So I recently came out to my parents after knowing I was gay for a few months and they didn't take it well, which I expected. I was feeling pretty chill about being a lesbian but all of a sudden the loneliness and stress of it all is really getting to me. I have a history of self harm but I hadn't done it in a year till tonight I just couldn't stop myself. I don't wanna go down that road again but I'm having a hard time creating a better future for myself. Things are just looking impossible right now and I feel like I'm spiraling again like I did in high scho when I first realized I liked girls and rlly fucked my life up. EC is the only place I can talk to ppl and I just feel so overwhelming alone.
Hey ANewDawn, Firstly i'm not going to touch on the self harm parts because i am not qualified to give you any advice aimed directly at that, nor would i want to in case i had a more negative effect... I have never self harmed so i can't even connect with you on that basis. What i have gone through though is severe doubts of self worth, and although you had written allot there what i read was that you seem to have an issue with yourself as well as what others had pushed unto you. Why are things looking impossible ? because your parents (presumably from a diff generation) have a problem with your sexual preference ? It's to be expected and i think it's something parents come to terms with over a course of time, when they realize that just because what you choose to do behind closed doors in private in fact has absolutely no effect on them... They will come around. Allot of problems when it comes to being attracted to the same gender i believe (opinion) stems from peoples own belief that they are not normal, or not how they should be. You are normal, You are no less normal than your straight friend. You are no less normal than your parents. You are Human. Simple. You're doing what humans have done for a lifetime, Making Progress. When does it get better ? When you realize there is nothing wrong to begin with. You don't need any ones acceptance but your own, start with that and see how it goes. Hope this helps somewhat, feel free to PM me.
If you need someone to talk to, please go see a therapist. This seems like a serious issue that needs to be dealt with. You deserve to feel better. (*hug*) As, for the self harm, find healthier alternative that will make you feel better. Do something that will put you in a better mood. Go watch a comedy movie/tv show, spend time with friends who truly accept you, work out, read a good book, etc. Personally, when faced with homophobia and the fear of not being accepted, I feel as if talking to and spending time with people who do accept me makes me feel better. It helps to think that even though some people don't accept me, there are always people who do. I hope this helps. I hope everything will turn out okay for you. You never know, maybe over time, you parents will adjust and accept you for who you are.
Don't feel alone. Come to EC. Talk to others, read, write in threads, ask others on their walls... You might apply for full membership and join the chat and exchange private messages. You could try to build some community: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/149346-where-can-i-meet-lgbtq-people.html#4 http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/166447-how-do-you-make-friends-adulthood.html#5 here would be some strategies concerning self harm: Self harm (*hug*)
Everyone says it gets better after the teen years. Hold on. I'll be here for you too. Message me anytime.
why is that when we are in pain, we end up causing even more pain on top of that??? Self inflicted harm to self doesn't take your problems away. You have you love yourself. When you hurt yourself you are also hurting those who love you, since they don;t want to see you suffer. Everyone have issues- in time it passes. You should read a book, Brain Weiss, "through time into healing", it might help. Always remember we are not alone and we are always being loved.