Shit's well, still going to shit (Continued rant)

I just need to let off some steam so badly...
Holy shit - I'm so fucking over everything at this point. My dad is suicidal due to still having no job, centrelink (DOLE organisation) CONSISTENTLY fucking us over, school in a week and feeling like a burden still. Not to mention the excessive "it would be easier for them if I wasn't here" kind of thoughts.

And to put a fucking cherry on top - I get real vibes of tension between my parents, considering they've always been close, I'm worried sick about them getting a divorce because of all this bullshit as they're not used to it. I've drifted from all my friends, and really I was trying to stay optimistic about this year but oh my GOD.

This year is going to fucking suck, I can just see it now.

 

Do NOT for a minute think that you are a burden!

As a father myself, I can tell you that when less-than-great circumstances paid us a visit, as they are visiting upon your family now, I counted my children as the blessing they are and the one remaining thing I could always call my own.

There is indeed probable tension between your parents, this happens in bad times, but never, ever, think that you are the cause of it!

Just remember that things do not stay in the same intolerable place for long, give them your support as best you can, but in no uncertain terms is it up to you to fix this problem.

I wish you and your parents well, and don't hesitate to come by here from time to time to vent, as needed.

 

Thanks so much Greatwhale, just what I needed to hear. Really cheered me up.


(But I think I posted this thread twice, woops)

 

UPDATE:

Just had my feelings completely shat on by a girl I was talking to, awesome. You're a fucking winner 2015!

 

Meh, that happens dude. Can't tell you how many times I've been shot down, and it feels horrible. And you are at that age, feelings are going to be crushed sometimes for no good reason. Don't blame yourself for people not seeing how nice a person you are.

 

Thanks kindy14, it's nice knowing you're always here for me. The circumstances of which she had done this were terrible - that timing tho. Now one of my friends is having a go at me for trying to help them, and another is abusing me. I've posted about the second friend before.

Feels like no matter how hard I try, my best is perceived as my worst.

 

Just do what you think is right, and be true to yourself. Sometimes people wont understand what or why you are doing something. F'all the people who would denigrate you for trying to help someone though. They ought to be compassionate to help anyone who needs help.

The abusive one you just need to cut all ties with.

 

Can you go and give your dad a hug .. it will help him and maybe you too?

 

I do every day and tell him I love him, but I don't really know that's enough at this point...

 

Believe me when I tell you, it means the world to him.

 

Great advice from Bingostring and absolutely, totally agree with Greatwhale.

 

Yeah, when my 15 yo son hugs me out of the blue, I feel so much better about things. No matter how bad the day, it always lightens the load.

Hugs always help...

Well, unless the guy is having a severe anxiety attack and is curled up whining for his mommy... (well, this particular guy doesn't want to be touched then.)

Oh yeah, (*hug*)

 

Thanks so much you guys, I seriously appreciate it. I don't know how I'd be if it weren't for you guys, and your amazing advice. (*hug*)

 

Oh FUCK HOLD ON THERE'S MORE:

Just found out my dad has been "chatting up" another woman for the past year. Fucking AWESOME.

 

Just know, that if they divorce, it's not cause of you...

 

I don't want them to. I know the love they've shared and it feels like it's the strongest kind I've ever seen in my life, this shouldn't be happening.

 

Well, I can tell you they are not communicating their feelings effectively. If they love each other they will patch it up.

Your dad probably needs a mental health professional to help him with his depression.

I'm sorry you feel your life is shit. I would journal as much of your experience as possible. When you are farther down your journey you will have a great story to tell the world. Remember you are not responsible for your parents.

Take care and keep us updated. Talking about things helps doesn't it.

 

It really does, considering I feel as though I have no one to talk to about all this stuff IRL. Thanks again for all the advice kindy14, I really appreciate it.