two watching a movie or something and we start off cuddling and things just kind of happen naturally from there. :icon_wink Does that make sense? Do my feelings seem justified?
Totally u shouldn't feel pressured by a horny guy to do it with his gf. I understand that 100,000% and I hope u find a nice single girl for fun.
I've been with two guys at once, and would definitely do two girls, but a boy and a girl seems frightening to me for some reason.
This exactly. There is no 'should do' in these things. Follow your feelings and you should be fine. That may mean just being with one woman, or two guys, or two women. Eventually, it may mean being with a man and woman who you find you like in that way. From what you describe, it sounds like you were perhaps feeling pressured by these two and that they were more into the idea of a threesome because you were available, not because you all mutually liked each other (either in terms of emotions or just good old fashioned lust) to the point that you wanted to have sex together. Don't feel you 'must' do anything - except what feels right to you. Todd
Wow, these people are treating you with total disrespect, like an object rather than a person. These don't sound like friends at all, they don't seem like people who you shouldn't be spending much time with. Being a bisexual should not at all mean that random people proposition you for sex all the time without even getting to know you or care about you or ask you what you want. That is even worse than being treated like a prostitute, because at least prostitutes get paid... so if you're not getting paid to use your body like a piece of meat than these people are really showing even less respect for bisexuals than they would for prostitutes. I say this because I am really tired of how automatically people think the orientation "bisexual" means 'will sleep with anybody who wants it, in any configuration they show up with,' rather than simply a descriptor of your possible attraction for both some men, and some women. Someone who is straight is not automatically treated as if they can be groped and slept with by absolutely every person of the opposite sex in the world. It's fine to want sex, and also to decide to have sex with many people. But in the scenarios you're describing, it sounds like you are in a lot of very risky situations, with people who possibly are not using adequate protection (dental dams, etc.), with people who are treating you very shallowly and who do not really respect your opinions or feelings that much. You're more than a bisexual, you are a PERSON, with standards for who you sleep with and what situations in which you will do so. You might want to make that very clear to the people you are around, or not hang around them anymore. I have to be honest with you too that you are putting yourself in some really dangerous scenarios, being totally drunk and naked in groups of people with aggressive guys who think you are open to sex with anybody. That is a rape scenario in the making, and certainly a huge risk of STD transmission also. I have lots of friends who have been raped, and a friend recently who was in LA and was drinking with a group of guys and girls just like you was gang raped. It does happen, and free flowing alcohol and aggressive men just makes it more likely. It's really traumatic, and not fun at all, and soo not worth the risk. You have a right to say no to people, being bisexual does not mean your body is a free-for-all. I don't mean this at all to be judgment, but to say I'm concerned for you and you might want to think about why you are putting yourself in these situations, and putting any pressure on yourself at all to sleep with people simply because you're bisexual and they might want it. It seems like you might have some issues with how you're feeling about yourself and your self-worth to deal with, because you are worth being treated a whole lot better than that! Just a thought. You sexual orientation has nothing to do with how many people you have the interest in sleeping with, only with the sexual identification of the people you have an interest i sleeping with. You can be bisexual and only interested in sleeping with one person your entire life. The two are not related at all. ---------- Post added 20th Jan 2015 at 02:54 PM ---------- By the way, from your title and your original post, it would seem like perhaps you believe being bisexual is synonymous with having threesomes. It is NOT. The majority of people never have a threesome in their life. It's ok to do it if you want to, but it is by no means a given part of the bisexual identity at all! Bisexual does not mean 'sleeps with more than one person at the same time.' It means 'capable of being attracted to both male and female.' For many bisexuals, this attraction does not even occur for both sexes at the same time, much less lead them to decide to sleep with both simultaneously. Just wanted to clear that up, in case you thought that bisexual means you must be into that - which it seems like that's what you're saying. One has nothing to do with the other.
They are friends! 2 of the 7 are girls I've been best friends for 15 years (neither of them propositioned me), and the girl who was there with me naked in the jacuzzi I've been friends for just 6 months, but she's been friends with my best friends for 5 years and isn't a bad person. She just knows I like her and I mentioned her boyfriend was cute and they know that I turned down a previous threesome and if I was interested they let me know they were available. We were all drunk and things get a little out of hand, but I don't think they treated me with no respect (and definitely not less than a prostitute). The other part is kind of true. I do put myself in a lot of risky situations that goes beyond sexual situations. Although the people I was around that weekend would have never gangbanged me. I was among friends (not random people I just met) despite the drunken sexual nature of it all. Also, I did say no. I said no to 4 people that night! 2 guys and 2 girls. I did end up sleeping with a different guy but that was very consensual. And yeah, I definitely agree that I have some self-esteem/self-worth issues, but we all struggle with something or another. I kind of just want to figure myself out, and I'm getting kind of tired waiting to find a girl mutually reciprocated enamoration with a girl who'd want to hang out with me (like that ) in a natural way. I know what bisexuality means. I took enough LGBT, sociology, behavioral science and psychology classes to really grasp it. The title is more of me saying "Obviously it's okay that I'm not into these threesomes, right?" But, I appreciate your care and support (*hug*) Thanks for writing :smilewave
