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How to love yourself

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by garabaldi22, Feb 4, 2015.

  1. garabaldi22

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    Hi everyone,

    I came to a realization that I'm having a difficult time loving myself. Especially last night when I started to cut myself over a guy that will never love me back. My friend tells me that I should love myself more, but I really don't know how to do that. Nothing comes to mind when I try to think positive, at times I even think if I'm trying at all.

    Anyway, any advice will help me.

    Thanks
     
  2. adsterrr

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    Loving yourself is the hardest thing to do, but the best advice I can think of is just to simply smile.
    I have struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life and although this may sound ridiculous to some, it really does work.
    Stick little notes around your bedroom with positive words such as 'Happy' and 'Love', whenever you see those words think of a time when you have felt really happy about something, or when you have really loved something, whether this even be a movie, some music or a really great memory.
    Look at those words, envision yourself living that same happy moment, smile as wide as you can and imagine you're there, re-living the moment again :slight_smile:
    It's kind of like a form of meditation and it might sound insane reading it, but trust me it really helps.
     
  3. Pine

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    It seems like a goof first step that you're asking for help. I don't know what the answer is. Just try treating yourself like something valuable because you are valuable.
     
  4. DawnM

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    I don't have any experience with self harm, but I've tetrered on the edge of an ED several times in my life. It took some effort, but I realized that the easy way to come to terms with yourself, and accept/be happy with who you are is to find one thing. Something positive about yourself (physical, mental, anything) that you like or love. Maybe something you're proud of, or some accomplishment.

    Get to love that part of you even more, and then find something else. It's not an easy or quick process, but I wouldn't have the confidence I do today if i hadn't started doing that. Hopefully this can help, but maybe you should speak with a medical professional too and find out if there is anything that can be recommended to get you on the right track.
     
  5. TacobellKFC

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    I'm trying to love myself as well and its not easy....i can tell you what you shouldn't do though....Dont give up (*hug*)
     
  6. cameron23

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    I understand what you are saying. Loving yourself is a necessary thing we all have to learn to do but it never comes with an instruction manual. As someone who recovered from major depression, and self harm 8 years ago, I have a pretty good idea of how this struggle must feel for you. I had to learn to love myself too. It has been a long journey and the best advice I can give to you is to have patience. Patience with yourself and your life. If you tend to be hard on yourself, beat yourself up, and talk negatively to yourself, it first helps that you become aware of how you treat yourself and how you talk to yourself. Often we don't notice that internal voice/monologue that occurs throughout each day so it continues on and on and on. What you tell yourself had a huge impact on your view of yourself, your beliefs and your behavior. It chips away at you every day deeper and deeper. It really helped me to notice what I was saying to myself, and when I realized how hurtful it was to my well being, I was able to start turning the tables and chip right back at those beliefs/thoughts. You have to focus on YOU. No one else. It is not selfish at all even though it might feel like that at first.

    So yes, be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Listen to your heart. Write it all out or talk to someone about it. Create inner awareness. Remember that self love is an imperfect journey. You do not have to be an expert, there is no wrong or right way there is only the way that you create for yourself. I have a rule about what I tell myself: if I wouldn't say it to my own mother, then it is not acceptable to say it to myself! Maybe you can create a similiar rule for yourself.

    I hope that helps, if you need to talk more feel free to message me! *hugs*
     
  7. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    Personally, I don't believe that you can "think" your way out of these feelings, not when they become this intense. But I do believe that you can act your way through this. Do the sort of things that a lovable person would do. Get out of your shell, and get out there doing things of service to others. Do little things, like returning a shopping cart that was blocking a parking space; be part of organized things, like passing out the pancakes at a shelter with a group once a month. Find a group, preferable one with an LGBT connection, but any group, that you can be a part of and volunteer to help, even if it's just to set up the chairs and take out the trash. Little by slowly, your thinking will follow your actions, and you will find that your head is in a different place. good luck.