Well the thing is I am 6'5 and I really like a gay guy who is in my class, who I have known for a few years. The problem is that his body language seems to almost exclude me entirely, and I really kind of wanted to go out with him, even as a friend, not necessarily as a couple. Not sure how tall he is, but he'd probably be about 5'1 or 5'2 (over here people are really short, that is the norm) and I get the feeling that he is intimidated by my size, even though I am really friendly with practically everyone. However a lot of short people normally avoid contact with me or look up at me in a really weird way. It would a lie to say that such reactions did not upset me, considerably. There are a few who accept me the way I am, but there aren't many. On the other hand tall people get on much better with me, like a completely different species at times. To get back on topic, I haven't asked him out on a date, but I did ask him out as a friend and he mainly said ''I will let you know [when he has time''. It took me a long while, today in fact, to realize that his preferred group of friends had one thing in common with him: they were all the exact same size. And then when I think about it, I might find him cute and adorable, but that's my POV. He is 5 feet tall, with a few inches thrown in, so his POV is going to be a more warped version than mine, since I'm almost twice his size despite being close in age. It really breaks my heart when I think that something I didn't even ask for, could prove such a hindrance. He's really intelligent, and a very good speaker, apart from always being positive about everything, and I really got attracted to him after a few years to the extent that I found him to be adorable. I mean let's say we do go out, I don't want him to feel like he's the submissive partner (although I would never bottom personally) and I definitely don't want to intimidate him with my size. Personally I like short people, and I have a habit of bending over a little or going down two steps if we are on the stairs to make them comfortable but still I get an almost resentful look sometimes. Where I live, most adult men and women are about 5'5 or 5'6 at most. There was only one man I ever met who truly towered above me, and he was 7'5, and I'm hoping that's not how I might look like for the guy I like. And let's say we do go out, or that say things progress to kissing (from what I've posted, even the former seems unlikely, let alone that, but let me dream aye? :lol... how on earth am I going to do that? Lift him up by his buttocks (and in so doing get a good excuse to give them a good squeeze :icon_redf) till we are at eye level or something? Would anyone have any advice on this sort of thing? And no I haven't actually spoken to him about how he felt about his height, or if he ever considered dating large guys. His birthday is also quite soon, and he will be turning 23 and I wasn't sure if I should ask him out or treat him in some way. Would appreciate some help:smilewave EDIT: really sorry, appears that I posted twice by mistake :s
I am kind of a short guy (5'8") and here are my thoughts... His POV may not be more "warped" just because he is a short guy. When you say you're twice his size, that's more likely a body weight than height comparison (you are 25% taller). A guy who is 5'2" and 115 lbs. may think the guy who is 6'5" and 230 lbs. would crush him or not know his own strength. It also doesn't help that society values tall men more than short men. I have to admit, I've internalized some of that "tall = manly, short = girly" thinking (against my better judgment). Though above about 6'2", it becomes inconvenient to be that tall (fitting into cars and airplanes, etc.). I've been with guys as short as 5'4" or as tall as 6'5". I used to be afraid that height/body size would determine dominant/submissive sexual roles, but my experience suggests that's not the case. The guy who was 6'5" identified as a bottom man (though things never progressed that far between him and me). Though I've caught myself wondering - is a short guy topping a big tall guy like a mosquito humping an elephant? When standing up, the height difference is really apparent. Much less so when sitting or lying down. So if you want to flirt and make out with the guy, perhaps find a way to be sitting or lying down? Now all that said, this "body type" issue seems to be prevalent among gay men. It seems pretty rare for guys to date a radically different body type than their own. This may be why your man is hanging around others with a similar body type. I often wish people didn't make such superficial and limiting decisions.
Well strictly speaking he is rather thin, kind of like a stick insect, whereas I am much more heavily built, which is why I said that And when I asked him out of curiosity, I think he said he weighed around 47kg? He is rather underweight, I weigh 110kg but I do intentionally eat a lot to combine it with exercise. And yes I know about the standing up thing, but on one occasion a friend of mine a few years ago got annoyed at my habit of making excuses to make myself look shorter to make him comfortable by crouching a little, and I'm quite sure he was slightly shorter than the guy I mentioned. It is an ''iffy'' situation, since on one hand someone might get touchy with indirect implications and body language hints that they are a dwarf (even though I'd probably remind them that being Tyrion is awesome). But it is a bit upsetting to see a potential relationship like this look so unlikely in the face of something so superficial. He is a genuinely kind-hearted young man, but the whole situation has left me distressed, especially when I realize he isn't the only short person who looks at me in a weird way or distances himself. Will try to ask him out, just for some lunch in a public place. It's hardly my fault I was taller than he was when I was twelve. Life is really strange sometimes; short people want to get taller and tall people want to get shorter :confused2: P.S about tall = manly and short = girly, I'd disagree there's quite a tall feminine gay guy in my class as well and the person I am interested in as actually quite manly, but again I guess the norm might be the way you put it, yet each person is unique. Normally the short guys I like are taller, but I guess I couldn't help falling for him. This really needs a tiny violin moment :eusa_booh
Are you two friends? He might not even realise that you are interested. In any case, height is only one of the features that define you. Don't dwell on it, as you can't change that part of yourself. I know that's not very helpful, but being a short arse, I've learned how important it is to be okay with it.
