1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Destroying yourslef is painful weather you know it or not

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Sam2, Jan 24, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Sam2

    Sam2
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    So i've been in the crazy house for about 3 days. they focused a lot on my alcohol abuse. do too, twitches the doctors noticed, I took an MRI of my brain.

    The doc says I have Alc. induced myopathy. which is a nervous disorder. which deteriorates your muscles. doc said i need to quit drinking, blazing and everything else.

    Trying to be funny. I said "What a bummer!"

    He smiled and said "yes quite a bummer, but what bums you out more? not getting drunk, or being at the age of 25 and only being able to hug your daughter with one arm, because the other doesn't work?"

    He brought my daughter into it. that changed everything. I wish. I am drunk right now. which is why i am posting this. I know they will read this (as I am still in the crazy house) and prevent me from getting booze. At least I hope they will. I am hear for the next 3 weeks at least. more than enough time to get past alc withdrawals.

    doc says, the drugs i did (mostly because i was 12 when I started taking acid and coke) did sever damage too my brain. and that i will not likely see past age 70. this of course scares the shit out of me, fills me with self hatred, and depression. but on the other hand, that's 50 more years to live. IF i play my cards right. No more drinking. and no more hard drugs. doc says weed has been proven to help this, so maybe ill still smoke weed, but the most important thing is to do physical therapy. to eat the foods, which contain the right vitamins,I'm terrified. because no mater what i do, sooner or later; my muscles will give out. and i will die. my left arm and leg get numb as fuck! which is why they chose to do the MRI. yet here I am drunk as piss.

    God I hope an attending reads this. I feel like thats my only way of truly getting help. i did so man drugs as a kid, trying to escape my problems; only to learn that they were my problem. to know that even if i quit them, they will kill me sooner or later
     
    #1 Sam2, Jan 24, 2015
  2. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2014
    Messages:
    6,943
    Likes Received:
    2,362
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Do you want to do this Sam? Is it something you really, really want with all your heart? Sounds like an obvious question, but sometimes the obvious questions need a bit more thought.

    You are in a place where you can begin to make some changes, but it's obviously going to take a lot more from you. That's not to say you are all alone with it as help and support is out there, if you are willing and able to ask for it.

    It is scary, but you do have another 50 years ahead of you. Are you ready to try living those 50 years Sam (with help and support)?
     
    #2 PatrickUK, Jan 24, 2015
  3. Lazuri

    Lazuri
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    2,710
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    I'm glad to see you have gone from wanting to end it all to "50 years left to live." Your will to live seems to have improved as well as your will to get better.

    Don't count on the staff to see this, tell them.

    You can do this. I know you can.
     
    #3 Lazuri, Jan 24, 2015
  4. bingostring

    bingostring
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Messages:
    2,083
    Likes Received:
    113
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Just think a moment of being alive at 70 ..
    and how your daughter will be around .. and she'll be 45!!

    And you may even have grand children by then.

    How amazing is that … Isn't this worth waking up and fighting for?

    Isn't it time to take control?

    Break the cycle of the last 15 years? To take responsibility and make the next 50 years a wonderful rich experience rather than more of the same ??

    Ask yourself.. what will "more of the same" really bring you?
     
    #4 bingostring, Jan 24, 2015
  5. Andrew99

    Andrew99
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,402
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Milwaukee
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Ok Sam after u get out of that house you may wanna consider rehab. Just so that way u dont have any more withdrawls and you can jur be clean and live a long life with your daughter. And you'll still have 2 arms which is important too.
     
    #5 Andrew99, Jan 24, 2015
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.