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Am I crazy?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by lovehurts, Jan 29, 2015.

  1. lovehurts

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    I'm crazy in love with my girlfriend. We're both 18 and right now our relationship is being tested because her parents are homophobic and have threatened to take away paying for her college so we are treading lightly but we have had numerous talks about our relationship and what we want out of it. We both have said that we're crazy about each other and she has thought about this for 2 months and would sacrifice going to the college she's already been accepted to, to go to a school where she could pay tuition on her own and get the same degree. We live in Colorado, we go to the same school together, I'm a junior and she's a senior and she'll be going to school in Nebraska in the fall. With her parents being the way they are, we aren't gonna have much contact over the summer, but once she's in college we'll be able to at least text, talk, and Skype and I'll be able to visit her and vice versa. When I asked her to really think everything through and to honestly ask herself if I am worth all this wait, she told me that she's been asking herself that question for the last 2 months and said I am worth everything and that she thinks we can get through this. She said she wants this to be it, I'm who she wants to be with and after asking myself the same questions, there is no one I'd rather be with. So what I've been thinking is that if we can make it through the summer and still feel the same I want to purpose to her before she's goes to college, but is that too crazy?! I know we're young and have a lot to learn and experience but she's in love with me, and I'm in love with her, we talk about our future all the time and I wanna secure that before she goes. Of course a lot has to happen before we actually cross this bridge but I would like to hear some honest opinions! Thank you all so much!
     
  2. Gravity

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    Honestly, I think this is a decision you should make yourself - it sounds like the two of you are pretty honest and open about your situation, and obviously you know her best, here.

    That said, a couple general thoughts. It's not uncommon for people to get engaged when facing an imminent separation (due to whatever - work, college, military stationing, etc.). Sometimes it's successful in bridging the difficulties associated with such a gap, sometimes not. Overall, if it were me, I would probably wait for a bit to see how the distance goes, and how it affects the two of you. Plus, with the situation in her life (uncertainty about what will happen with school, threats of tuition non-payment hanging over her head), some consistency might be good. As long as getting engaged is associated with other forms of effort to strengthen the relationship (especially from a distance) and not relied upon to do it itself, I think it would be fine.

    All that aside, though, congrats on being in this situation to begin with - it sounds like you two have a really strong bond, and engagement or not, that's certainly something to celebrate. :slight_smile:
     
  3. lovehurts

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    Thank you for the honest advice and opinion, of course this is something I need to take time to think about. Thank you for the support
     
  4. bazinga91

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    Getting engaged is a big decision and trust me I have considered proposing to my girlfriend, especially recently. A few weeks ago she left to do a semester abroad in Italy and I wanted to propose but I decided not to. When I propose I want to be married after a year and be a college graduate, be ready to get a place to live have a good job, and be able to sleep next to her and many other things I cant do that now so I decided to get her a promise ring instead. I did the whole proposal thing and told her that it was a promise that one day I would put a diamond in it place. I think you should take your time with the decision and really think about everything. Good luck! I wish you the best!