Yes we are friends, we've known each other for nearly four years, although mostly in the confines of lecture rooms. Yet we communicate quite regularly, I'm just unsure if I'm just being paranoid. He also knows that I know he is gay, even though he wasn't the one who told me. I'm unsure if he knows that I like him, but then again maybe he wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone bigger. Ahh, I really don't know :icon_sad:
Are you out to this friend? If not, maybe he doesn't even think you're gay, let alone interested in dating...
I haven't told him yet, no. Although I know he wouldn't be surprised if I did tell him, as he probably might have suspicions by now given my sudden surge of interest in the past year and a few messages I left him. His birthday is in a few days, so I might ask him out, just as friends, and get the chance to talk again. Might come out to him in the process, but he probably already has suspicions. Although I do doubt that he knows I like him. Well one step at a time, or so they say. Spoke with a friend (straight, in a relationship) and he said that going out to dinner usually is a good start to a first date, and it will be easy to have conversation together, as opposed to going to watch a movie together. After considering my options, I decided it would be much better if we go out as friends, just so that he can get to know me a bit better, and feel more comfortable around my presence rather than flat out ask him out on a date. I'll be honest when I say I really do love him, and its not just about possible sex (which is also unlikely even if we do date as he is highly religious) but I really hope there is a happy ending to this :eusa_pray ...now I just realized you asked a simple straightforward question, yet I belched out several paragraphs
wowww.. he's a lucky a guy :icon_redf you sound cute and i smiled the whole time reading your story, haha :lol: i'm a short guy, at only around 5'5" or 5'6" (not really sure) and i personally like taller guys i thought a huge height difference would always be a problem in relationship.. in fact i thought tall guys only like other tall guys and i thought i'd never have a tall boyfriend.. but after being around chatsites and forums for quite some time now, i was proven wrong.. people tell me their stories, and i learned that there are actually quite some tall guys who prefer smaller guys, and some are in a happy relationship i am happy to know that :icon_redf and i'm happy to read your thread thanks for sharing this as for if you should ask him out, i think you should the others are right, he might not even have an idea that you're interested, and who knows, he might also like you too and he's just shy just take it slow, maybe ask him on a friendly date first, and just be that nice guy that you are and please don't crouch! haha.. you don't really have to look smaller for someone smaller to like you.. nothing looks better than a confident tall guy with a good posture well at least for me :lol: yeah there are hard parts of being in a tall-short relationship, like how will you kiss, it will look awkward, etc.. but is is that even really a problem at all? :lol: i wish you the best, goodluck (*hug*) :thewave:
Thanks we spoke this morning after one of our classes and he seemed to be much more friendly so I might have been paranoid. He does keep giving me (along with quite a number of others) a look which make me feel a bit awkward. I don't think he is uncomfortable with me as a friend, but a relationship would be an entirely different thing. He definitely doesn't know I like him, more than likely he concluded I just wanted to spend more time with him, because nearly all my friends failed to get past last year. Thanks for the support :smilewave
good for you and if you think a "relationship would be an entirely different thing", ask him, maybe he's just not looking for any relationship at all yet.. but just being good friends is already great for now anyway, again, i wish you luck (*hug*) and thank you too
I'm 5'2", and I've found that a 13" height difference is about as much as I can handle before the physical size difference gets to be a problem. If someone's that much taller than you, you can't reach them to kiss them even if you stand on tiptoe ... and your face is around armpit height, which can be really unappealing. And let's just say that it presents a number of mechanical problems during sex. Hopefully this guy doesn't feel the same way I do ... but be warned that he might. Good luck!
He has shown a great deal of interest in a gay guy in the past, who incidentally wasn't short, at about 5'10-11 at most, but he is not single and everything about him implies a relationship that won't last for long, but he's attractive, so I guess my short friend was interested He would be willing to be in a relationship, with a person he is attracted to, all I need to know is if I could be that person. Yeah that is exactly why I made the thread in the first place. :/ And I'm quite sure he is below my armpit height, which is a good thing if I am sweaty
I really don't think that it is a problem in gay relationships if there is a significant difference in height. It's just about how the two of you click.
I would like to say somethung about the height: I am dating a "small person" or as she prefers dwarf. She's about 2ft shorter than me and everything goes great. Don't let height "stand" in your way (see what i did there??)
Hi Typhoon! From the sounds of what you are saying. If you like this guy, the heigh thing wouldn't be an issue. Because you seem to talk about it a lot. But it's a natural reaction for some people to dwell on the negative side, I am also guilty of this as well. In terms of the guy you like, I'd say how you honestly feel to him. At the end of the day, you as the people who likes this guy can only do so much, you can't force him to like you or wait around for him to say so. Because you have done your part in saying you want to say, if he doesn't the same. It shouldn't matter because you will find some people who will find you attractive and will make you feel good as a person and will not care about your height or anything else. Because whatever makes you, you they will like and you are more important than this guy and if you are waiting a long time for an answer from him, I would say move on, because somebody will treat you better then he would. I hope this helps?
Thanks guys I will speak to him again in a few days. His birthday is on Sunday, and I'm debating on asking him out for lunch next week, just the two of us (now I can't get that bloody song out of my head XD) and it would be a chance to put him at ease if he is feeling any wariness over something this trivial. Going to feel really stupid if it transpires that he has no issues with me being larger.... but I would be super-glad
As someone who has never dated, probably will never date/have a boyfriend, why in the world would you let someone slip away because of height? Seriously - get him a box to stand on if it's that big of problem. (Okay..that might be a joke. )Go for it - don't be me! haha.
