I posted earlier about my homophobic family and how done I am and I'm ready to relapse. I didn't want to but I did. And I feel so ashamed. I'm not asking for someone to tell me what I should do or anything. I just want support. I'm falling apart and my depression is escalating again. ---------- Post added 20th Jan 2015 at 10:28 PM ---------- I have this in this category by accident btw. I was browsing and not thinking and couldn't figure out how to change it to the general support.
First, (&&&) Second, recognize the addiction is a disease. With nearly every other disease, we treat it, and we have periods where it comes back and we have to treat it again. There's no shame in going back for treatment of cancer or diabetes or arthritis, and there shouldn't be either for treatment for addiction. So accept yourself exactly as you are... a human being who is taking steps to get an illness under control. Give yourself credit for doing as well as you have, and know that tomorrow is another day and it can be the last day that you let this disease get hold of you. Do you have a sponsor or someone sober who understands and supports you without judgment? If so, that would be my first call. If not.. maybe this would be a good time to consider getting that sort of help. There are many people here at EC who have been where you are, and have gotten past it. You can (and will) too.
I don't have a sponsor. I don't know if they have that for self harm... I have friends that know but I have been clean for a year and a half and I'm so ashamed. Plus, it's so hard to tell people. I don't want to seem attention seeking.
You could have a look here: 3 Ways to Stop Cutting Yourself - wikiHow (In one chapter they write about shouting... don't shout in a room... shout in a pillow...) The Simple Way to Stop Self Harming Self-Injury Help, Self-Mutilation Help and Support - HealthyPlace This could also help: http://www.wikihow.com/Create-a-Stress-Ball Best would be to buy one. Otherwise use a few baloons, and be careful with fingernails. Know that you are loved... (*hug*)(*hug*)(&&&)
Me too as well...I want to feel ashamed but I know it was necessary. after 1 year and 4 months, back to square one
I have learned many methods to stop cutting, and it worked for a long time. But everything just got so stressful. Finals, problems with my dad, dealing with so much homophobia (not just at home. My area is highly conservative. My school barely got a GSA, which we are forced to call equity club this year and last time it happened, they wanted to stop all the other clubs just so they didn't have a GSA). I just broke.
(*hug*)(*hug*) to both of you You can be proud of yourself to have made it for so long. You can make it again. Please read through the links above and practise at least one or two things from it, take away any means of cutting. If you feel like it, go to your bed, start punching the pillows and screaming... then talk to a friend... (*hug*)(*hug*) ---------- Post added 21st Jan 2015 at 06:55 PM ---------- You can be proud of yourself to have made it for so long. You can still make it. If you continue stopping, this one incident hardly counts... you still have a history of being clean for so long.... just contine stopping, like you have the last months.... (*hug*)
Having grown up in an area quite hostile to homosexuality/bisexuality etc., I understand the anger one can have. I once had a teacher who said homosexuality/homosexual porn can lead to pedophilia. This made me stuff my feelings away that I had. Looking back, two of my closest friends were rather feminine in nature. It is what it is. You cannot deny who you are, you just have to hang on. When you do get older, you can find more freedom. It is certainly getting there that is hard.