I am a bisexual male, age 32. For a few years now I've had a crush on my best friend who is straight, age 21 (almost 22). I feel so guilty about it and yet I can't stop thinking about him. He knows that I have a crush on him but that's it. He has no idea how deep my feelings go. Half of me wants to tell me absolutely everything, the other half feels guilty, shy and scared of how he'll react. What should I do?
Honestly, I usually advice against confessing feelings to those who have made it clear that they are straight. There are those who claim that sharing those feelings lifts a weight off of their chests, but they are essentially shifting the discomfort from them to the other party. It simply isn't fair to them. Unrequited love is always a horrible experience, but it is something that we have to learn to cope with and teach ourselves to avoid in the future.
i would agree with Gen. Its difficult, and telling him seems like the most obvious solution, but you're not going to get back what you need. however it sounds like you need to tell someone! perhaps another friend, therapist or anonymous person could help you talk through your feelings? that way you're not jeapordising your friendship with him by offloading. but you still get to talk it through and process it so its not putting such a strain on everything.
I think that telling him might only make things more tense. He already knows you have a crush on him, telling him how deep your feelings for him go might further jeopardise your friendship with him.
