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Cant stop feeling angry

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by JackAttack, Jan 30, 2015.

  1. JackAttack

    JackAttack Guest

    I have an annoying habit of going over in my head all the people that have pissed me off in some way in the past. People that have delibertly tried to offend me or get a reaction. People who use me and take advantage. Fair enough, not everyone is going to like me and I know some people do like me but I still feel angry with those that dont because I have no intention of doing anything bad to them.

    Im a quiet guy, I stick to my own business and never try to piss people off. For some reason I keep a mental list of people (not a hit list) and when I think about them I get all aggitated and angry. Also if I see a news story where someone has been wronged (robbed, abused etc) I will also get angry. Im not at all aggressive and im quite passive but I just get this weird angry feeling that will put me in a bad mood and will sometimes keep me awake at night. I go over in my head what I should have done differently in certain situations and what I will say if it happens again.

    I know its normal to feel angry but how can I stop feeling like this and just move on? Do I just think about people too much? Thanks for any advice.
     
  2. Pine

    Pine Guest

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    I feel like this, except instead of anger I feel sadness. I dwell on why they would hate me so much and why they would want to hurt me. I definitely think about people too much, so I think you may be right about that. People can be horrible and I don't know why.
     
  3. JackAttack

    JackAttack Guest

    I sucks doesnt it. I wish I could just ignore these sort of people and get on with things but I cant for some reason.
     
  4. Pine

    Pine Guest

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    I've learned how to not care, just recently. Maybe it can help you although you might think it's silly. But once I know someone doesn't like me I shrug, and tell myself that everyone has haters. Every politician even the pope. Even that little girl Malala that got shot in Afghanistan, there's a whole country that wants to still kill her. So don't worry that someone doesn't like you. This gives you the chance to not waste your time on them anymore and find the friends that are waiting for you. Just think, you can piss of 2 billion people and there's still 2 billion out there.

    I know this seems stupid, but it works for me and it's true. They don't deserve your time, your energy or the brain cells to move and think about them anymore. Drop them, it's their loss. People that like to hurt other people live shallow meaningless lives.

    Your real friend are out there and I can be one
     
  5. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

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    The thing about anger is, it's a tremendous source of energy. But the positives tend to end there, as anger is more about being a trickster, in making you believe, without it, you are fragile and weak.

    It isn't easy to drop anger. I'm an enraged wreck, but I'm doing a lot better than how I used to. What you have to recognize -- and anger will fight you on this, tooth and nail -- is that, because you resort to anger, you are fragile and weak -- to it. You have become enslaved to it, and you are simply a means of guaranteeing it stimulation.

    Now, I won't sugar coat this for you. Honestly, I cannot. I doubt I will ever truly get over my anger issues, they're too deeply rooted in me. But I have acknowledged what made me angry, and why. By knowing these, anger loses a lot of it's instinctive appeal, and I have grown due to this humble self-reflection. More importantly, I have learned to use any accumulation or remnants of rage to my benefit, as opposed to simply getting pissed and fueling it:

    I work out. It's nice to feel good when walking or jogging, but get ticked off, it is glorious the power you have. You can run all day and not care, because that anger will want to be felt, and it can push you to accomplish many things. Anger, as mentioned earlier, is a tremendous source of energy. It's practically endless, really, and it can be a motivator to actually get up and, well, do something. In my case, I took to taking care of my body, by walking/jogging/running, lifting weights, doing various exercises, and so on and so forth.

    I write. It's nice, again, to feel good when writing, it can produce some lovely pieces. But get ticked off, it can expose many gears inside the machine of your individualism, and these can be not only interesting, but revealing. You can learn about yourself, the severity of emotion, and the complexity of the human experience. It can really add remarkable layers to any written works; and it's a way to vent, while being productive, which in turn encourages you, thus making you feel, well, more calm.

    I meditate. It's nice, again, to go into something feel good. But when meditating, some of my deepest and most profound discoveries, come not from happiness, but pain and frustration. See, happiness tends to make one content, perhaps even protective on maintaining that. Pain is an infliction that leaves one totally open, while frustration is a plague that cripples progress. But you gain more, facing and dissecting these, because you will not only know more, but you shall be more. Knowing what can yank your chain, so to speak, is enlightening, but severing that chain, well, that is liberating.

    I could go on and on with examples, but you're a smart fellow. I suspect you know what I'm getting at here, so, I'll address the "sources" of your anger:

    It's a project, let me put that out there. It won't happen over night, because emotions are very much like habits, in that we become used to them, like a house guest, and it can be frightening to lose them. Even if they ruin us, there is familiarity, and humanity tends to favor the familiar over the unknown -- which, sadly, brings about many problems. But, let us not focus too much on this...

    Anybody that causes you emotional distress, especially anger, is not worth your time. By you giving in to their idiocy or malice, you are letting them know, you are powerless -- that they can continue doing this, and why not?

    Nobody, so far, is resisting them. Nobody, so far, has stood up to put a stop to it.

    See, humanity likes to gravitate towards putting others down, when they themselves are down, because it is much easier to drag one down than to build yourself up. By going along with this terribly tragic philosophy, you only enable it to continue, even if unintentionally. The anger and misery you feel, well, it will never go away, because you simply respond to words, perceptions, or actions, as opposed to conditioning yourself to know, endure, and learn from these words, perceptions, or actions.

    The trick is to, over a period of time, deal with your anger. Learn it, inside and out. Embrace it, not to allow it victory, but to become familiar with it. Know what pisses you off, know why it enrages you so. Dissect it, then let it go. Tame it, make use of it, so that it can generate the fuel of success for your life.

    To put it simply, you choke the shit out of that bitch, and you make it work for you -- not the other way around. You're a human being, God damn it, not some emotional puppet!

    (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)
     
  6. JackAttack

    JackAttack Guest

    Yh you're right, thanks for the advice :slight_smile:. I think im just a people please at times.

    Thanks for the good advice :slight_smile:. You're right, anybody who is rude to someone is just not worth the time. I have uped my exercising a lot so that should help with the way im feeling. I did think earlier that those that want to put others down must be feeling quite bad in themselves. Thanks again.