since about the 6th grade when I started questioning my sexuality I have had really low self esteem. I am always really really nervous about standing up in front of people or doing anything that involves me being the center of attention. Even when I'm just walking around school i feel incredibly self conscious if I'm not wearing a jacket. Does anyone maybe have some tips on how I can work on my self esteem?
Welcome! You have already taken the first step by posting here and talking about your experiences. Low self esteem is a byproduct of shame, the deeply held belief that we are not worthy of love and belonging. And the antidote to shame is empathy: feeling connection with others and experiencing a sense of belonging. So reading, posting, and otherwise contributing here at EC, talking about your fears and realizing that so many others share the same ones you have... Are excellent first steps. I would also strongly recommend taking an hour and watching the three TED talks (about 20 mins each) by Brenè Brown: The Power of Vulnerability, The Price of Invulnerability, and Listening to Shame. These will give you some insight into why you feel the way you do and help you understand what you can do to start to change things. It takes time, but you are actually starting this journey much earlier than many people do, and so it will be easier and quicker for you than it is for the many people who don't start doing this self-exploration until they are in their 20s or 30s or beyond.
I am like you in many ways. I'm am ore or less a wall flower and I don't like being the center of attention either. Well, in a public/ social area. The staff here is wonderful and really good about giving you the ideas you need or the direction to get you going. Don't be afraid to ask them. They are truly understanding people This may not be the example you are looking for either, but my self esteem happens to be a result of how others see me. If others think I'm cool, then I am cool with my self esteem. That may not always be the case with other people. The best I can do is give you my experiences so you can use them as a template to decide what you want to do next. But for, me. The best way to get my self esteem back up is usually spontaneous randomness. I mean, sometimes being the center of attention is a good thing. But not all of the time. I believe EC is a great way to raise self esteem. If you are an artist, put up some pictures of your art and watch the comments roll in on your wall. Post some pictures of yourself (if you are comfortable with doing so), and watch the compliments come in. (Hell, I was shocked when I got compliments. I'm a monkey and I still get called cute. How'd the hell that happen?) Anyway, back on subject... Hit up the Fun And Games section and have a good time. Post up songs that you like in the threads. Every now and again someone will go... "OMG! I love that song." Another one is "Voices of EC ~2015!" Record your voice and say hello. There is always somebody commenting on somebody's voice. And apparently, I just learned this myself... if you have an accent then that makes you cool. And there is always somebody who will say "Wow, you have a cute voice." Say hello in the "Welcome Lounge." EC is always welcoming to new members. Hit up the Chit Chat forum. There is always something interesting going on in there. If you love video games... hit up the Software and Technology Forum. That's where I am usually at. Or in the Fun and Games. I like anime too, so entertainment and media is also a good place. I dunno how to explain it. And the EC staff is way better, but the best way is to jump into this wonderful world. There is no lies. No bull crap. I feel more comfortable talking with people on EC than I do on facebook or in real life. Get involved and have some fun! There is no need to feel self conscious here! Because deep down, all of us are the same inside. Our hearts are the same. But all of us are unique. I dunno if what I said helps. But I hope it does. EC has definitely helped me. Mainly because of the people who get on here.
