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Being Bullied by a Transgendered Person

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Everfalling, Jan 21, 2015.

  1. Everfalling

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    Lately I've been dressing and acting like a boy, I like the feeling of boys clothes and I kind of like the style. I've always been kind of boyish, so dressing the part just feels right. Lately however, I've been getting a lot of... I don't really know a good word in English, trouble? From a local trans-man (FTM) He's been trying to convince me that I'm trans too, because of the way I act and dress. I know I'm not trans, I love being a girl and I love my body, I'm a boyish lesbian girl, and that's who I want to be. The thing is, he will not stop harassing me about it. Harassing might not be doing it justice, so here are some examples.

    "You are not some CIS whore, your trans, just accept it."
    "Look at you, how can you still call yourself a girl when you dress like that?"
    "Just come out as trans already, everyone's been waiting for it!"
    (Rough translations)

    What should I do? I've already asked him to stop, but he won't, and some of the things he says are just mean!
     
    #1 Everfalling, Jan 21, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2015
  2. Everfalling

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    I know this isn't something typical of EC, and I really don't have anything against transgendered people, but it's really been bothering me. A lot of what she says starts making me question my gender, and I really don't want to. I don't feel comfortable anymore, like I have to either have to follow my gender rules, or commit to being transgendered, and I really don't want to, I like where I am as a person. It has taken me a long time to get here and finally somewhat accept who I am! I don't know what to say to him to make him stop! I just want him to leave me alone by my gender, I'm a girl and I want to be girl, I'm not gender neutral or trans, I'm a girl and he just won't stop! He's making me question myself and I really don't like it!
     
  3. Kaiser

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    Ah, bullies...

    *cracks knuckles*

    ... my specialty.

    Here's your options:


    Option #1:
    You tell them once, maybe twice, what your situation is. You aren't transgender, and that you are, in your own words "a boyish lesbian girl". If they continue with their nonsense, just shrug it off and leave. Don't respond to them, don't give them the time of day, and they should leave you alone...

    ... but that isn't how the real world always works. There is a possibility they may become hostile or more determined to make their point. This is when it is absolutely essential to not give them anything to work with. Bullies, of any variety, thrive off of that -- they need that to nourish their lives. If you cut them off from it, like an addict they flip out, but they'll cease... they have to, because they'll need to get their fix from somebody else.

    Option #2:
    You just cut right to the chase and ignore them, as best you can. Give them the silent treatment; and keep at it, no matter what they do or say. Getting under your skin is what they want, and when you react to their words or actions, they win. It might be hard at first, but be strong, be persistent. Eventually, they'll have to find a new target.

    Option #3:
    You fight fire with fire. They don't want to respect you, you don't respect them.

    If they are indeed transgender, then you already have a bullet in the chamber, so to speak, to shoot them with. Tell them:


    "Well, you're still a woman, because you've got a clit!"

    "Look at you, how can you call yourself a man when you dress like that?"

    "Just come out as a woman already, everybody is waiting for it!"

    "Wait, is a woman trying to tell me what to do? Us women are too dumb; maybe if it was a big, strong, intelligent man, I'd listen."​


    Of course, this may incite them. But it would be making a point, about respecting others, and society's gender roles.

    Personally, I wouldn't recommend this; but I'm just going to provide you all your options. Right or wrong, it's up to you to decide which is best for you and your situation.

    Option #4:
    You shut them down. Totally.

    Tell them, you pity their pathetic life, because they just can't accept the fact they're so lonely. That they are so desperate to have somebody else, in their life, that can understand their plight, that they'd be so stupid to try and make you think you're just like them -- a delusional, idiotic, worthless piece of flesh, who doesn't even have a speck of confidence; instead relying on bringing others down instead of building themselves up.

    Personally, I wouldn't recommend this one either. For one, it's downright cruel. Secondly, you might incite them even worse than with Option #3. But, again, it is an option.


    I'd go with Option #1 or Option #2, myself. It shows you're the bigger person, and it denies them what they want, which is getting underneath your skin.
     
    #3 Kaiser, Jan 21, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2015
  4. MrK21

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    Okay, this man's ignorance disgusts me. Bullying somebody is not acceptable whether you are cis trans black white straight gay pansexual bisexual whatever. Cis people can be masculine women or feminine men and there are even trans people that are masc women or fem men. The only person that has ANY authority over your gender identity is YOU. I would say something like "You call yourself a MAN, when you try to police people's gender identity?"
     
  5. WolfyFluff

    WolfyFluff Guest

    I'd personally ignore him. Make some friends who would like you for who you are. They could stand up to them if you don't want incite him. Sound like they're just trying to et under your skin and control things that aren't meant to be controlled.
     
  6. Lazuri

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    This the typical tumblr transgender. They don't actually know what it means to be trans, they're just following a fad and using it as an excuse to say "check your privilege."

    Do what Kaiser suggested and tell him that you are not trans and if he is trans he should understand that clear as day. If he is persistent you accuse him of being exactly what he most likely is: a fad following tumblr bitch who doesn't know shit about the movement "he" claims to be fighting for.

    It sounds harsh and it probably is, but nothing pisses me off quite like these people. Maybe then he'd leave you alone.
     
  7. Straight ally

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    what arguments have you used already to explain yourself to him?
     
  8. Everfalling

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    I've told him that I'm not trans in a hundred different ways. At first I was just a bit dismissive of it, like, no, I like being a girl. Than he got more persistent, so I started becoming more blunt. I told him that I know 100% that I am not trans, but it doesn't seem to matter, the more I deny it, the angrier he seems to get at me. He is convinced I am transgendered, and nothing I will change his mind. (I should have mentioned this is the assistant manager at my deli, I tried talking to the manager about it, but he's the owner's nephew.)
     
  9. Really

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    "I no longer wish to discuss this or hear your comments regarding my personal affairs. I will no longer explain myself. Please stop."

    And then do not respond anytime he brings it up again.
     
  10. Pret Allez

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    He's full of shit, and you should just tell him his behavior is extremely inappropriate.

    Adrienne
     
  11. Brandiac

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    How can someone act so inconsiderately when they have their own thing they "can be judged for". It's the same reason why I never give two shits about what people get off to, do in their privacy because I do something out of the ordinary myself.
    So this person is a pretentious cunt and can't decide wheter he's a he, or just an asshole.
     
  12. turtlemom

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    Im assuming by your comment, "he is the assistant manager at my deli" that you work at the deli. In that case, you might want to consider applying for a job at other places. By the sounds of it, this person isnt going to stop with the harassment/bullying thats just the way they are. You need to get away from this person. Good luck!