Hi everyone. It's very strange to talk about my problems yet, but I have start somewhere.... so my biggest problem (apart from coming out) is that I fall in love with almost every stranger guy at my workplace... I work at the local cinema and my task is to check the tickets, and clean up the rooms after the movies.... but when I'm checking the tickets, I meet hundreds of people every day, and there are always many guys whom I can't resist.... I mean, I always become nervous and my face go full red, even if they just look at me, or say hello... I don't know what to do against it, but it's getting very conspicuous, and I don't want to become a total idiot every time...:bang: any idea?:help:
Some may think its cute... seriously, showing honest emotion can be attractive... you might just relax, give a nice smile and take it easy... you could train that a bit, maybe at home... not saying to train an unnatural behaviour, just a little routine so you get more comfortable. in moments you lose yourself, you could concentrate on deep breaths... and, well, people flirt in all kinds of situations, it does not have to lead up something more. It could, but it doen't have to.
It's okay to have attractions when you meet guys in your workplace, however you might want to keep it professional at work. It's fine to be polite, smile, say hello, etc as an employee while you do your work and interact with the customers, I would just be careful to stay out of trouble at work. Definitely give yourself some time to interact with people outside of work (eg. go to bars, introduce yourself, flirt). I think if you give yourself some time to explore and meet others then being at work won't make you feel as nervous and bashful. It has helped me for a problem I had (not to the same degree as yours though!). If you constantly blush then perhaps people won't notice and assume it is your natural skin tone
i can relate to you somehow.. i don't know why but we tend to find "being unobtainable" an attractive trait, like it's the things you can't have that you want the most.. especially if you're not out yet.. maybe it's also because you're still young? i agree with the others, interact more, specially with straight guys be around them, talk with them, it will help you loosen up.. it will help you move on from that attraction.. not that it will make you dislike them, but it will help you realize that what you're feeling is something else.. and hey, it's normal to have crushes and who knows, maybe you'll find a special someone one of these days that will help you focus all your attention on just one person :"> good luck (*hug*)
When you say, "fall in love" Robbie, it can mean a lot of different things. Based on your expression of shyness I'm going to guess you actually mean love as opposed to just physical attraction. So, assuming here you are the type of guy that falls in love easily. Welcome to my world :icon_bigg. The feelings stem from a poor sense of "self" and is probably related to difficulty relating to others. This is a common problem for us gays. You aren't actually loving the guys you meet, you love the idea of loving them. You are in love with love and to that end you are prematurely projecting yourself onto an image of being in some kind of relationship with them. The solution is to stop your mind from racing forward by learning techniques to keep yourself in the present moment (mindfulness). I've been through this myself and it took a while to resolve but it really wasn't that difficult. A good technique to start with is what I like to call listen talking. In conversation with others, take yourself out of the conversation completely by constantly refocusing the topic of conversation on the other person. Imagine yourself as a talk show host reacting to everything the guest is saying while at the same time trying to keep them going on about themselves for the benefit of the audience (you). This technique forces you to be on your toes and keeps you focused on a task. You will be so busy reacting to what they are saying you simply won't have time to go into a big fantasy. Practice this often and see if you notice any improvement.
Thank you for the help. From now on I will try these techniques, and hope that it will work. I'm relieved that I'm not the only one with these feelings.
