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PTSD is a bitch

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Sam2, Jan 20, 2015.

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  1. Sam2

    Sam2
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    ive been seing a guy for like a month now. he wanted to makes things... more deep. he talked about deep things, legit things that were bothering him, his parents and what not. he said "Knowing i care helps him" but then he started asking me about stuff. I tried changing the subject multiple times, but he kept going back. asking about my childhood. and all of that. finally I snapped. I freaked out yelled and cussed, and said "I don't remember shit about my childhood, except that it was terrible. so stop fuckin asking!" realizing i probably freaked him out, i left. but the damage had been done, i couldn't stop thinking about my childhood, I remember thinking "what happened to you? why are u the way u are?" and in an instant i lost my breath, as if i just ran a mile. my heart was beating so fast i could feel it in my throat, it got so bad, I thought i was gonna die, until i started drinking. and now I'm piss ass drunk (Great example to set for my daughter, just glad she didnt see any of it.)

    if he is very open minded he might be willing to give me a second chance, but i doubt it. i mean i would'nt if i was him. so my question is plain and simple. anyone on here have a partner with PTSD? anyone think they could put up with it?
     
    #1 Sam2, Jan 20, 2015
  2. Lazuri

    Lazuri
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    I think it can work. PTSD is a lot about triggers and it gets better if he can actively avoid yours, but he must know what they are.
     
    #2 Lazuri, Jan 20, 2015
  3. BiBiBaybee

    BiBiBaybee
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    So PTSD is a little more complicated than something like depression, but it's treatable all the same. Clusters of symptoms, drugs only work on one cluster, talking helps the rest. Booze only makes it worse, as do street drugs. Talking, as in counseling, but certainly communication with your friend will help, too. There's time for that later after you're sober.
    Try not to be so hard on yourself, Sam. Lazuri is correct, knowing the triggers is important, and knowing that "this too shall pass," is important, as well.
    S
     
    #3 BiBiBaybee, Jan 20, 2015
  4. Statua

    Statua
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    Hey Sam,

    I also have PTSD related to my childhood, and can relate. The struggle is real and can get very intense, and I want you to know that you have someone to talk to here to knows at least part of what you're going through.

    Regarding your partner, I advise you go back to him. If you're comfortable with it, plainly tell him that you have PTSD and would rather not talk about your childhood. That's it. If he asks questions, only answer them if you're comfortable. If he's not okay with accepting the limits you need to have, or keeps pulling your triggers, it may turn into a very unhealthy relationship. What I do know is that your partner needs to be patient and prepared to act as a calming anchor, even if you have to ask him. PTSD is not an easy condition to deal with, and being with someone who has it just requires a certain, genuine kindness. Don't forget to give yourself a second chance, too. It's worth it.

    Here for you mate,

    S
     
    #4 Statua, Jan 20, 2015
  5. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    I've been going through PTSD over the past year and a half, at the same time that I have been trying to deal with coming out. I was in the middle of a revolution in a middle eastern country, and was finally evacuated. It took a year before I could even talk about it, or start remembering what happened. I've have a few PTSD issues over the course of my life, starting with childhood incidents that only my sister and I remember, related to our mother. So, I think the solution is that the person with PTSD has to be committed to getting better, and that involves being willing to get therapy and to follow the counselor's recommendations. I think that a relationship with someone with PTSD can work, but only if the person suffering from it is willing to take the necessary steps. And if not, I think that it will be a hard row to hoe. (&&&)
     
    #5 Wildside, Jan 21, 2015
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