So I'm not 100% sure if what I'm experiencing is either gender or body dysphoria, but I needed to put a name to what I feel. It's just how my brain works. I've recently noticed that the feeling only comes around when I am a boy, which is part of what led me to call it gender/body dysphoria. I guess it's more body dysphoria? I don't know. It's like, I'll just become unhappy with the fact that I have a large chest, tiny waist, and wide hips. The worst I've experienced is walking in the middle of the school hallways when I suddenly just cringe and get a full body shiver. Like in disgust. I just feel repulsed, not in my head but all over my body, like someone has touched me without permission. Revulsion. I also find that the pain from my Macromastia becomes more noticeable. If I see myself in the mirror when I feel this way, I am just disappointed and find myself wishing for at least smaller breasts and a slimmer silhouette instead of looking like your generic anime girl. I don't have an explicit want for male genitalia, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it. However, when I'm a girl, I don't mind that I have extreme curves and might dress in form-fitting clothes or wear a dress or skirt. And there are times when I'm not really a boy or a girl, but it doesn't bother me. If anything, I just have the logical want for a breast reduction due to Macromastia (literally and figuratively a pain). So I guess it boils down to: does this sound like gender/body dysphoria or nah? I really only experience it when I'm a boy so...
It sounds like some kind of disphoria. You might have a look here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/150966-androgyne-identity.html#14 You might also for example talk to a gender therapist, a counselor or someone from an lgbt center, if that's what you want... saying you want some counseling... You might look for support groups, maybe in your local lgbt center... and build some community on EC, after10 postings you can chat with others via wall messages, after 14 days you can apply for full membership and join the chat and send private messages... http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/164130-other-trans-friends.html You might think about posting in the gender identity and expression section, where more people knowledgable on the subject might read...
