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In need of advice from other lesbians

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by evora, Feb 2, 2015.

  1. evora

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    To be short and to the point, my girlfriend and I are each other's first serious girlfriends and we have no idea what we are doing.:icon_redf The only thing we know is that we love each other and want to be together. As embarrassing as it its, I really need advice from lesbians with more experience.

    I don't know how appropriate my question is so if you feel uncomfortable posting where everyone can see, you could PM me. I'd appreciate any help.

    We might be too inexperienced, I have no idea. I really want to do things right but she is a bit scared as well at times. Sometimes I wonder if I'm gonna die a virgin or am I not even a virgin anymore. Our (straight) friends ask us if we have had sex and neither of us could tell for sure if we have or not.:lol: I really am a novice.:eusa_doh::icon_redf
     
  2. bazinga91

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    Ok, well whether you have had sex or not is really up to you and your girlfriend and what you consider to be sex. You clearly love each other a lot and maybe you should talk to each other and figure it out together. For me and my girlfriend, sex is fingering, oral, a combination of both, giving and receiving but its different for all couples and its really how you personally feel. Sometimes we try different things in bed but its really up to the couple.. I hope this helps and if you have any specific questions I would be happy to answer!
     
  3. jay777

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    You could have a look here:
    How do lesbians have sex
    You might read the article from the end...
    This plus communication is all it needs... you probably know what you like, and could show...
    one of you could try what they like on the other...
    or you might simply enjoy the moment and do what comes naturally... letting it flow..
    but usually its completely different from how we thought it would be anyways
    so with that knowing...

    just take your time...
     
  4. Fallingdown7

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    A virgin is someone who has never had any sort of genital contact, ever, period.

    Even if you are 100% straight and you give your boyfriend a handjob without doing anything else, you are not a virgin in my honest opinion.

    The best part about being a lesbian and how you should look at it is you are not a heterosexual couple. There's no penis. Do what feels good and causes pleasure and that's what sex should be for you.
     
  5. lostluvr

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    in my opinion a lesbian virgin is a lady who has not been completly naked with another woman and gotten off together..(im still a les virgin..ugh kills me i want a girlfriend soooo bad! x0 ) but yea i agree u too should just talk about things
     
  6. LezBFriends

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    Lesbian sex is kind if unique for every relationship. What you think is sex could be different from what me and my fiancé see as sex. Some couples use toys, some prefer not to. It is all based on your comfort level and what you are willing to experiment with. It's something you need to talk with your girl about. As with both of you being novice at this you should really take the time to find out what gets each other going. You can then form your "plan of sex" on what you both like.
    I hope this helps.
     
  7. evora

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    Thank you all for your replies!:slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 3rd Feb 2015 at 08:17 AM ----------

    I'm sorry for making a thread about my worries. I think the real problem is I can't let go the way I want to and it's really in the way. I'm scared I'll never be able to be 100% comfortable with her and fully enjoy everything.
     
    #7 evora, Feb 2, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2015
  8. bibiscuit

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    hi evora
    don't apologise for 'making a thread about my worries'!!! what do you think everyone else is doing here? !!! :slight_smile: [also this is the kind of thread people quite enjoy replying to! ;-)]
    for what its worth i think you WILL become comfortable, and you WILL let go. don't worry about when. just enjoy the process. try things. be open minded. if you love each other then that love is the perfect starting point!
    xxxxx
     
  9. jay777

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    Well maybe it would help if you would specify a bit...
    alone writing might help...
     
  10. j3lliec00p

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    I completely agree with bibiscuit. Any sex between any two creatures, requires a certain amount of trust and communication.
    Tell her that you will accept whatever she has to say when you're discussing things, if you love each other, then you'll be able to work on things together. Growing with someone is one of the most beautiful things a person can experience.
    You both are new, so who says it can't be fun to explore and take your time figuring things out? You both should do things that make you both feel more and more comfortable with one another. A nice long walk and a wonderful conversation can do wonders :3

    Being beginners, you should feel free to take baby steps and don't worry about what other people are pressuring you with. That's not fair and believe it or not they're probably encountering similar issues. You can't paint a masterpiece without exploring the basic colors first.
    Give yourself the credit that you are a wonderful partner to be taking this seriously and getting help from others. <3

    If you take the steps to learn a person, explore, and gain relaxation and trust, the more complex romance you're wishing for will follow naturally. Just be patient with eachother, try new things that feel right.
    Good luck to you and have fun! <3