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Guy contacts me on facebook. Creepy or cute?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by EpicConfusion, Jan 27, 2015.

  1. EpicConfusion

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    I'm not sure what to think About this. Honestly it creeped me out a little bit. So I get a weird facebook request, and I see it's a guy who I saw at the local college working in the office. I go there for an LGBT group once a week.
    Here's the conversation with names removed: / means me and - is him.

    / hey do I know you? I think I recognize you from the office at ***.
    - yea you do recognize me from there. I added you because I saw you in the gay peopls group and I thought you were cute.
    / haha the "gay people group". Why don't you come to it?
    - idk someboy who goes there makes me uncomfortable and I just don't want to go.
    / aw that's too bad...
    - meh it's fine
    / so you work in the office at the college?
    - yea I do. I like working there. Do you work anywhere?
    / not anymore I used to work at ***
    -oh cool do you go to school fulltime or what's your situation?
    /I'm still in highscool
    -ohhhh got it. How old are you?
    /I'm a senior. 17.
    -wow you're so young. Wanna try being friends? How often are you on campus?
    /I only go for lgbt group on teusday. How old are you?
    -oh you don't take any classes here? Im 22. What do you do at your group?
    /we just talk and play games it's pretty calm.
    -ok so are you planning on staying in *** after school?
    /if you wanted to come to the group that would be awesome. Not many people go so the person who you don't get along with probably isn't there every time.
    -maybe I'll come to meet you I guess. Is *** usually there?
    / yes he's pretty regular? If I may ask, is that whom you are speaking of?
    -mhmm
    /well that's a problem I suppose. You could try it and see if you like it?
    -yea it's not really my thing but I'll go to meet and talk with you since you'll already be there.
    /ok sure.
    -I'll see you next week then. When and where is it?
    / *** at 7pm teusdays. I go on every other teusday so I wont be there this coming teusday.
    -oh ok.
    (END)

    Is this creepy? It sounds to me like he wants to hookup, which is a no go for me. I'm also way too young for him. This makes me uncomfortable. How do I respectfully say no? Is it possible he just wnts to be friends? That seems a little sketchy for just friends. Any opinions about what I should think or do?
     
  2. QueerTransEnby

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    Run away and run fast. I would say if you had talked before than that is one thing. It seems like stalking to me. I once had a woman(young woman btw) friend request me from the nursing home where my Grandpa was being housed. Talk about creepy...
     
  3. EpicConfusion

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    Thanks for the advice. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have told him when I was going to be there... At least I will be in a group setting so nothing to creepy should happen. I will just be polite, but nothing more.
     
  4. crazycat

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    Yeah considering that you're still in high school and this person is 5 years older than you, this person sounds creepy as hell. Don't interact with him.
     
  5. EpicConfusion

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    Thanks. Now I really regret saying when and where the meetings are... what was I thinking? This is why they tell us never to talk to strangers.
     
  6. Chip

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    I disagree. I don't see anything inherently creepy here. It depends on what you are after. If, genuinely, you are only after a friend, and you make this clear, then perhaps you could have a friend and encourage him with positive choices.

    On the other hand, a relationship or hookup is pretty much out of the question. The age difference at this stage of life will bee way too much. So if you get th sense that is what he's after,then avoiding the situation entirely will be best.
     
  7. crazycat

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    Eeeeeeehhhhh from my experience when guys act like this without having, you know, really talked to you at all and knowing anything about you, it's about sex. I only say that because I've been in similar positions where I thought I found a new friend, and then when it turns out it was about sex everyone kinda acted like I shoulda known that.
     
  8. raiden04

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    Personally I'd be wary of a random person that I've never met before adding me on Facebook. You're 17 and he's 22. It's a bit strange for someone of his age to want to be making friends with a high schooler IMO.

    However, he agreed to meet you in a group setting so that doesn't sound too risky. You'll find out what his intentions really are and make an informed decision accordingly.
     
    #8 raiden04, Jan 28, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2015
  9. Lazuri

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    People are so cynical these days.

    Not everybody who's interested in you is a stalker. Sometimes people are just interested in you and are bold enough to take the first step. You have no idea of much courage he might've had to conjure up to initiate that conversation with you.

    I agree that a relationship probably isn't a super idea. Five years age difference is negligible later on, but not at your age. But from what I see, it's possible--very likely, even--that he mistook your age, since a college environment is the only place he ever saw you. I'd assume you were older too.
     
  10. EpicConfusion

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    I think you are definitely correct that he mistook my age. A relationship of any kind other than friendly is not an option for me. I do not feel comfortable with that and I'm not interested in a hook up for legal reasons as well as moral reasons. It is possible that he might be a good friend, however, I am certain that my parents would find any type of friendly relationship between us to be innaporpriate since he is an adult and I am not, if it was brought to their attention. He clearly does not want to join my LGBT group, so I don't see this working out as being friends even.
     
  11. QueerTransEnby

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    The only way I would add said person is if you have mutual friends. If your profile says you are in high school, he knew what he was doing. This is someone who is "throwing his bait in the water".
     
  12. ChameleonSoul

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    Run as fast as you can! The whole thing just screams "Pedobear Alert". It would be one thing if you were closer in age and you met each other before. But the worst thing about it is the fact that he seems to be continuing to pursue you after finding out you're a minor. Just be weary if he tries to get you meet anywhere or something.
     
  13. Lazuri

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    I agree with literally everything you said. I'm just a bit said to see everybody immediately default to "pedo stalker."

    Has the world really become so cynical that we no longer give a stranger the benefit of the doubt and automatically assume that's he's the worst kind of person?
     
  14. Brandiac

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    Well if he seems to just jump onto you it's probably a hookup attempt, but otherwise it doesn't seem to be anything you should worry about, especially if he really doesn't want to go there much.
     
  15. Illus1

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    I agree with Lazuri he doesn't seem like a crazy pedofile, just someone who doesn't want to go to the LGBT group. And well you could meet him with a friend from the group or something & you guys could become friends, I mean yes there is a gap between 17 & 22 but still. Besides everyone here has already judged the guy as a pedo, it's not like you are 13 and he saw you walking home from middle school...
     
  16. justinf

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    This!

    The guy saw you, liked you, looked you up on facebook, probably spent quite some time growing the balls to message you, and then did. I don't see anything creepy about that. If anything, it just shows he was courageous enough to take the first step. Clearly he didn't expect you to be a high school student (which, no, you can't always see on someone's facebook if they're not your friend), but as soon as he found out, he asked if you wanted to be friends. (Instead of suggesting something else, which he probably would've done if you'd been older).

    If you don't wanna be his friend, be honest to him and tell him. If you do wanna be his friend, be his friend! Make it clear it'll never be anything more, if that makes you feel more comfortable or if you think that is necessary. It's really just that simple.

    He really just sounds like a nice guy, to me.

    I find it somewhat ironic that the most judgmental people I encounter are members on EC...
     
    #16 justinf, Jan 29, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2015
  17. raiden04

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    We shouldn't assume the worst of him but in a world where stalkers and creeps DO exist it's always a good idea to be cautious, particularly when people you've never met before all of a sudden add you on Facebook and want to meet up with you. He doesn't sound like much of a risk considering he wants to meet up at the LGBT group but my point remains the same; better safe than sorry.
     
  18. lostinne

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    There's a fine line between caution and paranoia....just sayin'
     
  19. Pine

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    I like it. I think I need to join facebook